Dear parents: Why do you tell your children this..?

Question

"I want you to go to college"..."right now my plan for your life is to get this job, so you can get this and this job" , "im just waiting for you to get thru with college so that i can trravel.(kid is 21 years old)" ..parent is basically living thru child..ideas??

Answer 1

Go to the library and write up your own 5 year plan.  Then present it to your parents.  Tell them "This is my plan for me".  Then stick to it.  

Answer 2

If I did say these things to my child it would be because i love them and want them to have a good life.

Answer 3

1.)  "I want you to go to college". What decent jobs are available now days to people w/o a college degree? Parents should encourage their kids to make something of their lives.

2.) "my plan for your life...". That one is off base. It's wrong to push your kids into a certain career. My mom tried to force me into nursing and I failed all my classes and changed majors the next semester.

3.) "I'm waiting for you to get through college so I can travel". Who's paying for tuition????? It it's mom and dad, heck yes they have a right to push their kids to graduate. And maybe the parents just want their kids to graduate and find a home-- where is the kid supposed to stay for summers and Christmas break when mom and dad sell the house to travel?

Other than the 2nd one, none of those are "living through your kids". Parents who don't push their kids to do things with their lives are just crappy parents.

Answer 4

I have told my children since they were 2 that school doesn't stop at 12th grade. I expect them to go to college or trade school or whatever.

I don't have a specific plan for them, but I encourage their strengths and hope they choose something that they'll love and that will pay enough for them not to worry about money.

Oh and I'm waiting to travel until my kids are out of college, too. for starters , I will still be heavily supporting them through college. Not just college expenses but food and clothing, too. When they are done, I can't wait to travel the world! Hopefully, they will be able to come along a little with us.

Now the second thing you said is very pushy. "right now my plan in life for you is bla bla bla" that's silly. Parent needs to cut the cord.

Answer 5

my kid is 8 and i haven't told my kid that yet but i do know when he get to be in high school i will ask him what he wants to do then point him in the right direction. parents who tell there kids that they want them to go to college is because of the jobs now days the want college back ground in order for them to hire you if you want a better paying job but as far as the other quotes up there i think that is just plane wrong if parents are telling there kids those things i really think having a kid go to college will better the kid not the parent  

Answer 6

Other than the first one, I wouldn't say any of those things to my child.  Although, I'd say, "I encourage you to go to college" rather than "I want...."  The last one though, maybe they are waiting to travel until you are finished with school because they want you to go along too.  They miss you.  You're growing up (and out of their house).  Its a little thing called empty nest syndrome.  It sounds like they may have a bad case of it and are still trying to have as much control as possible.  Try not to be upset and try not to lash out at them.  Since you're 21, just sit down and have a mature conversation with them (assuming this is you we are talking about).  Let them know how you feel and listen to them as well.  Perhaps its just a misunderstanding.

Answer 7

Well parents want the best for their children and college will oftentimes provide that. I personally do not want to push college onto my children specifically, but rather have them go into a school of trades or whatever to pursue their real interests. I do not want them to grow up and hate their job, I want to them to try to become successful at something they love first.

I do not want to push my children into something they do not want to do. But if your parents are paying for your schooling, you better try to finish on time or you better find a way for you to pay for it yourself. Those who have parents who pay for their college are lucky people and should be happy and grateful instead of selfish people.