These past six months I have suffered from severe mood swings. One day (or even more frequently than that) I'll feel so good and happy about something, and I'll wonder why I wasn't feeling good before, and then something will happen (and it could be a small or simple as me being overloaded with homework) and I'll feel so heavy and sad and lonely. Lonely especially. I have really cool parents who do things like surf, play guitar, play soccer, and write for the newspaper, but they have been fighting recently and I have never really felt comfortable asking questions and talking to my mom about growing up. (Like she's open to talk but I always feel really akward and like it's not going to stay between us.) I have one really good friend who loves me and is the best listener I know, but it's not like she's alwsy at my house. When I'm down I sometimes have headaches, crying fits, and long for a way to end it (though I have never attempted or seriously considered suicide), while other times I'll just feel blank and empty and have dramatic thoughts about there not being anything good or beautiful in my life. And then I'll be happy again and think "oh, I was just being dramatic." In public I'm a generally cheery, expressive person who does a lot of babysitting and is very involved in sports, school, theater, and the community, but sometimes I feel like I'm just putting on a show, like that's not really how I feel at all. My eating habits have also been irregular. I feel like I've gained a lot of weight (I'm 14 years old, 5' 5'' and 129 lbs.) because I went through a phase where I felt like I had to be eating constantly or else I was wishing for food (I was making good choices, just eating a lot), but not I'm not hungry and eating mainly fruit and a little bit of whole grains. I'm not sure if it's hormones because don't get my period yet, but I know a part of it is lonliness. I have a large group of friends, and I'm not bad looking except to myself, btu I've never had a boyfriend or anything. I just want somebody to say that they love me, but I don't klnwo if anybody but my parents and my best freind can deal with my mood swings. Oh, and I have never told this to anyody except anonymously like this. I'm afraid to seek help, I don't want to be diagnosed, but I know I'm not fully okay. Is it just the teenage stress talking?
Oh..and sorry for having this be so long.
Also, I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and have been known to drive myself crazy over it. I stress a lot.
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