Death of Father on your birthday?

Question

My husband died on my then 9 year old's birthday, problem is that was back in 2001 and he is now 16 years old and still very angry about the fact that he died on HIS birthday. Has anyone out there had experience with this situation and can help me, help him cope with this to bring some type of comfort? Thanks

Answer 1

Unfortunately, I never had to deal with this. So it's kind of hard for me to help you help your son. Let's just say I've dealt with something similar.

It was Christmas 2007, and my grandmother was on hospus. She died last January, but was thunderously miserable on Christmas. And what's difficult for me is that I can barely remember my grandmother. It's been seven months since she died and I've known her for all my life. But I can't put any puzzle pieces together to try to figure out what kind of memories I had with her.

I'm just assuming that your son remembers his dad. And I know that every Christmas in the future will suck for me.I'll remember that it was when my grandma was on hospus, but can remember her exactly. And I'm like your son with the not likng of the birthday thing, because I don't like mine either, but for a different reason. I just don't like being old, but I know Christmas will be like birthdays for your son.

It sounds very sad and obviously really devastating on your son, but try to let him know that everything will be OK, and you're their for him. And hopefully your son has friends that suport your son in the situation. As well as me.

Even though I don't know a thing about you or your son, but you can tell him that this Yahoo user is here for you and giving you guys his ("his" meaning me) sympathy.

Hope everything will be OK. Life goes on and people have to deal with Death and Heartbreak, but they still have friends to support them. And Christmas for me will be very different as well.

Hope your son will eventually make it through his birthday calmly.

Answer 2

No easy answer to this one.

If I were you I'd explain to your son that on his birthday he will always have difficult and conflicting emotions, and, to keep his father's death-day reverent, recommend that he wait a day, until the day after, to celebrate his birthday.

Answer 3

i had goosebumps when i read this dunno why.. but anyway tell him that he has to let go of the fact that his dad died on his birthday.. these things happen and you cant let this affect your life.. its not his or anyone's fault that he passed away on that particular day.. its jus life and you have to live it.. there are more to life and he shouldnt let this misfortune keep him from livin his life to the fullest.. sure its painful to deal with but im sure his father would of wanted him to be strong and live happily.. its been 7 years now... jus let it go

Answer 4

Tell him his father couldn't choose his dying day (I am guessing not suicide?) and sometimes our loved ones are called on our special day.  Every birthday he can just think about his Dad and how much he would want to be there for him and is thinking of him in heaven.