Did I direct my 8 year old daughter wrong?

Question

My daughter wants to be with friends all the time. And her school mates only come over sometime and never really have her over much, if at all. We just moved here about 7 months ago. She becomes upset and says that she has no friends, although she is very well liked.

I told her that she is just ahead of the other kids. She can be very mature. She needs deodorant. She is developing. And she is VERY social orientated. I told her that these are all things that teenagers will get into and so she is just abit ahead. But that the other girls will get there and when she is a teenager her friends will want to be as involved as she is.

Did I direct her wrong?

Answer 1

My child is the same way. Let her have her friends over as much as possible. She needs this. She may be well liked, but in her mind she feels like she's on the "outs" with her classmates. She may not be as popular here as she was in the old school and it hurts. I went through this when I was her age and now my child is going through this. Try to get her involved in an after school activity so she can make friends. Best wishes, I know how hard it is to see your child hurt.

BTW.... does she talk about all this at bedtime? My child always did and I realized it was just a lure to stay up later.

Answer 2

You did fine. It's not easy growing up in the world today. Keep up the good work.

Answer 3

No, you did good.

Answer 4

So shes entering the awkward teenage phase more than a tad early, and her precocious nature is making it difficult for her fit in with her peers, right?  

This would have been an opportune time to talk to her about self-acceptance, and finding validation from the inside. I know this is a cliche. However, what you did was tell her, or rather, what this 8 year old heard was that, some magical day, all these people will be like her, and then she'll find acceptance. Could happen. Most likely wont, and she could end up with years of low self esteem and fear of rejection.

Build her self esteem, find her something to do with positive, like-minded children, or something to do alone that gratifies her in an intellectual and creative manner. Just don't leave this as is, or its a missed opportunity for growth and character building. This is why we have youth sports and all that cheesy c**p.

Answer 5

i don`t think so.  you did a great job.

Answer 6

Two thumbs up! It is hard at that age when you mature faster then the other kids, you did right by you daughter.

Answer 7

Idont think so.your step was right

Answer 8

No, she's not ahead of the other kids, she's just interested in different things.

You don't do kids any favours at all telling them that they're "ahead" just because they're growing b*****s early. It's totally random. Maybe all her friends will turn into little clones of her in a couple of years, maybe they won't. Who knows. Regardless, it doesn't make her "ahead" of them.

She's eight. I think it's dreadful to tell an eight year old that she's becoming a teenager early. Let her be a little girl!

Answer 9

im pretty sure u did great!