Death, dying, bereavement - how do other people cope with these inevitable facts of life. ?

Question

Some days like today, I just get 'set off' for want of a better phrase. The whole day I just want to burst into tears and I have severe butterflies in my stomach.

Mainly I think about my wee girl (3) and it reminds me when I was her age and I remember when my folks were young and how hard their life was (money wise etc) and it is almost like the whole circle of life malarkey really gets me down.

It is really hard to explain but ultimately I am bereft at the thought of losing my folks, my aunt etc and all their generation of friends. I also imagine rattling around this house in years to come when my daughter has grown and how ridiculous is this - she is only 3 but already I am just devastated.

I also am so so close to my Dad that I know when he does go I will never ever find someone who loves me that way ever ever again and I cannot imagine a life ever without him.

How silly is it? It happens to us all and yet I try not to get upset but it feels like I am bereaved

Answer 1

Twenty-five years ago I became a Buddhist. (Tibetan tradition)  It gave me tremendous insight into living, death and dying.  We in the west are so out of touch with the reality of death it's pathetic.  You may wish to read, "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche.

Answer 2

The way I look at things may be a bit different than you, however, think of how hard life is for everyone, the pains you get everyday, muscle, headaches, sorrow, and then realize that God has a plan, and that plan includes death of people. This is not a BAD thing, but a Good thing, as people no longer have to suffer anymore, they will be totally and fully taken care of in heaven, and be with others they had also known who had passed away. Yes, you will be sorrowful when your father passes on, but realize he will be taken care of in a way that is impossible on this earth, and that he will watch you grow as well. I also see a nice lesson here in your question, your father taught you unconditional love, and that he loves you that much, return what he has taught you to your daughter, and your daughter will return that to her children as well, continue the good cycle your father has taught you, it's probably the best life's lesson you could ever learn, (most people never learn that lesson).

Answer 3

If your anxiety interrupts with your daily routine, and/or if  your sleep pattern is erratic, then you may have the onset of mild OCD which is usually due to extremely low levels of serotonin. If it is OCD and it is left untreated, it could progress to panic attacks and depression.

btw, children easily pick up on fear so, for your daughter's sake, I would visit your doctor.

Answer 4

Nobody copes ,you just get through it,the rips and tears in your heart are never visible to others.