Depression DURING pregnancy? How did this happen?

Question

I had heard of PPD... but I am SO depressed all of the time. I am almost 23 weeks pregnant and I feel so empty and alone. I am to be married next week and I love my soon to be husband very much. He is everything I could ever ask for and I love him dearly.

But something just feels wrong in my life. I am always so down. I got let go from my job at about 14w bc I had bad m/s in the first tri and missed quite a bit of work. Well thats been two months ago and he goes to work all day from 7:30-5:00 and I am at home - alone. There are only so many naps I can take, only so much laundry to do, and only so many times I can stare at ultrasound photos in one day lol. My depression has gotten bad the past few weeks. Crying out of nowhere, not wanting to be around anyone, finding it VERY hard to be nice to others...

I didnt want to bring it up to my fiance (my depression) bc I wasnt sure if it was just my hormones/etc but then a while back he said something. Sometimes as much as I try to hide it he will say "youve been sad this week.. youre depression is getting worse.."

For some stupid reason I am getting upset now as I write this and I dont know why. I can no longer blame it on my hormones - there is something wrong with me and I dont know what or what to do. I dont want to take anti-depressants while pregnant either. I feel stupid that I say I am depressed when I have this amazing little boy growing inside of me - I feel selfish.

I dont even know if this question makes any sense but has anyone else gone through this and came out ok?

Did you talk to your dr about it? What did he recommend?

...

:(

Answer 1

I think you need to talk to your doctor about it. I've been feeling anxious more than depressed while pregnant, but for me both of those states are closely linked, and at times I can feel myself slipping more towards depression. I talked to my doctor and we agreed that the best thing for me to do was to go see a counsellor or psychologist to talk it through. You can use cognitive behavioural therapy instead of drugs- and there are drugs that are safe during pregnancy if you really need them, too.

Just remember that because of the hormones, everything is magnified. It all feels worse. You're also going through two of the hugest events in anyone's life right now- not only having a baby, but also getting married! I did those three years apart, and there are so many things to think about with both, even when you're 100% sure you want them.

It's great that your fiance knows you well enough to ask- let him know what he can do to help you. For me, that means my husband listening to me sob about things that sound logical in my head, but utterly stupid when you say them out loud Like that you're selfish for being depressed while pregnant- I've had that one myself, and the answer is you're only feeling depressed because you're worried about making sure everything is perfect for your little (and big) guys- so you're hardly being selfish, and besides- who ever said you can't worry about yourself, or feel a little down? It sounds like things have been tough for you lately.

I took up jewellery making, embroidery and knitting to keep my mind off depression- jewellery you can make for yourself; embroidery and knitting you can do for the baby. There have been other great suggestions about things to do to take your mind off things- I read a lot.

But you need someone else to help you get out of this- my old psychologist told me it's impossible to climb out of a well unless someone at the top passes you down a ladder. Your doctor and a psychologist/ counsellor are there to hand you the ladder, and your fiance is there to hold it steady. You'll be fine- and good luck with the wedding!

Answer 2

many women feel depressed during pregnancy. you should let your doctor know if it last a long time.

another option is exercise. or anything that gets you out of the house.

Answer 3

You have a lot of strength to come forward and ask about what you are going through. Yes, it IS possible to go through depression during pregnancy. There is a possibility that women who are depressed during pregnancy may also be more likely to have PPD, but that is not definite (there are women who were depressed during pregnancy but not after.)

Now, what can you do about it. You've started by recognizing what is happening. That's good. Tomorrow morning, you should call your prenatal practitioner (ob, midwife, etc.) and discuss it with them - there are people you can talk to and that may help; there are also medications that are safe during pregnancy and while breastfeeding. Also, don't sit around all day just taking care of the things that need to be done. It's bittersweet having this time to adjust to being home, but better now than when you are also getting used to having a new baby!

Things you can do:

Go to the mall

Go to the zoo

Go to the library (ask about their story time for children for after the baby comes)

Go to a museum

Look up La Leche League (www.llli.org) and find a local group - start going to meetings now and establishing friendships with other women who are expecting and who have young children. It gives you something to do with your time.

Know that this is temporary even though it feels like eternity (the depression, not the pregnancy.) Write some poems about the growing baby boy insde you - his tiny hands and feet, he can hear your voice, feel your caress when you touch your belly, etc. Those are things you can read when you are feeling really down and it may help pick you up.

Answer 4

Were you an emotional/depressed person before pregnancy?

If you were you may want to look into seeing a psychologist about it. There are some brilliant therapists out there! It is best to get help before you have your baby because the last thing you want to develop in postnatal depression.

It is easy to assume that hormonal changes are the cause of your feelings. This may very well be true. I am 38 weeks pregnant now and have had my ups and downs. I often found myself extremely emotional and sad over the smallest things, but at the time it was huge to me!!! I still have days where I feel down being left at home by myself most of the day but atleast we have partners who come home :) Every woman is different, your hormones may be more harsh to you unfortunately.

Also you are able to be depressed without having depression. Losing your job and staring at 4 walls all day would do that to anyone. Get out a little more and speak with your GP to be referred to someone qualified to discuss depression.

All the best :) Im sure you'll be just fine