Destination Wedding?

Question

I want to getting married on the beach, (see link 1 below) but my boyfriend's family refuses to travel (they're mostly elderly) and he has a LOT of family to accommodate. My family is much, much smaller. Would it be ridiculous to have a wedding in our hometown (for both families) and have a wedding ceremony on the beach as well? I want my pictures to be of the ceremony in front of the water and standing on the sand. I was thinking a wedding in town for the whole big family, and then a smaller, more intimate ceremony in the Bahamas with just a few friends and family members....

I know it will be expensive, but I feel it's a good compromise. He really wants ALL of his family to be there, and it's been a dream of mine to get married on the beach since I was a little girl....

Have you ever heard of someone doing this?

Answer 1

Do the at home wedding and then do a beach ceremony and photographer on your honeymoon.  Only one has to be legal and no one but the two of you need to know which.

Sandals resorts does a wedding moon where if you stay 6+ nights you get a free wedding on the beach (if you are not already married)

Answer 2

Should be ok. But you should try to suit your family's needs, when looking at the venue of the wedding.

I got married in Feb 2008, mine was pretty simple and nice. By the way, I have only known my hubby for 1 yr 3 months 26 days.(since first encounter until now)

I had only one wedding gown. I paid for all the wedding expenses, so my last drawn salary of S$1300 pay(only) as a shipping clerk per month was spent mostly on our wedding, held with the Singapore Hokkien Huey Kuen, on the large framed up picture with a bridal shop(which has shifted), on the 2 sets of wardrobe done, and all other expenses. Total, I think I spent close to S$8,000.

Answer 3

We had a destination "renewal", which was originally our wedding date to begin with.

My husband's family didn't want to attend (for various, many selfish reasons: can't afford it even though we paid for it, afraid of flying or water: even though they go to the beach/fly to see distance relatives, to saying they can't get off work: even though they have about a year and half before the original wedding date) our Maui wedding set for Feb of 2008.

After many disappointments from both, mainly his family, we eloped to Vegas in Feb of 2007 prior to him going to Iraq the second time a few months later while we celebrated his birthday in Vegas.  Only my mom, my brother n his wife attended.   hubby's younger sis was too young to attend and only she knew about it. Even my own family didn't til we got there. A side note, we got so upset over everyone's re actions to how we wanted our wedding (cake to dresses), we just figured to not say anything.  We was going to have a reception, but when we told everyone of a BBQ...next thing I know, everyone wanted to "Combine" it with birthday celebrations etc. So, that hurt us how they treated us. But....family is family...so we "let it slide" after awhile.

While he was in Iraq, only his mom truely hurt him and he never forgave her til this day. That is besides the point.

We still wanted to go to Maui. So, we thought we would combine our annivers, honeymoon and vacation (two Iraq's back to back..) all into one.

Still....the only one who wanted to come to the wedding was his younger sister (who was 14, so we paid her way).  Other than that, it was my mom and step dad........

However, it was a blast and had a lot of fun. I would of loved to have bride'smaids, flower girls and a reception.

But I settled for who cared the most and a fun great time at a Luau having a blast with my 14 year old sis in law on the beach.

So hun, I understand how families can become a hardship in a choice and decision. I understand our families might be abit different, but there is a time where they should just let the two couples do what they want in their dreams and to hold for future memories.

My husband said to me when I cried that no one wanted to come when all we done was support them. We planned this from day one with almost 2 year's notice. If they can not deal with it and be there to support, then he will hope one day they will. Until then, it is what we want in our memories. Not settle for something someone else wants. Especially if both events was paid for by us.

Maybe you can have a private small wedding on a beach and them hold the reception at home?

Answer 4

Well, I think you should go for it. You have a right to choose where you want to go. The beach is sooo romantic!  

Answer 5

Yes. Go for it.

Answer 6

You only get ONE wedding. the second one will be a re-do (tackY and not a wedding because you are alreday married. No need to put up a show for different people, it's not only crass,but also it can come across as gift-grabbiesh. Uggh

Have the wedding where the mayority of people can go and then gp to the Bahamas for the honeymoon.

Good luck

Answer 7

Just going off what I have read on this board... some do destination weddings, then have a reception back home. I dont know what the etiquette police have to say about it but heres my two cents: Wherever you have the actual ceremony, you should think of as your "wedding", in your case at the beach. Then if you throw a party at home, let it just be a celebration/reception... dont do the whole fake ceremony a second or third time. And limit it to just family, maybe a few close friends, otherwise it looks like you want a bunch of presents. I think that would be acceptable.