Did I overreact?

Question

For some reason I was extremely sleepy today so after work i went to bed at about 8 pm. Well, i am in a deep sleep when my doorbell rings. I open the door and my sister and her boyfriend are standing there. Clearly I was asleep because all the lights in my apartment were off and I looked half dead. lol She decides that she is going to come in anyway and start turning on all my lights and asking me what i had to eat, to drink, etc. I made it very clear that I didnt' want to be bothered but she acted as if it didn't matter that I was asleep. So I literally told her and her bf to "go home" but she ignored it until I went back into my bedroom and got back in the bed. Well, she finally left but with a major attitude. Knowing her, she will not talk to me again for a month. Was I wrong? She came by unannounced with company, I was asleep and she could have cared less and then my apartment wasn't as straight as I like for people to see it which annoyed me. I felt disrespected. Did i overreact?

Answer 1

What you did was justified. Don't lose any sleep over it.

Answer 2

No, you didnt' overreact. You gave your sister every leeway to backout and know that night was not the night to hang out. She should be apologizing to you for barging in on your polite explanations that you wanted to sleep, and buy you flowers or a pizza to make up for her bitchy exodus.

Answer 3

Absolutely not!  In my opinion, there is nothing more disrespectful than an unannounced visit from a family member or friend.

Your sister could have called and asked if it was okay if she and her boyfriend came by for a visit.  The bad part about the whole incident is that you allowed her to come in to your home uninvited, and she took advantage of your awkwardness.  She is definitely in the wrong, and if she's angry or upset that you seemed ungracious and surprised of her visit, then she needs to get a clue and learn some manners.

If she's angry, let her get over it, and ask her kindly to give you a call next time so that you both can avoid an awkward situation.

Good luck.  You seem like a decent person and were in your right mind to be upset about an unexpected visit from your sister!!!

Answer 4

Has your sister made a habit of arriving at your doorstep unexpectedly?  You need to make it clear to her that there are times when you don't want to be disturbed.

I don't think you overreacted, you stated how you felt asked her to leave, yet she stayed.  I actually think you were passive in your approach, it could have been a lot nastier.

It was probably a shock for your sister to see your reaction, but perhaps she has learnt from it now and it won't happen again.

Regarding her not talking to you, you need to explain how you were feeling and you felt that it was not sinking in for her to understand where you were coming from.

Answer 5

Just apologize, save yourself the month of not speaking.

Answer 6

~~You acted within your rights and your sister was way out of line and owes you an apology. I say let her get over it. Sometimes our loved ones really take advantage over us, got to love them, but you don't have to take it!~~

Answer 7

No, you did not over-react.  You reacted reasonably.

Depending on the relationship you had with your sister and whether it was an accepted practice for her to show up, unannounced, she might or might not have been out of line IN THE BEGINNING, when she showed up with her BF.  In other words, if she had done this before and you didn't let her know this was unacceptable, she might not have realized you were asleep even though your lights were off.

HOWEVER, once you made it very clear that you didn't want to be bothered, she should have respected your wishes.  I don't know if she was acting up because her BF was there, but it didn't matter WHY.  She disrespected you.  If she doesn't talk to you again for a month, please don't reward her by apologizing or pretending you were the one in the wrong.  She needs to learn not to disrespect people like that.  It's better she learns the lesson from you, than from someone who might REALLY over-react.

Answer 8

No, you didn't overreact.  In fact I'd tell her tomorrow or in an email tonight that if she wants to come to your house in the future that she should call first.

Answer 9

I think your reaction was perfectly justified.

However, to maintain peace, I'd call your sister tomorrow (assuming she's ignoring your calls, leave her a message). Just say, "I'm sorry about yesterday.  I was feeling really under the weather.  I love you and I always welcome your visits, however I'd really appreciate it if you gave me a ring first".  

If you don't say anything, it'll probably end up as a war of silence until one of you caves in a month.  So, just be the bigger person and call her before this snowballs into a bigger deal.

I hate it when company shows up unannounced.  Especially if they bring guests.  I like to clean up and dress up for company.  I don't feel comfortable if guests come by and I (and my house) look trashed.

Answer 10

no not if you tried to say it nicely first I hate it when people try and take advantage of polite people. Hope she grows up and gets over it. In the mean time get some sleep...

Answer 11

overreact??? no IMO you under reacted! enjoy a month of peace and quiet from a very seemingly selfish sister.

Answer 12

by that description, no way...  your reaction is perfectly valid and understandable.

she should know better and understand why you would react that way in that situation..  they are completely at fault.

Answer 13

Overreact? Na! Its your place, u were sleepy, and once again its ur place!!lol

Answer 14

I wouldn't have answered the door if I was sleeping.  But she'll get over it, she's your sister, next time just let her hang out at your place if she doesn't mind that you are going back to bed but I wouldn't have told her to go home.  That part was rude.

Answer 15

no you didn't. it was rude for her to kinda barge in asking for food...you were right to feel disrespected. and she's immature if she doesn't talk to you for a month

Answer 16

If it happened exactly as you said, then no, it was perfectly fine!

JTK

Answer 17

not at all. it was your personal space that was disrespected, why shouldn't you be angry?

Answer 18

No... she needs to learn!

Answer 19

no she did and she had absoultly no right 2 basically barge in

Answer 20

No way. It's rude for your sister to pop in uninvited (she even brought someone with her!).

It's even more rude for her to stroll around like she owns the place and ignoring you when you told her to leave.

She needs to learn some manners and owes you an apology.

As for the person that said she should of been invited to "hang out" while you were asleep. I don't think so. I'm assuming she and/or her boyfriend have a home. Let them hang out there and eat and drink up their own food.