Did i deserve this and what would you have done if you were my mother?

Question

I'm 16 and i snuck out to a party that i was told i wasn't allowed to go to and i got caught. My mom started to shout at me and i started yelling back and i admit i was being bratty

She then told me that i was acting like a child and said that she should spank me, i laughed and told her she wouldn't dare. She then spanked me five times and I'm grounded for a month. It really embarrassed me. Was this fair and should i apologize?

Answer 1

Yes YOU should apologize.

Next,your MOTHER was totally in the right.

The ONLY things you will find at a party is alcohol,drugs,players,loose girls(sl-ts) and guys who use date rape drugs on unsuspecting girls who think they are all grown up and can drink with the boys.

Next,you had no right to sneak out and I hope your mother keeps using good sense.If it had been me,I would have gave you more than 5 swats,you would have thought about me and  wishing you hadn't gone to that party every time you sat down for the next little while.

Answer 2

You disobeyed her and back talked her.  You wonder why you were punished?  I would have forbidden you from seeing friends for some time as well.  You weren't supposed to go to the party, so why did you?  Do you enjoy disobeying your mom?

Answer 3

You definitely deserved what you got.

Answer 4

Sounds perfectly fair to me.  In a similar situation, I would have grounded my daughter for at least 30 days, and would have cut off her telephone and computer, as well.  As far as the spanking goes?  It's certainly not excessive.  If I were you, young lady, I think I'd try hard to make amends, and I'd also cross sneaking out off your list of good ideas.    

Answer 5

Read and understand what New World Man said. His advice was perfect and mature. Your Mom will respect you more as an adult and trust you more if you take his advice.

Now I'm not a prude as I've done what you did and worse. However, I always deserved the punishment I got when I got caught. "If your going to do the crime.....Be prepared to do the time."

Answer 6

no. i think you're humiliating yourself more if you apologize. because parents don't understand that sometimes going to a a party is crucial. they just don't understand.

for example, my mom told me that i should never drink alcohol untill i'm 18. still, i'm drinking wine when others do.

my advice: next time don't get caught

Answer 7

wow, you defiantly deserved what you got. If I was your mother I'd Ground you for 3 months.

Answer 8

you should say sorry for disobeying and bing disrespectful by shouting at her.

she should apologize for the spanking too.

Answer 9

I'm not a fan of physical punishment. In this case, the grounding and restriction of other privileges would have taken precedence. A physical outburst is a sign of rage that the adult is incapable of controlling.

While your behavior certainly escalated whatever anger your mother may have felt due to your sneaking out and choosing to view her concerns as invalid, this does not excuse physical punishment. I won't call what she did abuse, because it was very clearly associated with a set of behaviors you chose to engage in, after being instructed not to.

However, I would suggest you sit down with your mom and discuss the details after you've both had some time to calm down. Think carefully about why she would have restricted you from going to a party in the first place. Did she know any of the people who would be there? Had you told her who would be there? Had you told her there would be alc/drugs there? Did you go with friends or on your own?

All of these questions relate to your mother's concern for your safety, and given that until you are of legal adult age (18), you are entirely her responsibility.

So, if you s***w up and get in a DUI accident, end up date raped, or in the police lockup after the party gets busted up, your mom is the one who has to help you get through whatever trouble you've caused. At the age of 18, she can say, "I've warned you and warned you, talked to you about the consequences, and you still chose to do it. Now it's on you to manage the problems you've created."

I'd hope she would be more sympathetic if date rape were the issue, but if it's just young people playing with fire (drinking/drugs), you'll have to get used to the idea of being burned.

Answer 10

fair or not, you should apologise.