Did anybody out there have to raise a baby as a teenager without any assistance from relatives?

Question

Namely mom and dad? How did this work out for you? How did you and your baby survive?

I'm sorry to keep asking this but I didn't get quite the answers I was looking for in my last question. If you need more info you can check it out:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=ArZKFOPTyr97NO5v4N1IM2Bq.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080325144355AAI2lrm

Answer 1

if you are a teenage mum,the maternity feeling will come naturally to you and still you need a more experience person to advice and help you,in your case i don't know if you are alone or not,if yap be courageous because i raise my nephew alone,now have 2 years,everybody was at work,its hard sometimes but you should know to handle the situation.

Anyway good luck for you and your baby in life,god bless both of you to be always happy.

Answer 2

Yes, I raised 2 sons without help from anyone at all. I was a single parent, and i know how they get slated a lot by the media, and such, but my boys did really well for themselves and both have really good jobs.

I did feel I missed out on the things my friends did when I got to 19, 20 etc, but I made up for it as I was still young as my boys got to 18.

My mum wouldnt let me stay with her when I got pregnant, so I stayed in a Hostel for a while, about 6 months.  It wasnt a great place to be, it was clean, and the other people were nice, but it was a case of sharing rooms, kitchen, bathroom etc.  I got myself a Social Worker, I didnt really fancy to do this, but they do help a lot, and have a lot of clout when it comes to getting things you need, and helping you on the right way in doing things.

I did get a flat, and worked when my boys got older.

They both say they are really proud of me, and while we never had vast amounts of money, love was never in short supply.

I did ok, and things were a bit harder then, this young girl will be fine, and its such a nice thing you are doing by helping her.

Good luck to you all :0)

Answer 3

I didn't rasie a baby alone as a teenager--I was a young married mom.

But, I was a baby of teenage parents who raised me without any help from anyone.

I am not completely sure what answers you are looking for but, I will tell you I always felt loved by my teenage parents... They didn't always make very good choices for me and often treated me older then I was... They kept food on the table but it was usually fried potatos or other starches that filled a tummy without much health value.

I was a child of teenage parents and by the time I was 12 I felt like I was the parent--cared for my siblings and held responsible for things beyond my years... I left home at 17 as my parents were still young kids and I out grew them...

I love them--they love me and I know they did their best. My life is not tragic, but it was hard growing up....and I have often wished my parents had not been so young...

Just my honest feelings and maybe my feelings would be different had my parents grown while raising me--maybe had I not had siblings so soon after me I would have done better...

Answer 4

I posted on your other question, but you had already posted this new question by the time I finished.  I didn't raise a baby at a young age, but I saw you weren't getting any responses, plus I also have known some gals who did have to do this without their parents.  So....

Have you and she checked into available services through the Department of Social Services, local churches and women's organizations in your area?

I also just want to add that about a month ago, I asked moms -- all moms -- about sacrifices that made for their children and if they'd do it all over again. Every one of them said that because they love their children, they'd do it again in a heartbeat, and that those sacrifices felt like no sacrifice at all. These were moms who had their children at various ages and under various circumstances -- married, single, younger, older, adoption and non-adopted.

These 'sacrifices' included things like college. I know that this gal was planning nursing school, and that's great. It just might be that she'll have to put it off for a bit while her baby is still quite small. It doesn't mean forever. Several of the moms said that they went to school when there children got a little older.  At the community colleges in my area, there is daycare and financial assistance available.

In the meantime, though, I'd sure have her check around to social services organizations and churches. There are options available for young, single moms just starting out.

It's nice to see someone concerned for this gal and her baby.

Answer 5

i think the best option would me if she and the baby could go and live with her aunty and uncle and she does the parenting when shes not in school and they help her out when shes in School and the odd evening or day at the weekend so she can still spend time with her friends. This way once she has graduated and set up in her own home the baby will have always known her as their mother so will have no problem in going to live with her.

I hope this helps you?

Answer 6

I have not done this myself.  I know several former teen moms who are raising lovely children and are very accomplished themselves.  Some have bought homes on their own.  Others are still saving for a home.

Frankly, most of them were successful because of the loving support of their parents.  However, one young woman was thrown out of her mom's house.  Her sister helped her out some and loaned her money to get her college degree on-line.  She is now a college admissions counselor and just bought a house for her and her son.  Another friend survived completely on her own, including sleeping in her car with her baby for a week when she was between apartment leases.  Her mom is deceased and her dad is a jerk.  She is doing fine now with a good job and very accomplished 7 and 9 yo children.  Her success came with a lot of pain, exhaustion, and sacrifice.

Going it alone is not for the weak spirited.  Of all of the successes I know of, the parents gave emotional and financial support but stepped back on parenting.  They made the teen mom (and a teen dad who I know) step up to the dirty work.  In no way did they step in to be substitute parents.

In cases where the family support was minimal, the moms used churches, WIC, and public housing to survive until they could get back to work/school.  There are also church run shelters that provide housing for teen moms where parenting skills, housing, schooling, etc are provided.  Young moms-to-be must be extremely careful about checking these resources out.  Some only help if adoption is the goal - these organizations need to be avoided at all costs.

Answer 7

When I was 17 years old I became pregnant and was kind of in her situation.If she is determined to be a mother for her child she will put that responsibility first.

Unfortunately it was not easy at all ,but it can be done.

I will e-mail you with more details and please feel free to e-mail me as well.

good luck to you and your family and the girl

Answer 8

There are many financial resources out there for young mothers.  Yes, this involves government assistance, but if it can help a young parent get though school and therefore no longer needing it, then it's fulfilled its purpose.

I'm more concerned with the emotional support that any new mother needs, but especially a teenager.  I could never turn my back on my teen, if he/she became a parent.  But obviously, other parents don't share that view.  I'm also concerned that therefore, this girl was never "shown" how to be a good parent.  It's not all instinctual behavior, we tend to learn how to parent from how we ourselves were parented.  Abuse runs in cycles, because it is a learned behavior.  So does healthy parenting.  But for the former, it takes a pretty strong individual to break that cycle.

Is there anyone else in her family, healthy adults, that can help this girl find the emotional support and model good parenting for her?  I think that's the larger issue than the financial support.  

Good luck!