Diamond Engagement Rings?

Question

Ok, so my fiance and I were watching Blood Diamond earlier tonight (not the first time we have seen it). When the movie finished I looked down at my engagement ring and had the urge to rip it off my finger and throw it away. Before I could act on my impulse my fiance covered my hand with his and told me it was a conflict free diamond. He went on to explain that he knew what my feelings would be when I saw documentaries and movies about blood diamonds. I still feel uneasy about it though. This is not the first time we have had this conversation, and he knows it wont be the last.

So here are my questions.

Is your diamond conflict free?

Does it matter to you and your fiance if it is or not?

If it is conflict free, do you still feel uneasy about your diamond?

Answer 1

also have to agree with the first answer, i love it no matter what b/c my fiance gave it to me, with a very special meaning behind it and i could careless about anything else about it!!

Answer 2

I am not sure if it is or isn't .  It was bought 40 years ago.  

It would matter to me very much.   I would keep the one I have since I was unaware of it when I accepted it.

But I would not buy anymore. Actually the only other jewelry I have is a cross that my husband bought for me 22 years ago.  I am not that into jewelry.

Answer 3

Aren't you fortunate!  Your fiance sounds like a wonderful partner. He recognizes and shares your concern to not knowingly contribute to misery and greed in the world.

As far as I'm concerned, you can and should wear your ring proudly. It's a symbol not only of his love and committment to you, but now you understand that it is also a symbol of your shared values and commitments as a couple.

At most weddings, the officiant will say something to the effect that the vows and the celebration of marriage are not just between two people but are a public welcoming of the new couple into community where they will, through their partnership and actions have profound impacts on the community as a whole.

Here's a guy who spent extra time and more money to present you with a ring you could wear in good faith. don't look at *your* diamond as a symbol of conflict--but rather as a symbol of awareness, enlightenment and the potential for long-term change.

Since the movie and issue of Blood Diamonds really hit a cord with you, perhaps you & your fiance could research to find a not-for-profit organization working on help and solutions.  

Sit down with your wedding budget, find ways to economize and send the difference as a donation to support their work.  A gesture such as that would be much more meaningful than not wearing a beautiful ring presented in love.

Keep in mind that diamonds are just one, recently publicized, example of greed trumping basic human dignity and rights. It gets very complicated very quickly.

For example, did you know that the chips and components that enable you to have a fast affordable computer are made with a mineral mined primarily in Africa? Control and operation of the primary mines has sparked terrible atrocities in Rwanda and Namibia. Should we all turn off and turn in our computers? But then how would we manage even a tenth of the communications, sharing and learning that computers enable? It's a tricky issue....

Wear your ring and enjoy its beauty. Every sale of a "conflict free" diamond demonstrates to the retailers that there is a market for this product and that consumers are becoming better educated. Your fiance's actions not only put a beautiful ring on your finger, it sent an economic and social message to the companies bottom line accounting.

Hope this helps. Happy future to you & your guy.

Rev

Answer 4

Like many posters on here, I don't know and I don't care.

I see many thumbs down for the people who have expressed the same feelings, which is fine.  An engagement ring is given out of love and unless one was truly adamant about the issue prior and aware of it, is it really going to matter to you now?  Would you truly give up that symbol of love and promise that your husband/fiance gave you because of this?  I highly doubt it.

If it's such a concern, then think about it this way--that money spent on buying that engagement ring really should've gone to charity instead....oh wait, but he used the money to buy a symbol of love--wouldn't that be wrong too then????  It's all relative.

Answer 5

I don't know and don't care. I accept the ring in the spirit which it was offered, with love.

Answer 6

I've never known the place of origin of ANY of my diamonds.  Guess I'm shallow but I really enjoy diamonds and will continue to buy them.

Answer 7

Diamonds sold currently by reputable jewelers are conflict free.  There is something called the Kimberly Process in place today to assure it.   Read up on the Kimberly Process and you will see that there is no reason to be concerned.

Answer 8

I agree with a lot of things being said on here. This is obviously something people feel strongly about - for good reason.

My thought would be this: many of us already have engagement rings that were purchased with nothing but love and the greatest of intentions in mind. For us I feel there is nothing wrong with cherishing those rings, no matter how they may have been obtained (there is nothing we can do about it now, unfortunately!).

But in the future, I think it would behoove all of us to ensure that the products we are buying are not at the expense of a human life. By simply mentioning that having a conflict-free diamond is important to you, it will be easy for many boyfriends (and girlfriends) out there to purchase something you can both feel good about.

I also agree with several of the posters who have suggested doing things in your own neighborhood to help the world - we cannot solve all the world's problems in one day. But if we all do a little, right where we are, than that love and compassion will spread farther than you could ever imagine.

Congratulations by the way!!

Answer 9

Yes, my diamond's conflict-free (I insisted on that).  It definitely matters to me- I can't bear to think of people dying over something that sits on my hand.  Of course, when it comes to purchasing a conflict-free diamond, there are less-than-reputable jewelers who will try to tell you it's conflict-free when in fact they're not even sure of that themselves.  You just have to rely on finding a trustworthy jeweler and hope they're telling you the truth.  Also, it should come with some sort of certification papers to prove it's not from an African mine.

Answer 10

yes mine is and came with a certification of its origin

it matters to me that it came from a regular palce with regularly paid workers, no one is being treated unfairly or dying over them

i still wonder sometimes if that paper if for real but its already bought and paid for at this point.

Answer 11

I made sure when I picked out my ring that I can get a different gemstone put it in. I have never been a fan of diamonds and thus will not have them in either of my rings. If you are really concerned you could always get the gem switched to a different kind. Im getting tanzinite in mine.

Answer 12

Yes, my diamond is absolutely conflict free.  My fiance knows me better than to get me a blood diamond.

Yes, it matters a lot.  An engagement ring is a symbol of love and committment.  I don't want that symbol from the man I love to support or be a part of the blood diamond culture.  In my opinion, it would destroy the meaning of the ring.

No, my fiance did a great deal of research before purchasing my diamond.  I am positive that no one died for my diamond, so my mind is at ease.

Answer 13

Mine are, but it really wouldn't bother me otherwise.

It's not my fight, it's not the hill I want to die on.

There are horrid things going on throughout the world - look in your backyard first before letting things bother you from the other side of the world.... like helping out at a soup kitchen, or food bank.

Answer 14

Well if you think your diamond is going to bother too much what you can do is go to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas and try to find a diamond there and donate your current diamond to a cause that may help. That way you know your diamond is conflict free for sure.

Answer 15

i also agree with the people above my fiance gave it to me out of LOVE (his way of showing how much he loves me) and that is all that matters to me.

Answer 16

This is part of history , A part of a pass down family thing . Accept it with great honor from the person who gives it to you with love . It shall mean more to the person who gives it to you  and as you are to carry on the tradition . as  it  is all it is .. One day you will be the giver to the one who will follow in tradition... It should be the memory that is of importance .. Teach your children family traditions to respect.. these.

Answer 17

I agree with the person above

Answer 18

Yes, mine is conflict free. Both my husband and I were very aware of the abuse going on in African mines. We actually got engaged while on vacation in Canada,and he got the ring there, so I don't feel too bad. Canada has very stringent laws about diamond imports, and my ring is Canadian diamond.

I sometimes feel uneasy because I supported the diamond industry instead of getting another stone, but there's abuse going on in most gem mines and in gold mines and you can't stop them all.

Answer 19

It probably isn't and no it doesn't matter to me.

If we are going to get technical with all of the "save the world, be fair to humans" talk then technically the money you used for your diamond ring could have went towards feeding an entire community of starving, third world citizens.  The money all of us in this question spent on diamond rings could have fed an entire country.  But it isn't.

Why?

Because its all relative.

Answer 20

This is a really interesting question, certainly made me think! (Well, Im supposed to be working but needed a distraction!)

I dont know if my diamonds (I have 1 in engagement ring and 10 in wedding band) are conflict free. I was unaware of the blood diamond problem until watching the film earlier this year.

However, it doesnt change the fact that my husband bought me my jewellery with only love in mind and nothing can take away from that

Since watching the film, Im more educated on diamonds and jewellery but would NEVER give up what I have :)

xx