Descriptions and Cliches?? 10pts best answer!!

Question

Im trying to shy away from using descriptions such as these in the story im currently woking on,but for some reason I cant come up with anything less cliche.

vague cliches l've used so far

'solitary tear',

'haunting words',

'urge to scream',

'past memories overwhelmed her',

'racked with sobs'

In what other ways can I convey real emotion and anguish for an emotional scene describing someones reaction towards a death in the family?? without sounding cliche?? Examples and Ideas are welcomed. Please and thankyou!

Answer 1

The best tip I can give that works everytime for me is to pretend you're in the situation and describe how you feel. Your description could be totally crazy and unconventional, but ultimately it'll be original and it'll sound perfect.

(:

Good luck.

Answer 2

I am not a brilliant writer, but I will try!!!!

"Salty tears ran down her face because the pain was unnatainable"

"Blank eyes stared into her, and she stood frozen as if the world had stopped"

"a lump in her throught formed, and the tears came down faster then ever before"

"silence was all she heard. It was to hard to say something because death was clouding her thoughts, focusing on breathing was hard enogh"

well i hope those help!

Answer 3

The air in the room turned cold , trees scraped against the window , scratching away at our sorrow. the wind howled  mournfully, hot tears scalded hands folded in prayer cluthcing prayer beads,death's weighty presence filled the room funereal music filled my ears, the pain of knowing had broken her heart, broken glimpses of the past flashed by, death is not proud, it is distant, aloof, beyond understanding.  

Answer 4

Use an original simile like;

Words so cold and weightless, hung in the air like ghosts.

or

use a metaphor for a tear, like;

Salty rain came not from the sky but her(his) glassy eyes.

Answer 5

pursed her lips against a black rose