Describe a pretentious act or behavior of someone. What sort of things constitute pretentiousness(open rant)?

Question

I've always heard the word "pretentious" used very vaguely. I know how to use it from both conversation and definition. I've always had trouble recognizing pretentiousness or being able to apply the word because of the fact that it is so circumstantial. I would love to hear your experiences and examples. Maybe a list of behaviour or instances that could scream "pretentious".

Answer 1

You're right.  Pretentious is a vague word that took years to really understand.  In fact, many people who use the word pretentious are just being pretentious.

I always think of pretentiousness as doing or saying something more for the effect of how you will appear to others than for the whatever the obvious effect of your words or actions should be.  People usually do it to sound smart.

For example, people are often pretentious when they use difficult, obscure words.  If I said, "I especially liked the dichotomy between beginning and the end" just for the sake of sounding smart by using a big word like dichotomy, I would be pretentious.  It makes me feel better about myself to unnecessarily (though correctly) use the word and might impress the less-educated around me.  

People often speak in a pretentious manner by using unnecessarily difficult, formal, and often out of date language.

Answer 2

People are pretentious when they do things that make me think they're pretending to be something they're not.

Example: Naming a child, especially a daughter, Carrington or some other obvious surname that is popularly associated with wealth or 'sounds classy,' when there are no Carringtons in the family at all. It's purely imitation of rich families in the South who name their girls for rich relatives.

Example: throwing a party at a ranch style house and setting the table with six pieces of silverware and two different size wine goblets, as if your guests didn't also live a casual lifestyle and were expected to know what to do with a demitasse spoon. Yuck.

Example: having a wedding at a rent-a-mansion and requiring white tie attire. Come on ... even black tie is pushing it. Get over yourself! Okay you got me ranting!

Answer 3

Obama's speech in Germany was pretentious, meaning having the pretense of being something other than what it is. Usually this behavior shows up as immature (but not necessarily childish.) Other times it shows up as pretending to a position of prominence--Obama's problem.

He was not pretentious in any other part of his European journey, except where he put down 2 journalists (at different times for different reasons,) and where he refused time after time to explain his beliefs about the success in Iraq, and...and...and...

Don't get me wrong. I think Obama is the most articulate politician of our age--when he wants to be; and the most obfuscative when he wants to be; whereas McCain is probably the most pedestrian politician. But McCain is not pretentious.

Answer 4

As you say it's entirely dependant on circumstances.

To me pretentiousness involves the pursuit of something purely to impress others.

For example it would not be pretentious for someone to learn French and read a French newspaper, even in public, simply for the love of the language or of French culture.

It would be pretentious if they did these things with the intention of being seen to be reading a French newspaper so that others might be impressed.

I think that it can sometimes be hard to spot the difference but , perhaps, the non-pretentious person would be more likely to honestly discuss their limitations and failings while actually being more accomplished than a pretentious person would claim to be. After all, the pretentious person is out to impress  and the person doing something for the love of it has nothing to prove.