Deceased mother's wedding ring etiquette?

Question

My mother died last year and left me her wedding/engagement rings (they are welded together). My bf and I decided to get engaged and I said I wanted to use my mother's ring. Is this weird? I've heard of inheriting grandmothers' rings, but it it weird for me to use my own mother's wedding/engagement rings? She knew she was going to die and we talked about it and she expressed that she would be honored if I used her ring. Also, my parents were married 37 years and I guess I think it has good luck (I'd never wear a ring from a marriage that ended in divorce, just me).

Am I only suppose to wear the engagement ring? It has a very unique design, so to get a new wedding band to match would require a custom ring, costing 3x the usual cost of a pre-made band, not including the fact it has intricate detail.

Is this violating some etiquette rules? I wear the ring on my left hand with the engagement ring on the bottom and plan to switch to wedding ring on bottom after marrying.

Answer 1

if you love the person who is going to be wearing them thats fine

Answer 2

Thats a weird question

Answer 3

I think you should be proud to honor your mother's wishes. There is no rule against using a deceased parent's wedding ring, I have even heard of living mothers giving up their engagement ring (not wedding ring of course) for their son's use when "popping the question".

Of course you should talk with your fiance` about any "dreams" he might have on the matter of wedding rings but ultimately it is what feels right in YOUR heart. Your mom wanted you to have this option and unless you really don't want to use the ring then why not?!?

Answer 4

I think what you are doing is absolutely fine!  If it wasn't for the significant damage on my grandmother's ring, I would have used it as my engagement as well. Instead, my guy has found a similar style for me and is buying that.  Next year, I'll get her ring repaired as it is sentimental.

Answer 5

that sounds awesome, if it's what you want to do then don't worry about etiquette. honoring your mother in such in important way is great.

Answer 6

No problem with that at all.

Here's how it would have gone down according to etiquette:

When you're mom died the rings would have gone back to your dad.  When your boyfriend decided to propose he would have gone  to your dad to ask for his blessing and your dad would have given him the rings to propose with.

This is the same way it will go when your son or daughter is ready to get married (get ready to give up your ring), or if you want to keep it longer your granddaughter or grandson.

Congratulations, this is how traditions are made.

P.S. a good jeweler should be able to take the ring and band apart so they can be rejoined at the wedding.

Answer 7

I think that is amazing that you have that ring to wear!

See if theycn be seperated so not to change the stregth of the ring.  If not then I would wait till the wedding to wear it!

Answer 8

That's fine if it suits you. I myself wear my mom's engagement ring occasionally, but as a dress ring.

It's not hard for a jeweller to un-solder the rings, should you want to just wear the engagement ring for now.