Did I ask to be GANG-RAPED?

Question

A few years ago (I'm now 25) I moved to a urban city after college. I didn't know anyone, and quickly befriended this 'fraternity' guy from a popular university. I really had a crush on him. Well, he invited me to his house and we had s*x and he asked if I would do a threesome. Because I was so gullable and eager to have a guy friend---I agreed. Well, a week later he told me to meet at his frat brothers house where the threesome would happen. And I admit---I was naive and stupid to agree. Well, I had a few drinks and an ecstasy pill (it was my choice to try x) and the guy I had already had s*x with told me to undress and him and the 'one' guy would come in the room. Well, 4 guys ended up coming in. They were all frat brothers. I was so NERVOUS and scared shitless that I just started panicking, telling them I wasn't down for that. But they wouldn't leave and my crush told me to shut-up. So they ALL had s*x/oral s*x with me for hours...and another girl joined later. I never said anything

Answer 1

No, you did not ask to be gang-raped. Anyone who says otherwise is extremely ignorant to the realities of sexual violence. I cannot articulate either how horrible it is that this happened or how sorry I am that it happened to you.

I must say, though, that I differ from some of your supporters here in advising legal action. Instead, I suggest getting involved in a political group that supports your cause. Realistically, the courts (and general society) are extremely skeptical of women who are victims of sexual violence. It's not cool, it's not fair, it's a huge problem, but that's the way it is right now. A woman who goes to a friend's house and ends up experiencing unexpected rape is rarely given judicial favor. You've already acknowledged the poor decisions you made leading up to the event... a defense lawyer would exploit the h**l out of that. You and I and many people of intelligence understand that you were a victim, but the system is not set up to rule in your favor.

By joining a political group instead, you can meet many women who've been through what you're going through, and together you can work towards changing society's attitude about victims of sexual violence. Once society changes and understands what happened to you the way that we do, then the courts will have a chance of improving. Until then, stay healthy and do whatever you need to do to process through your trauma.

Answer 2

M'aaaaaaam, when you treat yourself like **** your asking for it all. If you want to treat yourself like a prostitute without pay and have s*x with whoever, yes your asking them to Gang Rape you. You need to see a professional.

Legally, get a lawyer, but I'm pretty sure it was too long ago by now.

Answer 3

YOU.... should have reported THIS HEINOUS ACT... to the POLICE....!

DO IT TODAY......Even though the Act is PAST!

Thanks, RR

Answer 4

You had bad luck. The guy you knew was a pervert and a stupid.

Answer 5

No You did Not ask to be Gang raped you agreed to a threesome Not 4 or more.I do suggest not Ever doing a threesome again,There is alot of diseases out there and you should not have s*x with someone to have them Like you more.

Answer 6

Technically it couldn't be rape without your consent. You made some silly moves and how long did you know this guy before having s*x with him? This must have been a really horrible experience and I hope you find some better 'friends' next time.

Answer 7

tI'm sorry to hear about this experience - it must have been frightening for you.  When we try new things, we often find that we are out of our depth.  Instead of retreating, we remain, because we want to prove to ourselves that we can swim and not sink.  Sometimes however, we sink.  When we sink, it can feel horrible, but I believe that these experiences ultimately help us, as they are life's teachers.  We always walk away knowing a bit more about the world, people and ourselves.  We cannot change the past.  We can decide how we move forward.  When I sink, I always choose to recognize the lessons, and move forward with the knowledge that I am now wiser and stronger, and better prepared to achieve what I want in life.  Remember - how you move forward, and your feelings that you run with going forward - is always a choice.  Recognize this, and choose feelings, ideas and a way of travel that will empower you rather than hinder you.  There is a whole world of good things out there waiting for you.  Choose it.  I wish you all the best, and all the warmth my heart can muster for you.  If you want someone to talk to, my addy is [e-mail]

Answer 8

wait whats your question??? lol jk. Well u did!! cuz u fell for it!!! nvr fall for that!!! I hope ur kk!!!

Answer 9

There's no such thing as asking to be raped don't let anyone tell you that.

Yes you made some pretty silly moves leading up to this but you said no, and by the sounds of it the following things that happened you done them out of fear.

You should tell someone about this experience and get help you may want to inform the police.

Answer 10

NO. you NEVER asked to be gang-raped. i would suggest you report the b*****d who did this, but becuase it was so long ago, you have no evidence. i am so sorry that this happened to you! what an awful experience. however, you should have said something, especially if you didnt want it to happen.