Did I over react?

Question

So my BF and I were headed to his parent's house this morning and he and his little boy who is 5 were waiting in the car for me. I walked out and saw his son sitting in the front seat. I simply asked my BF where I was going to sit and he immediately said I could drive and he would sit in the back. I told him I felt it was appropriate that if there are other adults in the car the kids need to sit in the back. I'm sorry but I feel that my 28 years of life give me the seniority to sit in the front seat. And to me its a matter of respect. What right does a 5 year old have to ask an adult to sit in the back? Don't get me wrong, I love the kid to death (like he was my own) but he is spoiled rotten and people give in to him all the time and I refuse to do that. Ok, I think I am done ranting. So did I over-react or do others feel the same way about this situation?

Answer 1

I agree with you - besides the safety thing it's a matter of respect.

Answer 2

I dont think you over reacted at all.... When I was groing up I always had to sit in the back, as well as any other child I knew. I thought it was just a given that the adults sat up front, besides, I thought it was illegal for kids of a certain size to sit in the front (maybe just some states).

It IS a respect thing, as well as its just a life thing.

Answer 3

Depends on if there were airbags. But yeah if he is spoiled he should sit in the back and if i were ur bf I would have pt the kid in the back once u came butt if ur bf didnt do that i would just suck it up and sit in the back, hope it helps :)

Answer 4

I feel the same way. And I am also aware that you have already mentioned the safety hazard, and even though the airbags were off, what happens when you hit a car and the windshield slams him in the face? What happens if you need airbags and he just slams into the dashboard? Don't do this again. Next time just pick him up and drag him to the back.

Answer 5

I think you are over reacting. You said your self that he is "spoiled rotten and perople give in to him all the time"

Answer 6

A five year old belongs in the backseat due to airbags.

It's a law where I live, kids have to 12 years old to set up front.

Answer 7

It is his kid and his car his kid can sit were he wants.

Answer 8

First off you sound rude and why should you have the right because of your age!?  Secondly the safest place for the  child is the back seat especially if the car has airbags because he isin't tall enough god forbid those airbags deploy.

Answer 9

your right i agree with you i would never let child sit in the front until there were almost 10,safety comes first.you did the right thing.

Answer 10

Your right for the kids safety he should sit in the back seat.

Answer 11

It's against the law and common sense to let a small child sit in the front. Let alone the fact that he thought that the chid would "out rank" you in seating choice. I doubt this relationship will last if this is how he is treating you. I do wish you well.

Answer 12

I don't think you over reacted at all. He should be sitting in the back in a safety seat.

Regardless if you can turn the air bag on or off it's still not safe for him to seat in the front.

Answer 13

I think that he should have offered you the front seat because it's polite. Not because you are older. Kids are people too, and I always think it's odd when people think that kids should automatically bow down to adults. It's not an age thing. It's a politeness thing.

I think it's interesting that you refer to it as a respect thing, and yet you would ask him to sit in the back. Don't you respect him? It would be silly to expect someone to respect you when you are not willing to do the same.

That being said, it isn't safe for a five year old to sit in the front seat. The airbags can cause a fatal injury. Turning the airbags off doesn't make it safer. The reason why we even have airbags in cars is because without them, a person can crash through the windshield and die.

So I do think that you were overreacting if the reason you didn't want the kid to move was because you thought that you deserved it more because you were born at an earlier date. It's not as though he can control his age. Being young doesn't make you inferior. I would not have thought that you were overreacting if you didn't want him to sit there for safety, but you've made it clear that that is not the case.

Laurie W: your answer interested me. You were offended that your ex thought that women should have to ride in the back because they are inferior, and rightly so. What I don't understand is why you don't see that it's the same with kids. Kids should not be delegated to the back because of their age.

My view on this is a bit complicated. I do feel that a person should offer the front seat to someone much older than them, because it is polite, but it isn't because they are inferior, or don't deserve to sit up front. It isn't a respect thing, it's a courtesy thing.

I do not believe that an adult should ask a child to move to the back so that they can sit in the front. That implies that the adult thinks that they child is inferior and doesn't deserve to sit in the front seat.

Kids deserve the same respect as adults.

Answer 14

I agree completely.  It sends the child a very clear message if he is allowed to sit up front and you are sent to the back seat.  Safety issues aside, I would have made a big deal too.

When I was single, I actually broke up with a guy because he and his friends expected the women to sit in the back seat while the men rode in the front.  I figured is that is his view on the role of women, the relationship wasn't going anywhere anyway.  I think if this child doesn't learn that you deserve respect when he is little, he will never learn it.

Good Luck.

Answer 15

No, you didn't over-react.  But I'm more concerned about why the heck he's letting a 5 year old sit in the front seat!  He BETTER NOT have airbags, children under 13 are not permitted to sit in the front if the car has passenger airbags.

Also, at least in CA where I live, children MUST ride in a booster seat until they are 6 or 60 lbs.

But even if the kid were 15, I'd agree with you that out of respect for you, the kid should sit in the back.