Did anyone waited longer than 6 weeks to resume s*x?

Question

So everyone tells me that they waited for their 6 weeks check-up to have s*x again, after childbirth.

I have had my baby for 2 months and half now, and I still don't feel it...Why is that? I am tired, but not exhausted to this point. How long did it take you to feel you wanted to resume s*x with your partner? Was your partner asking for it... or was he just patient and tough it out until you make the move? (by the way, my husband is being very cooperative on that matter, and he is waiting patiently...)

I also had a 3rd degree cut + tear, and I am crazy about it. The doctor said it healed alright at my 6 week checkup, but I am scared it may open during sexual intercourse...can it be now that it is completly healed? It is healed, but it is still uncomfortable (not hurt). Thanks for your honest answers ! Have a great day.

Answer 1

It is very commom and natural.  You body produces hormones that actually make you not desire s*x.  If you are breastfeeding this is even more so.  It is natures way of making sure your new baby is well taken care of before you make another baby.  

I also had 3rd degree tearing that didn't feel comfortable like you said until about 10 weeks.  I think we first had s*x after 14 weeks.  It was a bit sore, but was much better the second time.

It is wonderful you have a patient man, but don't be insensitive to his needs.  Yes, you are tired and afraid, but there are ways to make it better.  Tell your husband that if he helped a bit more in the evening or on the weekend it would leave you with more energy for "other" things.  I am sure he will bend over backwards trying to get the laundry done or whatever.  There also other ways of pleasing your man which can be a lot less energy consuming if you know what I mean.

Answer 2

i had a c-section and waited 8 weeks.  my partner was patient. i think i initiated it. wait until you're ready physically.  sometimes it's hard (mentally) jumping back into things especially after so long of not doing it at ALL.  i was really shy about it (weird, i know).  

Answer 3

I had to wait 8 weeks. I tore soooo bad my doc informed me to wait. I think i even waited an extra week or two cause i was a little scared. Everything was fine though. It was a little uncomfortable but not bad at all.

If your doc says you are fine then you are. Don't be scared and take it slow. Most likely you don't want to because you are scared.

Answer 4

I tried at 6 weeks and i was very uncomfortable. then tried again at 8 weeks...it was a lot better. i think you should just take it slow and it should get better. you are very lucky since your partner is being patient. i wasn't so lucky

Answer 5

Well, I tried to wait longer than 6 weeks, but I think my husband would have imploded.

Don't feel bad, it's pretty normal for a new mom to not feel into it again for a while.  Heck you're doing good if you can fit a good shower into your day.

Answer 6

We tried at 6 weeks, but I was so uncomfortable that I asked my husband to give me another week. At 7 weeks we tried again (and sorry for tmi...we used lube and everything worked out fine)...I was terrified, but it all ended up being okay. My husband was very supportivve. Just be sure that you feel up to it and comfortable. Best of luck!

Answer 7

honestly i waited only 4 weeks because i felt great and the doc said it was alright since i was not bleeding and healed. all women are different, it did not hurt me at all but wait until you are comfortable and dont force it :)

Answer 8

I waited about 10 weeks. And the first time was not fun for me, or for him. I didn't really feel like it and it was very uncomfortable, not necessarily painful, but it felt weird. It was probably almost a year until I actually "felt" like having s*x. And even then I was too tired alot of the time, or irritated at him to the point I couldn't stand to look at him, or I felt fat still, or I had other stuff to do. He was patient for the first six months but then after that it all went downhill. Now it is almost two years later and we are getting back to normal. s*x feels normal again and I actually kinda feel like it again. However, I feel like s*x is probably never going to be exactly the same after having a baby for tons of different reasons. Depends on the person I guess.

Answer 9

To be honest, my son is 7 months old and I STILL don't feel like it 90% of the time. I have s*x with my husband, but not as often as we used to. I think I am just wrapped up in our son, house work, etc. and having s*x is the last thing on my mind.

I also forgot to mention that I had s*x at around the 7th or 8th week after having my son.

Answer 10

LOL, after I had my first child, I lied to my husband and told him he must have misunderstood the doctor, that we had to wait six MONTHS, not six weeks.  Just kidding...but seriously, take some more time if you're not ready.

Answer 11

My baby is 8 months old and still don't feel like it most of the time...I work ,breastfeed and take care of 2 kids besides housework....I am tired and s*x to me seems like such an effort most of the time I do it just to keep the peace with my husband...I don't know why either

Answer 12

It's been over two year and I still don't feel like it.  Probably why I am single now :)

My friend and her husband didn't have s*x for the first 9 months after her daughter's birth.

Answer 13

I waited almost 11 years..........I was pregnant when I left my husband and did not resume "activity" until I was more sure he was a keeper......and he was!!

Take your time. It sounds like you are really fearful of the pain because of your tear.....and rightfully so. It won't reopen but it may be a bit painful. (been there) Just use loads of lubrication and have him go slowly.  

Answer 14

it has been 9 weeks and I am still in no kind of mood. mainly I feel fat, exhausted and unsexy.

Answer 15

Honestly we didn't wait that long - my husband had been out of the country for more than 2 months, so we got down to business after 4 weeks.  (at my urging) And I had a 3rd degree tear through my a**s wall.  It didn't reopen, but it did hurt for a while after - as long as we use lots of lubrication every time it doesn't hurt.

I also don't want to have s*x as much as I used to - we used to do it like every other day at least, then after the baby, we are down to 2 times a week at most.  My son is 21 months, so it's changed a lot and hasn't gotten better with time.

I think being a mom just makes you feel different.  But I do try to at least keep up the 2 times a week even if I'm not in the mood - so he doesn't get frustrated.

I also read a magazine that said if you want more intimacy in your life, you have to have more intimacy - like holding hands, kissing, cuddling - if you don't keep these things up, you won't feel like s*x - the brain waves just aren't there.  If you have s*x a couple times you will feel more like it.  Trust me, that has been true for me- once we get started, even if I'm not in the mood, I feel better and get into the mood.

2 months is a long time and I'm surprised he has been so patient.  

It will not reopen, but try to use lots of lube and relax!  - things will feel different down there because of the scars, but my doctor told me the worst thing to do is to get tense, like you are worried it will hurt - then it will hurt.  Good luck - get back on that horse, honey - you don't want to be one of those couples who stop having s*x after their first kid and then get a divorce all of a sudden ("I don't know why - we get along just fine") people have needs and your husband sounds like a great guy for not pressuring you so far - get a romatic movie, put on a cute nighty and get to it.  You will be surprised at how "back to normal" you will feel afterwards - you are not just a mom, you are a woman too.