Did I get 'used' by my older parents?

Question

Ok, here's the deal. I am in my 30's and my mother is in her late 60's, father in late 70's. They live on a fixed income and only owned 2 large older full size trucks. My ex-husband decided he was going to "give" me a vehicle that he wasn't using so I decided that it would be a great thing for me to give my 2002 Kia Spectra to my parents, no strings attached. That way, they would be able to go to town much cheaper, etc. etc. (Plus, to be honest, the thought of either of them driving those two big trucks scares me. They're not the safest drivers and I was worried about them hitting someone else and the harm they could cause.) Ok, so about a week after I gave them my car, I went out of town and called my folks to just check on them and let them know I had made it to my destination safe and sound. Out of the blue, my father accused me of stealing $200 - which I do NOT need! I tried to speak to him about it (he's been known to misplace things) but he insisted I took it and told all of my sisters and some of his friends that I did! He told me that the car was his now and that he didn't want me coming over to "his" home any more. My mother, who says she stands behind me, NEVER said a single WORD. Just stood there. Am I wrong to feel like I've gotten used? I have decided that I can not have someone like that in my life - I really don't need the stress. So the second part of my question is: am I wrong to cut them out of my life? Please, someone give me some advice!!!

Answer 1

Explain to your dad that you gave him the kia becaus eyou could afford to and that if you needed  $200.00 you would have asked for it and when he understands this he can call you but until then you don't even want to discuss it. You have an obligation to show him that you cannot allow him to treat you this way. It is demeaning and disrespectful and you have done nothing to deserve that from him. Don't put your mom in the middle just continue with the relationship the two of you have. He will come around

Answer 2

With your dad's age, I would wonder if he's got some mental dillusions.  You need to get your siblings to go to bat for you, if your dad won't talk to you.  Hav ethem explain that if you needed the money, you could have sold the Kia for more than $200, instead of giving it to him.  I don't think you should give up on your parents - I just think its a case of misplaced money and misplaced memory!

Answer 3

Yes, your wrong to cut them out of your life, maybe something medical is going on with your dad, and he is suffering from some dementia I think you need to explore the possibilities before cutting them out of your life. If you did nothing wrong you have no reason not to support them and be at there side while trying to figure out what is going on.