On the day of the wedding, Di was getting dressed, surrounded by all
her family, and she suddenly realised she'd forgotten to get any
shoes.
Panic.
Then her sister remembered that she had a pair of white shoes from her
wedding so she lent them to Di for the day. Unfortunately they were a
bit too small and by the time the festivities were over Di's feet were
agony. When she and Charlie withdrew to their room the only thing she
could think of was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and
they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and
the occasional muffled scream. Eventually they heard Charlie say,
"God, that was tight."
"There," whispered the Queen, "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they heard Charlie say, "Right. Now for the
other one," followed by more grunting and straining and at last
Charlie said, "My God. That was even tighter."
"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
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