Depressed, Lost, Confused: How can I help him and guys how would you want one to be there for you?

Question

Okay, well my dear friend and I have gone through a range of ups and downs, but still manage to always come together in peace. Our relationship is he has been there for him and I am there for him. But this time he is quite depressed and well his depression arrays of so many issues which presents circumstances and his life being quite difficult. But also situations have restored in one complicating the relationship he has with his family, in other words he has been neglected, abandoned and disowned. Well his "friends" and i state friends in quotes because i would not consider his friends though we get along as true and real friends, as i know they influence negativity actions especially knowing he is in a vulnerable, to participate in. The most difficult thing here is that he lives in the same environment as them, as their is a number of them there and not even one i can clearly outline is strong or optimistic.Yes, his friends have not had a life whereas it is optimistic, so their environment is pretty much full of negativity. So i am practically the only person in his life there who is very much positive and have been told by many i am bringing such vibes, understanding, awareness etc.

But here I am, and I feel so defeated because this is someone who is so depressed, lost and confused, and here i am wanting to be there and also show him there is light. Also although life may have presented negative elements, does not mean he should live down that path. Problem is i do not get to see him that much as i do understand he is trying his best to get his life in order, but knowing he is in bad company and is going back to bad environment full of negativity keeps me very concerned. As sometimes i can feel in my soul and heart times when he is not okay from his side.

Also it is great he feels able to confide in me about deeper things and as soon as we are far from his environment. For instance when he is walking me to the bus stop he has told me that he does not trust his friends, wants to sort himself out with getting another place of residence and dropping communication as they bring problems and they are too much trouble for him..and he does not need such people of negativity. Not only has he said this once to me but more than three times in different ways and because his friends stick to him like glue it makes it that much complicated, especially living in the same environment. But knowing he is not safe, or should i say feel comfortable makes me that much anxious.

But the question is how and what things can i do to help brush positivity enough for him to be strong and his own leader to fight through the difficulties he is going through?

I know you can't make someone be a certain way and change comes from within but through actions and words you can brush of positivity. But how and what can i do to help him.

I would appreciate answers from those who have been suffers of this and those who have managed to help those successfully in ways they managed to help.

Answer 1

you sound like a beautiful, caring person, i think most people would be grateful to have some one like you worrying about them. i think the best you can do is be there for him, spend time with him, and let him know that you care. if he wants to change his place of residence but isnt managing on his own, you could help him get newspapers or ads about places he could move to. helping with technical details like this can help move him along. but generally just keep spending time with him, take him away from damaging people, and let him know he can rely on you and talk to you, and that you care.

you sound really sweet, youve probably already helped him a lot already.

Answer 2

I've had two "friends" that were the exact description of your mate's "friends". Both female, they hung around me and mentally tired me with their chatter and such.

  When I realised that it was them who gave this air of negativity, I distanced myself from them by engaging with social activities and finally broke off the friendship. In fact, I was lucky because in both cases, I moved schools (first was prep to senior, second was moving to another country) and so all contact was severed and it's helped greatly, even though they were around me for two years.

I wouldn't know what to do exactly with your friend, but if he's confined in you that he doesn't want this, you should tell him you don't wish for it either and then get him involved in other things; school clubs and the like, to try and get some temporary distance between him and this gang of people.

I think finding a new place to live would be beneficial, though I'm not sure if this is a collage campus or flats and how easy it'll be to get it, but look into it if it's an option.

Best of luck.

Answer 3

You can forget all this new age helping out c**p.

The best thing you can do is tell him to pull himself together and maybe help him find a new place to live away from the losers that are dragging him down.

Also it wont work unless he actually wants to do it. Some sad acts actually like the attention that being depressed brings.

I personally dont believe in depression, choose your mood.

Answer 4

if i had a friend like you I never would have been depressed in the first place especially if we was knockn boots

d**n baby u fine!!

Answer 5

There's only so much you can do. Take your friend to a therapist.

Answer 6

Just let your friend know that you are there for him and that you will help him in what ever way you can. Tell your friend that he needs to go and see a doctor and that you will go along with him to support him.    

If I was in the same situation that your friend is, I would want this sales insurance agent who I love very much and his name is Robert C. Reisig to be there for me as a friend who will try to help me and listen to me.  He is a very hot, attractive and s**y man who has a great and fantastic body. His whole body is perfect in every way.

Answer 7

There isn't a lot you can do, just support him, listen, don't pressure, and encourage him to see a therapist and see a doctor to get diagnosed if he hasn't already.  YOU can not help him, he is sick and needs medical help.  All you can do is support him, but don't ever think for a second there is something you can do to make him better.