Dictative Parents?

Question

My daughter & I are teaching a class of 5-8 years olds at church. We have noticed that some of the parents won't allow their child to color or make crafts on their own. It's really sad. They pick out the correct colors for them to color with, they won't even let them put glue on paper unless it's done neatly. One kid was being unique and my daughter told him what a good job he was doing, and the parents said, "No, that's not how you do it". What is wrong with parents that won't let children be a little sloppy or make a mistake now and then?

Answer 1

Those are the kids who will grow up rebelling against their controlling parents and feeling as they were never good enough for them. Parents like that who try and make their kids perfect end up hurting their self esteem and making them feel inadequate no matter what they do. Those poor kids will pay the price and the parents will be sad when they have no relationship with their adult children because of it.

Answer 2

I wonder if there's a gentle way to remind them that creative activities are just that: creative.  Meaning that the children can't do something wrong.  Yeah, it's messy and unpredictable, but it's THEIR expression, not their parents.  Plus, being allowed to develop creativity isn't just for crafty projects in Sunday School; people with a good sense of creativity are usually better at problem solving in other areas of life, they are able to come up with solutions that others with a more limited mindset might not think of.  Most of the most successful and influential people throughout history have been creative thinkers, not people who lived in a box.  We would not have any of the things we use daily, any of the great inventions or any of the medicine that helps us without the creative process.

The parents should save their need to be corrective for skills that don't require as much creative energy, like learning house cleaning skills.  (Although the most creative person in our house is also the best one at loading the dishwasher and organizing closets.)  Answering this questions makes me think:  is there really any area or skill in human society that doesn't benefit from being creative?

Try to remind the parents that it's the child's time to just play and experimentation is part of the learning process.  Kids need to learn from verbal lessons and correction, but so much of what they figure out is just that--figuring things out, which means trial and error and trying out new ideas.  I feel sorry for some of those parents; it's likely at least some of them experienced the same kind of control in their childhoods.  What a shame!

Answer 3

that's so sad! part of growing up and "finding yourself" is making "mistakes" (which in this case, i think we should come up with a new word). art is a wonderful way of expressing oneself and should be encouraged...how in the world can you "do it wrong"?

Answer 4

those are the same parents who push their kids in sports beyond the point of reason. some parents get caught up in the idea of the perfect child. this child being the best at everything they do. from colouring  to reading to sports.

now some of these parents are ignorant asses. and some are just first timers who really don't know any better.  

all first time parents are a little up tight and feel they need to prove that they have what it takes to be a good parent { i know i did. 2 boys later well lets just say I've relaxed}

so i would suggest talking to these parents a little and find out a little more about them. if they are first timers try to help them relax. if they are the up tight asses suggest that crafts are for the kids and the parents should do something else..

Answer 5

Wow, how sad for those poor kids!!!!!!!!!!   How anal can ya get??

I'm so the opposite.  I love to give my daughter messy foods and let her just go to town!!  lol!  And we really enjoy just being silly and dancing all the time.  Stifling creativity is messed up.  Ha ha I even plan on allowing our daughter to dress herself when she's a bit older!  It'll be so funny to see her combinations!

Answer 6

i had the same problem but the parents refused to stay out.

so simple:  i took away all the green crayons and gave them pictures of trees and grass to colour.

left only pink, purple, and orange crayons and gave them pictures of apples to colour.

told them today's flowers were grown on the planet Beetlejuice and look like nothing on Earth.

gave them blank paper and said that visiting diplomats from Saturn want to see a menu but they can't eat anything found at MacDonald's.

told them to invent a machine that could travel through time AND fold underwear.

gave them glue bottle where the hole was HUGE but took away the popsicle sticks, etc, so the only option was to dump it on the paper and spread it with their fingers.

gave the parents their own set of colouring and crafts - a lot of them never had the opportunity to do this stuff when they were little or they were enjoying the regression to a simpler time when they didn't have to worry about the bills and such.

funny thing:  enough of this and some of the parents left on their own.  i told them to go make coffee.

Answer 7

Those are the same parents who buy their kids Halloween costumes instead of helping the kid make up a real crazy looking one.

Answer 8

Wow ban them from the room or something. Kids need to be sloppy to learn. Parents should back off a bit.

Parents like these are the reasons that we have kids who go out to randomly have s*x, do drugs and drink. They do it because their parents say no. They do it to rebel.

Answer 9

Thats sounds so annoying and frustrating!! BAN THE PARENTS!! They are old enough to do it by themselves. Maybe do a nesletter to the parents saying that you are encouraging independance and creativity and want to check out the results of the childrens own unassisted work or something. I would say kids only x

Answer 10

You should ban the parents from the class, make them wait in the hall, perhaps offer tea and coffee, as an excuse for them to stay there, tell them hot beverages are a safety hazard to the children.

    Congratulations for allowing the children to express themselves. These parents are competing against the other parents.

    Perhaps before your next lesson you hold a short meeting with the parents explaining the importance of the children being able to express themselves and the need for them ( as parents ) to allow this.

Answer 11

They are control freaks who usually think back to the way they behaved and no way is their child going to be like that~~