Did I overreact to this situation?

Question

So I'm a good size guy, about 6'2, 220. I'm walking along at night around the lake by my house and all of a sudden I hear a girl call over, "Hi" she says. I kind of gaze back and respond "Hi". She asks me what I'm doing, I state the obvious, that I'm walking.

She then asks me to do her a favor. It turns out she's there with another girl and a guy. The guy was sitting on the bench with the other girl. No, this is not going to get perverted. She asked me to take a pic of the three of them. I agree (since I'm not an a*****e, most of the time).

She hands me the camera and I go to take the pic. I could tell the guy had a bit of an arrogant air around him, and he says "If you try to take the camera, I'll chase you, I'm a former lacrosse runner". I was kind of taken aback, since here I am doing these idiots a favor and the guy has the gaul to suggest that I'm going to jack their camera (it was a crappy one too that went out before I could take the pic and they had to reset it). So I respond "If I wanted to take it, I wouldn't have to run". The girls said "threats" and kind of giggled it off, the guy said nothing more.

Keep in mind that I live in a relatively safe suburban "white" neighborhood in Southern Cali. There are no muggings or shootings here. I'm also not a tatted up "gangster" or anything, was just wearing basic jeans and a T-shirt listening to my headphones around my neck.

Was I overreacting? Should I have just said nothing? Do you think the guy was pretty ungrateful for alleging that I'd run away with such a S****y cam? Keep in mind it was pretty close to midnight, and I did have a knife. If I wanted that cam, it would be mine.

Opinions please.

Answer 1

Nothing wrong about any of it.  Myself, I've typically gone the route of always trying get the lower hand, but that's just my submissive nature.  If he had told me he was going to chase me if I tried to take off with the camera, I would have giggled, not a nervous giggle, but one that, from my perspective, would say that he's silly for even thinking I'd try to run off with the camera because I just don't do that kind of thing.

But I think we automatically do the right thing in any situation.  It's when we second-judge our natural reaction and think it isn't enough.  Then we try to do more and end up, sometimes, making the situation worse.

I think it went perfectly, myself.  He got to show his balls.  You got to show your balls, and both of you were happy with that.

I think you'll make the same wise choices in the future.  Your last sentence, "If I wanted that cam, it would be mine," almost makes it look like you're hoping for the chance to throw it down to somebody because you're feeling powerful lately.  Fortunately that sense of being with it and sure of yourself comes with the balance of wisdom that keeps it in its place.

I find myself in that mental state a lot, sometimes even rehearsing anticipated trouble, only to find out it's never as bad as I was thinking it was going to be.  This kind of rehearsal actually gets the kind of energy out of your system that can pull someone into pushing the buttons that will set you off.

Damaeus

Answer 2

Hi,

few years ago was at a Yankee game with my 5" zoom lens.  some guy wanted to see how it looked through the lens.  

now, being born and raised in NY, NY i am not one to simply hand over my precious camera and only zoom lens... we were a couple rows up from the first row of the upper deck so i handed my precious camera to him and told him if he threw it over the edge i would throw him off after it.  was joking, and being 5'5" 115 lbs (at the time) i don't think he was frightened but i really didn't feel like chasing him or my camera.

but, like i said, i'm from the city, and among a rowdy crowd in Yankee Stadium.

out in the park i think i would have thought it ridiculous to say something like that to some guy taking my picture.

he was obviously getting off on himself.  let it go and forget the loser.

that's all i got

Answer 3

Being nasty as well as old I would have given the arrogant fellow the camera back without taking the pic.

But then that's me. Best wishes. UK

Answer 4

Nah,

I thought you handled it very well. Obviously this guy was trying to impress his girl (hence the lacrosse remark)

I never thought about this until tonight, but I guess there is etiquette when you ask a complete stranger to do you a favor. You are right though, once you ask someone for a favor the last thing you should do is insult that person.

This is on them and not you... I think it was nice that you still took the pic after being insulted and all.

Answer 5

No, you didn't overreact.  The guy was incredibly rude.  People like that need to be told somehow that their behavior is bad.  I think most of the time we should just tell them directly how rude they are, since a lot of people seem to be that way more and more lately.

Answer 6

Answer a.)  "If you try to take the camera, I'll chase you, I'm a former lacrosse runner"   BOOM, you've stumbled across a drunk or someone looking for trouble.  My answer, in your shoes, "well then, f*k you and your camera", walking on my way.

Answer b.) my current self answer:  you did the right thing - do not try to prove anything - do not think less of yourself - do not sink to his level.  If you're asked with respect, OK.  If you're asked with humor, OK.  If your asked by a prick with intent to start something - go back to answer "A".  

Don't look for trouble - But don't accept trouble...

Good night.