Depression & Anxiety...want to be normal again...

Question

Ok...so, my mom passed away last November. She had a terminal illness, but it was so unexpected. I've been away for the past 8 years since my husband is in the military. I felt I needed to see my mom, so I drove from VA to TX to visit her. She was sick, but looked & said she was ok. The next morning, after I drove my little sister to school, my mom called me on my cell & complained of a stomach ache, so I came home as quick as I could. I took her to the hospital, she became confused, and then lapsed into a coma for a week, and eventually passed. I pretty much took care of everything (insurance policy & funeral arragements), since my step dad's english isn't the greatest. I'm not going to lie...it was VERY difficult trying to be strong and sensitive for everyone, including my 13 yr old sister, and over-emotional 36 yr old older brother. Since my husband had to go back to work, we left a little before Christmas. I felt so guilty leaving my sister, and I tried to explain to my husband that I felt that I needed to be there for a while, but he wasn't very understanding. It's been about 8 months, and we'll be back in Texas in December (he'll be out of the military then). I'm having weird chest pains on my left side (heart area), and I'm scared about it, but I think it's just stress, anxiety, and possibly depression. It's difficult, because my husband is trying to get me to function normally, finish my last 3 classes of college, find a temporary job, keep house, and he gets frustrated when I'm not "productive"...I feel guilty when I am not accomplishing things, because I can see the disappointment in his face. I wish he would understand that I helped everyone, and never really had the chance to take time out for myself. I want to go back to TX and be with my sister, and away from his high expectations for a little while. He, of course, doesn't want me to go. It makes me resent him a little, since I always waited for him when he used to go out to sea for 3-4 months at a time. I wish he would cut me some slack and do the same for me. My college even gave me 5 months, and said I could take the 3 classes in Feb next year. I really need some advice...ONLY SERIOUS answers please. Thank you & God Bless You!

Answer 1

You wrote that clearly and concisely. I honestly would copy it down and give it to your husband to read. You don't have to say it was a question you asked. Just say you wanted to get your feelings out. He can't live your life for you and you know exactly what the problem is and what you need.

Answer 2

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Do not worry, I am not spamming my site - my site don't sell products or anything. My site is solely dedicated to panic-attacks or people whom have anxiety. I give tips on how to sleep even if you have anxiety.

Please do visit and post any questions there or here so that I can help you further.

I have been a sufferer for 12-years and am doing well. My blog is dedicated to help. I will be updating my blog every 5-7 days on new ways to cope anxiety. I have just made few good entries on coping - I hope it will help you.

I started out taking prozac 20mg daily.. then it dropped to 10mg and now I am just taking 5mg and still doing very well. I might be considering taking medication off my life.

And most importantly, I am here to help you because I know how it feels to have anxiety or panic attacks.

I have just posted a new entry and uploaded some good files for you to do some relaxation.

All the best,

Seng

Answer 3

Work, read about Buddhism.  Be thankful you have food to eat.  Continue with college.  Love those who are left.  I lost my real mother, but I have an adopted mother.  It will be ok, but it will take a lot of time.  I care about you.  And so do others.  If you can afford to see a psychiatrist, then do so.      

Yes to the third answer.  Help yourself, but also help others to a certain point.  But don't let anyone walk on you.

Answer 4

I dont have any advice. I too suffer from bipolar disorder (a brain chemical inbalance) that causes depression and anxiety. My mom has it and I think it might be hereditary.

Anyways I have not experienced this type of problem.

But, there is a good support group just for people with depression.

Here is the link where people know what your going through and can help you: http://www.depressionforums.org/

Answer 5

you have to get help. a good shrink, you are confortable with, will give you medications or professional tips like say NLP that will help you. but if you want to help your sis, your hubby, first get some help for yourself.  

Answer 6

I feel so sorry for you. I have experienced this also with the depression. I found it hard to get going everyday and couldn't even get dressed for the day. As hard as it may be (I know its easier said than done) you need something to take your mind off things you might want to go back to school or work. Working is what finally helped me. I wish you and your family all the best!!

Answer 7

Laugh. Laugh more and more and more until your stomach hurts..once your stomach hurts, it's like the pain you are feeling emotionally now, but even if your stomach hurts, it hurted because you were laughing...which was a good thing..also, think about your mom...she wants you to be happy, doesn't she?

Try to stay happy, ok?

Also, if you feel anxious, don't keep thinking about the matter..in fact, don't think about anything!

Just relax..look at yourself from another angle..what do you see? A lady who is stressed and busy? A confused woman? A sad daughter?

In that case, wouldn't you want her to be happy? That's the same thing...how you want the lady you see in the mirror to be happy, is how you have to make yourself happy...always relaw..don

t rush into things

God won't give you too many things that you cannot handle