Depression With capital D?

Question

My husband lost his sister 2 years ago and has suffered with depression and anxiety ever since, although able to cope with it in the beginning, i am finding it really difficult to cope with now, we have a beautiful 5 yr old son whom my husband says he has no connection with (this is only because he can't be bothered or when he has finished work (we have our own business) he just wants to sit in front of the tv and do nothing). He shouts at me all the time over silly little things and can say some really terrible nasty things. He never ever used to be like this he was so laid back, always having a giggle and a laugh, i just want my husband back. This is really effecting me and i don't this to sound like it's about me me me because it isn't but a huge factor is our son, i don't want him to be effected by this and i can already see that it is. I don't want to have to take my son away for a few days or a week as feel this will result in confusion for my son and my husband being cross. (please note he has never ever been violent it is just verbal). Has anyone else had to cope with depression like this and if so please help me with what to do if you can. My mum had depression when we were younger so lived through it with her and although bad and just finding that i am taking this with my husband very personal.

Answer 1

Is he on drugs like smoking cigarettes, alcohol or Prozac with a capital P?

If you do not have enough money, you could take drugs, like alcohol or crack, to feel better and many do. But that does not cure it. The cure is to make more money. If you are depressed, the cure is not to take a drug, like Prozac. The cure is to be happier. If you have panic or anxiety, which everyone feels at one time or another, the cure is not to take drugs. The cure is to feel more tranquility, calmness and peace of mind. See site below for more on this.

Kevin Trudeau says in his best selling book, Natural Cures They Do Not Want You to Know About, "All illnesses and diseases are caused by the same things; (1) too many toxins in the body; (2) nutritionally deficiencies; (3) electromagnetic chaos exposure; (4) mental and/or emotional distress." "The most effective way to cure and prevent disease is by getting the toxins out." "One very powerful cleanse is, of course, fasting." "Drugs only suppress symptoms, and they cause disease because they are toxic." In More Natural Cures Revealed, Kevin Trudeau says "The facts are clear, drugs, both prescription and non-prescription, do not make you healthier, they make you sicker. Drug companies are not interested in your health. Drug companies only want you to buy and use more drugs. If you want to cure yourself of any disease you have and remain healthy, you must eliminate all non-prescription and prescription drugs."

http://www.phifoundation.org/panic.html

Answer 2

You don't have to worry about the question sounding at all like your selfish because you're not at all. It's a bit difficult because your husband may be the only one to realize that he has to be strong enough for your family to "get back on his feet." The most important thing to do with your son is to surround him with loving positive people. You've been in your son's shoes and you should think what you would have done when you were younger so that you could get away from the experience. Your son shouldn't be going through this at such a young age because it may lead to his depression later on in life knowing that he can't be strong enough to get through it because his father wasn't strong enough to get through depression himself. It'd be even difficult to leave your husband. You need to tell your husband that he should be happy with what he has now and he has important responsibilities, mainly your son. Let him know he has to be strong enough to get through it or he just may lose you and your son. All the luck to you.

Answer 3

get him some help - professional help

Answer 4

Stress causes the body to lose minerals.

try the simplist things to help her first and then her brain can take over from there.

http://www.phpure.com/nutrition_products...

Answer 5

It's completely understandable that your husband is still going through the grieving process. I can only guess what it's like to lose a sibling, but I have no doubt that it's caused him a lot of pain. If he was close with her, it would be even more so.

The distancing and verbal abuse you're experiencing and witnessing with your husband are typical of depression. I understand this as I currently suffer from depression. It's not fun, but you really need to be supportive of him despite what he throws at you. That's not to say you should tolerate being abused, but it's important that he knows you're there for him.

It might be difficult, but try to convince him to see a doctor. There is absolutely no shame in seeking treatment for depression or anxiety. When it interferes with not just his life, but the lives of his family members, he really needs to look at his treatment options. He may want to seek the guidance of a grief counselor or talk to his doctor to see if a drug therapy is right for him.

I wish you the best of luck and hope that your husband gets back to his old self soon.

Answer 6

your husband needs professional help for the depression. please get him to see a doctor and consider starting antidepressants and also looking at psychological therapies.  He probably does have feelings for his son, but the depression prevents these from breakingt hrough. Seek help.

Answer 7

My mum has suffered with depression her entire life, and unfortuantly has attempted suicide twice meaning my childhood was spent trawling back and fourth between home, school and our nearest mental health unit. So I can understand the impact depression can have when its a member of the immediate family. Removing your son for short periods of time is not a good idea, but culturing stronger healthier relationships with other individuals in the family and outside of it is. My saving grace was my paternal grandparents and often I would be picked up from school by them, have tea and then come home later in the evening when mom was in her worst phases. In the end however, you have to remember that limiting the influence your son recieves from your husbands problem is not enough on its own. Your son, as you say may experience confusion, so it is vital that both you and those you allow to be responsible for him understand the situation and thus can answer any questions your son may have in a language he understands. It is also important that your husband recognises this move as being in your sons best interests and not an attempt to isolate him from his family. Therefore this move needs to be in alignment with some form of pro-activity in dealing with the depression. Stage one I believe...show him this. Often it is easier to express our feelings in written form and I think here you have encapsualted your dilemma perfectly. Stage two should then be to sit and discuss with him what you've said. The likelyhood is that he wont be able to fully appreciate your point of view immediatly, but this remember, is the veil depression places on sufferers as a form of emotional self-defense, they will become resistant to others opinions as they have little clarity in their own. Then, get help. If he wont accept some for him. Join a support group or phone a help-line anyway to allow you and your son to have a voice, an outlet. I know sweetheart, it can be alot to deal with, but the fact is you have to remain strong in order to allow your family to remain together and for the impact on your son to be kept to a minimum. Dont be afraid to do the right thing, your husband may not appreciate it now, but see that as the ignorance of depression not the mis-placed resentment of your husband. And in the end, this experience after-all is something your son can learn a lot from providing you communicate in terms of facts and not opinion and make sure he is aware that life exists outside of his immediate surroundings and there is always somewhere understanding to go if it becomes a little bit to much. Best wishes.

Love Lee x

Answer 8

He must see a G.P and accept that he needs help. But please stick with him, he really needs you right now, and through all his anger I bet he really loves his family