Did anyone who put there child in school a little earlier regret it? Good/bad decision?Would you do it again?

Question

My Child misses the cut off date in our state by about two months for pre-K (he is supposed to be 4 by September 1 in Ohio and he will be 4 October 24) - when he was tested to see where he should be grade-wise - he was accepted into pre-K. Now, he is only two months younger than the cut-off date, but he will definitely be the youngest in the class - should I go ahead and allow him to go to pre-K or should I just adhere to the cut off date disregarding the fact that he was tested and was given the okay for pre-k? Anyone have experience with putting a child (especially sons) in school a little early?

Answer 1

My youngest will be within the cutoff age when she starts but just barely. My plan is to go ahead and start her. I think she will be fine.

I have a friend whose daughter was past the cutoff age and so they enrolled her in private school so she could begin. She was absolutely ready and is doing wonderfully. She is in second grade now.

When I was in first grade, the school wanted to advance me to second but my parents decided against it. It was a mistake. I really could have used the confidence booster and I was a little bored because the work was too easy for me. I also went to school with at least three people who failed to finish high school because they were not sufficiently challenged and boredom led them to bad behavior. Unless your child is behaviorally immature, I would go ahead and do it.

Answer 2

My son is a November baby. Where he started Kindergarten, he barely missed the cut-off and I could have pushed to get him in. I chose not to. One of the reasons is that although he is very smart, he is impulsive too. He acts without thinking and sometimes seems to be younger than he is. I went rounds with his teacher that year because they were trying to label him ADHD when he isn't. For a girl I might have pushed, but my son needed the extra year of maturity. My sis in law is going through the same thing and she also decided to not fight to put her son in early. I'd rather my son be one of the older kids in the class than the youngest.

Answer 3

there is a lot of educational research that children who start kindergarten later do better throughout their early school year when they go next year into school they are more intelligent compared to the rest of the group more mentally capable and socially suitable.  

generally speaking children who are squeezed in early are similar to the runt of the litter and can suffer in school from not being in the same mental level as children which can be in essence a year older.  

Far better to give them that extra time than push them when it is not neccessary

Answer 4

Wait. I was always the youngest in my class and I hated it. My mom always said the biggest mistake they made was starting me at 4. My birthday is October 22 and the cut off was Nov 1. I would wait. My youngest will turn 5 about a week before the cut off and if we could afford another year of preschool I would keep him in. He got a scholarship and they will not give him one for next year since he can go to kindergarten. I help out in my 1st graders classroom, I did last year too, you can always tell who the young kids are.

Answer 5

I totally agree with Stacy M.  It really depends on the individual child.  Some children need a little extra time to mature before they start school, and it is an advantage to hold them out a year and wait.  But others are MORE than ready, and if you hold them out you are doing them a disservice.   My daughter was 4.75 years old when she started kindergarten.  In our state, the cutoff date is December 31st, and her birthday is December 10th.   Believe it or not, she was NOT the youngest in the class. There were other December babies as well.  Today, my daughter is in 7th grade, and a high honor student.  She is also a social butterfly with tons of friends, who was elected to student council, plays first flute in the band, and is a black belt in karate.   If I had the choice to make again, I would do exactly the same thing, and put her in school early.

Answer 6

I started school age four as I was tested and deemed to be ready to start. I was the youngest in my class.  However the second 2 years were a terrible struggle for me,  I was able for the work but my concentration was way below the other older kids. I got in trouble a lot for not doing my work quickly and was unhappy and stressed because of this. I eventually caught up after that but it lowered my self esteem.

Also towards the end of primary school a lot of the older kids in my class were more sophisticated and interested in boys etc while I, a year younger was not. I was always a little less sophisticated for the first two years of high school as well.

I started university age 17, the legal drinking age in Ireland is 18 so, for a year, it was more difficult for me to go out to pubs etc to socialise with my friends who were all at least a year older.

I could have definatly done with another year.

Answer 7

This is really your call. Is you son mature enough to go through a day of school? Is he able to sit still for periods of time and pay attention? If you feel he is ready then you shouldn't hold him back. He may get bored at home and start acting out. If he isn't ready keep him back a year and start teaching him some things at home that will help to prepare him for next year.

Answer 8

From my experience, I would say that some children start school younger, and do absolutely fine academically, socially, and emotionally.

However, I have found that many children who start school younger do not do well - expecially boys. It usually becomes more obvious, somewhere around about grade 4 - 7, that the child is less mature socially, emotionally, and academically. So even though he may seem fine now, the differences between him and his classmates will probably broaden.

If it were me, I think I would wait. But you know your son best, and you know if he will be completely bored if at home for another year. However, it would give him such a good head start to be one of the older children instead of the youngest. If children are just not quite there yet, it can be really hard to catch up.

Good luck - it's good that you are really taking the time to consider whether you think your son is ready or not. It must be such a hard decision for parents to have to make.

Answer 9

my child started early and I think it was great she matured a little faster than her siblings. She turned 5 on the cut off date sep.1st that her birthday so she went before her peers did. shes the youngest in her class and she is honor roll!

Answer 10

Honestly i believe the younger the better.kids are like sponges at that age and can learn alot.But here it is my son was only 4 when he started kindergarten and now in 6th grade he is still the smallest,less mature,and struggles with school work.If you can keep them home one more year ,i would.I wish i had.you can teach them alot at home yourself.good luck.

Answer 11

You need to look further ahead than pre-K and K.

Do you want your child to be the youngest high school freshman?

Graduate at the age of seventeen and go off to college earlier than most?

Look down the line.

Answer 12

My daughter's birthday was a day before school cut off. But she seemed to be into learning so much, that I figured why not start her. She excelled through 4K and kindergarten. At the first day of kindergarten they tested and she was at a 1st and 2nd grade level. She finished out kindergarten and went into 2nd grade. Its very rare to do this. But she was just not being challenged in classes that she was almost even to young for. So what my point is, it should not depend on a child's age when they should start school but on their level of maturity and their readiness for learning. My daughter will be 7 this August and heading for the 3rd grade. She keeps this up and she will graduate at 16. I was 20 by the time I finished high school. It all depends on the child. And no one knows your child better than you. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 13

Well, in my childhood, I was also put in school a little earlier.  My birthday was in late October, and if I was not put into school, I would be a year older.  Personally, I did not regret it.  It can get tiring, to constantly tell people that I did not skip a grade, but there were younger people in the same grade as me.  

I hope this helped.

Answer 14

My daughter made the cut off by 10 days. She is smart, but she is young in her class. She is in the third grade now and though I think we made the right choice (she has made A/B honor roll every quarter) I have seen times where she does struggle. There are things in math and writing that are just developmental milestones they have to reach to be able to be proficient at. She struggles with things in the first semester and we worry and fret (though she pulls off the grades, it is not without hard work on both our parts.). She seems to pull it together by the middle of the year and they we are pretty smooth sailing academically speaking. Now socially, she has struggled. Our school has what they call Pre-first where they send kids who have summer birthdays. We chose not to do that, but what that does is double the number of children in her grade who are older that she is. In her first grade class there were 75% of the kids who were nearly a year older than her. Though she could keep up academically, socially it was a tough year. I have always felt that the children who have Sept. and Oct. birthdays have a natural advantage over my child because of they meet the developmental milestones without having to be pushed to grasp a concept they are not yet developmentally able to do. Now things are starting to balance out socially and she has made friends. Looking back, I don't think I would change anything, because with my child it was a question of retention. I don't think I would push if my child did not make the cutoff. You are talking 2 months, not a few days. If you think long term for a boy, in high school he will be YOUNG compared to the girls in his grade. He will be the LAST to get his drivers license. In sports he will always be younger and probably smaller than his opponents. I think I would rather have my child be older if I could have done it without retaining her after she had already started school. But, she was my first and you learn as you go! Good luck with your choice. No matter what you decide it will be fine. You will face struggles either way. You just need to pick the struggles you are more comfortable dealing with.