Did I do the right thing or better yet, what should I do next?

Question

My son who is a good boy, never any fights, very respectable, perhaps even a bit of a nerd was attacked with a pair of scissors on Friday. Let me just say that he was not hurt. He is in middle school and a bully came up to his table and started making fun of him. He responded with the usual "get the h*ll out of here" and the kid responded with "F*ck you,b*tch, I could slit your throat right here right now. My son who I have told to never really make things worse, just said, whatever and the kid grabbed the scissors (they were making oragami) and pulled his head back and put the scissors up t his neck. The scissors were placed so hard, a red mark appeared. My son threw him off and the kid laughed and went back to his seat. The teacher of course saw nothing, but it shool up my son pretty bad. He went to the teacher after class and she took him to the office. They called me and told me what happened. They said not to worry, they would deal with the incident but couldnt go into detail with

Answer 1

Make a police report.

The school has to disclose information about your own child, they don't have a right to confidentiality about others' children. That's ridiculous.

Answer 2

This is too serious to ignore. Your child could be in danger. I would keep him home until the school took action. I do believe I would file a report with the police just in case. This other child needs some serious help. Until he gets it I would be more interested in safeguarding my own child.

Answer 3

i would call the principal at that school and ask him what they are doing for the saftey of you son.  if he can not give you an answer that suits you i would call the police and let them know what happened if your school will not give you the information they will have to give it to the police.  other than that if your son still does not feel safe at school i would look in to other options such as home schooling, cyper classes, or just moving him into another school.

Answer 4

I would go and file a report. Get it documented!! That shouldn't be happening.

Answer 5

In view of the fact that so much violence is occurring in school, and not knowing the mental stability of that bully, I would say that you should contact DDS about the bully.  It should be documented somewhere the threat that child made on anothers' life.  That is not normal and indicates trouble in that childs life.  That child needs help. NOW.  Good luck keeping your child safe.

Answer 6

I would file a police report, contact that other kids parents, and if it doesn't get better remove your kid from that school. It doesn't sound like they are doing enough, I was a target of bullies at school when I was younger, I now deal with depression and other emotional problems. Also, if the school doesn't handle it in a proper way, get a lawyer and sue, they'll do something then.

Answer 7

Your son was assaulted, you should absolutely call the police and press charges.  You said middle school, so he should be of age to be charged as a young offender.  I would demand to know how the school handled the situation, and threaten to sue them for negligence!

Let your son stay home from school.  Is it possible to transfer him to a different school?

Answer 8

You've gotten lots of good advice so far.  I am a recently retired teacher and a former principal.  For all the people who say the school should expel the bully, handle it, etc.  They SHOULD, but often CAN'T.  If the bully is a special needs student, there are many laws that protect his due process rights and, in the end, often keep him in school.  Supreme Court decisions in the 80's and earlier really tie the hands of school officials in those cases.

Absolutely, for sure, file a police report.  Oten the police will say they will let the school handle it, but at least it starts the legal paper trail.  And THAT can help the school in the long run.  If everyone this child threatens files a police report, eventually, something CAN be done.

And, I agree.  Go to the school Monday morning and demand o know what is being done.  That lets your child know you support  him and it lets the school know you're watching.

Answer 9

wow... that was too long to read. sorry.

Answer 10

If you don't watch out for your own, who will?  I would file a police report and raise He** at the next BOE meeting.  You also should find out what the school did to the bully.  Was he suspended?  In my district, this would have earned him an initial 10 day suspension, a psychiatric evaluation and possible out of district placement.  If he were allowed to return to school, he and his parent/guardian would have to have a manditory conference with the superintendent.  If this kid has been an ongoing problem, we may have even resorted to expulsion.  He didn't just call your son names and rough him up a bit, this bully threatened your son's life and had a weapon.  That makes this a different situation and takes it to the next level.  Go get 'em, mom.

Answer 11

I'm really sorry to hear that :(

I've been bullied, too & I understand what your son is going through.

First of all, you really need to stand by him & build up his confidence. Tell him he's loved by his family & that all bullies usually end up pretty bad when they grow up.

Give him examples of famous people who got bullied in school. This action always comes out of jelously or people who doesn't have caring parents at home.

You need to tell him you love him & always ask how his day one. Be there for him everytime anything like this happens so that he doesn't bottle it up & -God forbid- do something bad to himself later on.

Also, tell him how tough he is, and that you give him the green light to fight anyone who is trying to hurt him in school. Sometimes kids NEED that green light to have the courage from their parents. Teach him how to deal with his problems as soon as they happen. Even if he hit someone in school, that's nothing compaired to all the mental scares he will be avoiding.

Aslo, go to his school & talk to the dean/teachers about this in general. Tell them to act on it as soon as they see it. And talk to that boy's parents about what he did & threaten them to tell the police about it if it continues.

Trust me, this does happen everywhere and to alot of people & it has nothing to do with your son.

I  know how it feels & it's NOTHING & it's not a -slap on the wrist-situation.

May God protect your son from all of this.

Take care.

Answer 12

let him stay home from school if he is feeling unsafe because it will give him a chance to calm his nerves and stuff

Answer 13

File a police report, with the hope being that they will investigate it, and the bully will be forced to get some sort of therapy.

Answer 14

I would take this to the police and get their advice. The school can give you all the platitudes in the world but that's not going to stop this problem. If they're handling it, the police would likely be involved anyway. It's not too late to file the report. Call them and find out what you need to do. Good luck.

Answer 15

oh god, hun. i'm really sorry.

i go to high school, i'm a junior. and things like that happen all the time. it's so ridiculous how mean people can be, and have no respect.

when they say they'll "handle it", all they do is bring them into the office, talk to them, tell them they can't be doing things like that, and then maybe kick them out of school for a day or two. but if they haven't noticed, kids don't care if they're kicked out of school. infact- they like it. no school, how fun, right?

if i were you, i'd file a police report, and contact that child's parents.

even better, i'd try to switch my child's school. so hopefully things like that wouldn't happen.

the best of luck to you! <33

Answer 16

Thats mean to do to a kid, file a report!

Answer 17

keavit

Answer 18

I would go to the police.    Just being told not to worry would be a big concern for me.  How can you not worry!  This is  a little more than just an "incident".  At least with the police report and hopefully a little more then just being told "not to worry" something may be done to stop the bulling.  Good luck!

Answer 19

Bullies have to be confronted and stopped in their tracks.  Do not trust the school to do the right thing unless you have evidence that they have done so in other cases.

Answer 20

First off, you need to contact the dean's office or the principal and find out (if you don't have a copy of the code of conduct) what the school policies are regarding threats and use of weapons.  A lot of schools have a zero tolerance level for certain things.  I would definitely think that this would constitute a level of violence that needs to be addressed through the school counselors and dean, or whoever is in charge of discipline at the school.  

They may have structured policies that help them "deal" with these type of incidents, and should be able to go into details with you in regards to what they are.  Your son has obviously had his right to a safe learning environment violated and you have every right to answers and details.  Filing a report with the police department or at least calling them and discussing the situation with them, is a very good idea.  You will make sure that the incident is documented and authorities know what is going on.  Follow up Monday at the school by going there (with or without your son) and speaking with them in person.

Your son has the right to learn in school without being harrassed by other people.  Even if the other boy is special ed or whatever, it doesn't give him rights to threaten to attack someone with a weapon...and scissors are definitely a weapon...you can't take them on a plane because of terror issues..you shouldn't be able to use them against someone else at school!

Your son handled the situation admirably and you should be very proud of him.  You have taught him well!  Don't let this issue be swept under the rug without them letting you know all that is going on.  Good luck to you and best of luck dealing with this situation!

Answer 21

File a report! That boy should be OUT! If the school dont suspend him, TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION! If the police dont know take him there IMMEDIATLY!

Answer 22

I wouldn't trust the school system to do ANYTHING about this...call the police and send them to the boy's house..hopefully his parents will beat his @ss!

Answer 23

Be at the school first thing Monday morning! Tell them that they WILL go into detail with you, if not you will have the police come and they can go into detail with them!!!!Your child's safety is your first priority. scissors up to his neck, unbelievable! Something like this needs to be investigated.

Good luck to you.

Answer 24

Oh my goodness!!!!  I am so sorry that happened to your son.  Yes go and file that police report NOW!!!!!  Also contact the school district ASAP and get that child's parents involved.  It appears that the teacher just shrug it off!  Go over people's heads and please take care of that.  The teacher is not going to do anything at all.

May have to get counseling for your son; a pair of scissors was placed on your child's neck for god sakes!!

Good luck.

Answer 25

I would call the school and tell them that you want to know how they are handling it. They always try to not tell parents what is happening but you have every right to know. Tell them that your son is afraid and does not want to go back to school. Then tell them that for you to feel safe sending him back you need to know how they are handling it. Usually when they do not want to tell you how they are handling it the reason is that they are not handling it in a way you would find good enough. Tell them that you are considering filing a report with the police department and need to know how they are taking care of it so you can decide if you should file a report. They have to also deal with the other kid's parents who will not want their kid punished. It is easier for them to not tell you anything and not have to deal with you again. I would not let them off that easily. You need to be sure that your child is safe and you have every right to know what they are doing to ensure that. If they are not handling it to your satisfaction I would call the police. The school is limited in what they can do without the police getting involved. If your child has had that many problems at that school you may consider changing schools. You have to think about if your child is really safe there.

Good Luck, schools can be very scary these days.

Answer 26

file a police report because its assult technically. i work at an elementary school adn if a child gets hurt or threatened or anything by another student we call both parents and let them know what happened and the parenent of the innocent child kinda like you we tell them the other kid got suspended or whatever his punishment was.

Answer 27

You can still file a report I would call the police and check without taking it through the school first. These children doing this stuff need to realize their behavior is very sick and not acceptable. I would then let the school know that I have filed a police report and that they had better take every step they can to assure me the safety of my child and I would call the Superintendent to see if they are aware of what has happened. Sometimes the principal will try to keep it quiet and handled on their side without involving the school board and/or Superintendent. Your poor son, I would be throwing a fit so loud that the whole town could hear me! And if I thought my kid was being further attacked by other bullies I would round up the whole gangs parents in a meeting at the school and inform them that you take this very seriously and if anyone threatens your son that the school will not be the only one's notified. This isn't pushing someone on the playground this was scissors to his throat so what if they weren't sharp, what if they were?

On another note -- how did the teacher not see any of this? I would throw a fit a BIG FIT! If something had gone wrong, if this kid would have slipped with those scissors, your kid could be dead. On their watch! HELLOOOOOO???? THIS IS SERRIOUS

Answer 28

I would request that you know the details.  This is your sons safety.  If the school still refuses to tell you anything then I would go to the police.  This is a big deal and you should know exactly what is going on.  A school is a place where your child should feel safe.  The other child should get expeled based on the zero tolerence policy.  Bottom line is get more people involved if the school won't cooperate.  good luck.