Did Any of you see this question?

Question

There was a question asked on here a few hours ago that said "Do you think that women who have not had children have not explored all aspects of womanhood?" A lot of people answered yes. But I find that a bit offensive. What about women like my sister who can't have kids no matter how hard she tires to get pregnant? Does that make her less of a woman because she can't be a mother? She went on to say motherhood is not valued as it should be. How dare she make that assumption about women who have not had children. Please tell me everyone here does not agree with her?

Ok I will admit that I am not from the USA and have only been here for two days. But it Romania we don't determine the value of a woman feeling like a woman by if she has had kids or not.

Answer 1

A lot of women chose not to have kids due to the costs......it's well over $150,000 by the time they are through school...primary school!

Also.....1 in 8 women are L*****n....so they chose not to have kids due to another preference......having kids has no bearing on how one can experience being a woman.

Answer 2

The female body was created to produce offspring. So I would say that she was missing out on the 9 month bond with a child, but she is still as human as the rest of us.

Answer 3

I am a mother and I disagree with the statement that women who have not had children are less of a woman.  I do think that sometimes being a mother (or father!) is undervalued- although not devalued.  

I think there are some women who do value themselves by their children, and see being a mother as their entire identity... it is sad, I think.  I was a woman before I had my daughter, and I will still be a woman when she leaves.  Being a mother does not make me a better person than everyone else, nor does it make me a worse one.

* As to the "squeezing out" comment- neither did I- I had a c-section, and some have tried to make me feel that I 'failed' or that I should not use the term "give birth".  I have heard others devalue parents who adopt for similar reasons...  There are crazies out there- I try to ignore them when they say hurtful things.  Peace.

Answer 4

I find that offensive as well. I'm a 36 year old with no children, while I was married we tried for 2 years to get pregnant without success.

I'm tired of being made to feel as though I am selfish for being childless, when it's not really a choice anymore. I appreciate that women find motherhood fulfilling, but it looks like I won't have that chance due to how my body works (or doesn't in that capacity). It doesn't make me less of a woman, and it doesn't mean I don't value those who have children.

I just wish I had some value too. Why do I have to procreate to be valued as a woman?

Answer 5

There is a trend toward more single and/or unmarried households in the U.S.

Additionally, it's becoming more common for individuals and couples to be child free by choice and though I'm sure the women who have had kids are sincere when they tell you it's an aspect that needs to be explored, by societal standards it's perfectly O.K. not to have children.

Answer 6

I said yes.

Obviously a woman who has not had children has not explored all aspects of being a woman. This is just a fact.

I certainly didn't mean such a woman is any 'less' of a woman.

If that was the asker's intention then she didn't phrase her question very well.

Edit

Jose has a good answer.

Answer 7

What they mean is that if you have no children you don't know what being a mother feels like.

It does not mean that they are not  women, it just means that they haven't explored that part of being a woman...not that they are not women -_-.

Or do women who have no children, know EXACTLY(have experienced) how does it feel to be one?

It's not to offend, it's just reality...should we answer yes so that you feel not offended?...

It's not the value of the woman is the EXPERIENCE of being a mother....it doesn't have anything to do D:

I am a boy who has not experienced the feeling of being a father...so what?

Answer 8

im believe your right , just because woman dont have child can't be a mother... many woman , out there is a lot of child  but they dont know how to be a mother , and many woman  out there .with out child but they can act like a good  mother . ...  i believe   womanhood is not  measure by having a kids .

Answer 9

She probably didn't include women with fertility problems in those ranks; she meant women who are childfree because they wanted to be. Still, it was an offensive question. I'm not having kids because I have more important aspects of life to explore.

Answer 10

You make a very good point.  I did not answer the question, but am more than happy to answer yours.

Same thing happens sometimes to men, we get judged, usually by other men, and a few women, for not being fathers.  There are the claims that we are missing out, suggestions that we may be infertile, same sort of stuff really..

Parenthood, especially motherhood is exulted, put on a pedestal and honoured as the ultimate expression of womanhood, but I disagree.  Being in my mid-30's and having female friends with and without children, there is a certain obvious sense of superiority in the mothers (when they are not too stressed out with aspects of motherhood of course.  In a sense it is an attempt to justify the decisions they made by having children: not a bad decision, of course, but not for some women, by their own choice.

As you say it also is an insult to those women who cannot have children.

Answer 11

I really do not think the questioner thought of that scenario (although she should have). The questioner probably just had fertile women in mind for that question. Particularly, fertile women who DECIDE not to ever have children.

The questioner does not think women such as your sister are less of a woman.

p.s.  Your English is much better than many Americans that are BORN in the US. I appreciate your proficiency in my native tongue.

Answer 12

I did see the question.I don't agree with it.  she did also say that motherhood is devalued, which i do agree with.  I think that was more her point, i don't think she meant to offend us childless women.  I think it is sad that she feels the way she does and i think there are many ways to be a woman, there is no patent, no license.  We explore what we can, motherhood is one aspect of womanhood.

Answer 13

I believe I did see that question; womanhood is not always/should not be based upon how many kids a woman can shove out.  I don't believe it ever was.  I was doing my family tree and some of my ancestors had only one to two kids.

Answer 14

Again I say, no one ever accused humans of being geniuses. "Womanhood" does not mean getting pregnant. The people who said yes to that question are morons. Yes they do exist, sad but true.

Answer 15

I find it very offensive when people say that. I have two cousins who physically can't have children. They're still women.

Answer 16

Yes i think that is offensive. I don't plan on having any children, and as for women who physically cant have any children, NO WAY are we less of a woman. Sure we might not squeeze anything out of our Vjayjay, but we still experience life as a woman, being born a woman, and thinking and feeling as one.

I think sometimes people try to validate why it is they had kids to other people, or they like to put them down because they are jealous of their amount of free time.

Being from the USA doesn't matter, but it might mean you are a bit smarter that you aren't!

Answer 17

I love kids.  I love my mother.  I love my grandmother. But to be frank, motherhood is overrated (for all the reasons you've already mentioned.)

Motherhood is challenging and often romanticized.  Let me leave it at that.

Answer 18

Child rearing is a personnel decision that I nor anyone else  have any right to intrude upon(unless it is their DNA material used to create said child).

    People more often than not stick there nose where it doesn't belong.