Did I insult my daughters 4th grade teacher.?

Question

She is really strict, which I am fine with.I e`-mailed her, to see if my daughter could turn in a coupon, she gave the class as a Christmas present-I had heard someone made copies & she did`nt accept them.It was a very nice e-mail.That I was going to let my daughter do this,to be gentle when she asked her, that she was a little afraid of her.I went on & said that at the begining of the year I had told my daughter, that one of my favorite teachers was strict-that it brought out the best in me & I rescepted her.Yesterday, my daughter came home & said that her teacher said someones parent e-mailed her & said that their child was afraid of her, that -for them to wait There would be a lot more strict teachers in theirfuture,B.T.W she wasvery nice to my daughter & accepted coupon. She did not e-mail me back.

Answer 1

she was probably suprised, looks like reality is itting home for that tecaher but i dont think she'll pick on your daughter for it.

Answer 2

No not at all, teachers need constructive criticism to learn how to improve their abilities to teach!!!!

Answer 3

I remember having strict teachers when I was young too. They were in general the ones I learned the most from but .................and this is important-- I was never afraid of them, they were always approachable to me.

Answer 4

You didn't insult her. My friends who are teachers have told me stories of parents threatening them with bodily harm. So, you're comment was a compliment by comparison. Kudos to you for trying to establish a relationship with the teacher. Keep at it.

Answer 5

If you think you did, then you might want to try to talk to the teacher in person (I know that might be difficult to schedule in, though) and clear up any percieved misunderstanding.  E-mails are hard because even though you know the "tone" you are writing in, if the teacher has had a bad day or has a different outlook on life, it still has the possibility of coming off differently then what you meant.  You can just let her know that you got the impression that she may not have taken the e-mail in the spirit that you meant it and you want to make sure she was aware of what you REALLY meant by it.  If she didn't take it as an insult, then you'll be no worse off.  If she did take it as an insult, you will have improved communication immensely.

Answer 6

I would say yes you probably hurt her feelings but honestly she doesn't sound very professional. What kindof teacher tells the class that a parent emailed her and said this? You don't stick children in the middle of adult issues. She should have emailed you and spoke to you about it and left the class out of it.

Answer 7

i think it was unprofessional to bring it up to the whole class like that

Answer 8

you so did not... unless if she thinks you just did but if you ask me...you didnt.

Answer 9

Well...first i think its pointless for the teacher to just say that some parent had emailed her etc....she cld have rather spoken to ur daughter personally and asked are u scared of her? :)

As a parents u ahve all the right to say wut u wants..and i dont hink ur id anythign in just asking her ot be gentle..i just hope u didnt write it in a way that she wld have got offended. .. :)

like wihout asking her to "be gentle when ur daughter gives out the coupon"??

but anyways now that is done...dont worry abt it...... there are kind + strict teachers in any skul... cant help it...if sh eis a good teacher who teaches well then that is wut matters...but  ask ur daughter everyday wut she didin skul and if that teacher came...how did she treat ur daughter....was she kind to her. etc.. ;) u know.

Tc

Answer 10

I don't think so, I think she was just letting the class know that even they think she is strict now, just wait, they will get a teacher that is stricter in the future.

Answer 11

It was rude, but I've honestly dealt with worse. My seventh grade teacher used to like to tell stories about his life rather than teach math, so we never did any work in his class nor did we receive homework.

My parents thought I was hiding my HW, so I finally told the truth. They went to the principal's office and the teacher got in trouble.

From that point on, whenever we had class and he'd be about to tell a story, he would stop and tell the class, "I WOULD tell the story, but Ryn's Mommy and Daddy came up here and said i can't tell anymore stories, so we'll do math instead".

And everyone in the class would hate me

Answer 12

I am not sure what kind of "coupon" you are talking about but I used to hand out a coupon, on occasion, for a no homework night. Why would you think that a copied coupon should be accepted? Would any other place that accepts coupons accept a photo copied one? No, they would not.

There is a big difference between a strict teacher and a mean one. Was this teacher ever mean to your child? If not, why would your daughter be "afraid" of her? A strict teacher demands respect and keeps the class under control which is her job. As your child gets older, more will be expected of her and the rules in the classroom will become more and more "strict".

I personally do not think it was right for your child's teacher to announce that she had received an e-mail from a parent that said a child is afraid of her? That said, I do not think it was right of you to tell the teacher your child was "afraid" of her UNLESS your child had good reason for that fear. Simply saying my child is afraid of you, please be "gentle" with her and accept something that you have previously refused to is telling a teacher how to do her job and bend the rules for your daughter because of her "fear". With that, I would say your e-mail was inappropriate.

Edit** I am sorry you did not like my answer. From what you wrote, this is my opinion. You did not say what the coupon was for. The only coupon I used to hand out was for no homework. If a child tried to copy that coupon and get 2 no homework nights, that would be dishonest. What was the coupon for and WHY would you copy it? I was a teacher for 25 years (5th grade) and never once had a parent tell me that their child was afraid of me. On the other hand, I had many parents (too many to count) who thanked me for being strict. Again, was this teacher ever mean to your daughter? Is your child really "afraid" of HER or was she afraid that the teacher would refuse the copied coupon as she had another students? Remember, this is Y/A. The story has many more details than what you have given. I am curious as to what the coupon was and even more curious as to why you had the need to present a copy of one. Please do not be insulted by my answer. I was giving an honest opinion with the information I had. You did ask for an opinion, correct?

Answer 13

I think I would be more concerned about the fact that the teacher doesn't seem to care that your daughter is afraid of her. I have never had that problem with my daughter but if I was a teacher and I found out one of my students was afraid of me, even if I was strict, I would want to sit down with them and find out why. I mean when kids are afraid of their teacher it makes them more apprehensive than they already are to ask for help when they don't understand something. I would consider having a meeting with the teacher and letting her know that while you have no problem with her being a strict teacher but you are a little concerned that your daughter is afraid of her. No child should fear their teacher no matter how strict they are and if they are strict enough to instill fear in the child then they have lost the ability to reach out and really teach them.

Answer 14

As a parent you have every right to say what you like to the teacher, our children are too important to let things lie.  I don't think that you insluted her...as long as she does not pick on your daughter, I would think nothing more on it.

Maybe she appreciated the e-mail, you did complement her by backing her methods as a strict teacher..also you do have the right to make sure that your child gets a good education. I had one teacher I was petrified of...I was always too scared to put my hand up or to ask her anything... I did not do very well in her class and she constantly made an example of me as I was very quiet.  I always tell my daughter that I pay for that teacher to teach her, so if she does not understand anything, then she is to ask-that is what they are there for!!  I think you did the right thing..if she is offended..too bad for her, she could learn alot from parents feedback as a professional.