Deathbed letter poem i have written, i can't get this verse right, help would really be appriciated?

Question

i have written a very moving poem about a man dying of cancer and it is his last letter to his wife, telling her to move on and thanking her and aplogising for all the wrong things he has done. it has a very nice rhythm and rhymes but this one verse doesn't really fit. could you think of something better please?

here it is:

"I didn't make the most of life,

I have so many regrets.

I was too boring and too cross,

I didn't pay off my debts."

I think its the debts bit that doesnt really work (sounds cheesy)

the second line has to rhyme with the last please.

thanks so much!

xox

(p.s. could you keep to the theme of regrets please)

Answer 1

i think that in order to really learn u must complete it, maybe not without help, but take what we say into consideration, thats all, my advice is to simply, create a charecter out of it, if the person is fantasy, but either way make it so that the reader has knowledge about the person from the poem, i wrote one after my godfather died of cancer a couple months back, it helped me get through it, so what i mean to tell u is that a writers job is to make the "story" come to life, so reach for the stars as they say.

Answer 2

I didn't take my cat to the vets?

I didn't give you respect?

Answer 3

I didn't make the most of life,

I have many regrets.

Oh, if I could turn back time,

Actually, I'm not sure what your looking for...maybe this can get your mind thinking more...

I would never want to forget.

I would change all the neglect.

iuno...good luck

Answer 4

I like it as it is, but if you really want to change it, try:

"I didn't make the most of life,

there's is so much i regret.

The best thing that happened,

was the day that we met."

(I changed the third line....hope you dont mind ^_^)

Answer 5

Hi

I think it can be

I didn't pay care and didn't make much concentrate

well see if it is ok.

Answer 6

My poem

My life and regrets:

I made so many mistakes

never made an effort to correct them

as a result I have so many regrets

My debts didn't get taken care of

now its too late.

I was too stubborn unwilling to take care of things.

Now I am gone this is all that I bring.

I wish I took better care of my health

now its too late

( I have so many regrets

because I didn't pay off all my debts

this I will not forget. )

Answer 7

I didn't make the most of life.......

So many mistakes - I regret!

I was so boring and often cross

And sometimes, your needs, went unmet!