Did i get given the run around here ?

Question

heres what happened 2 weeks ago at therapy assessment and circumstances for me in general :

ive been waiting months for therapy, ive had a tragic horrific life so far - im 30 now - i have borderline poersonality disorder and ptsd..

my life has been one long tradgedy so far .

2 weeks ago i went for my therapy assesment where they asked me a group of questions about my life so far.

ive been told in general that the correct therapy for bpd is dialectal behaviour therapy ....

however at this stage dr andrew told me its not certain whether their psychotherapy centre can help me yet.....its just an assesment.

and that they can only offer group therapy - what the h**l ?

can anyone advise what to do here, because where i live, this is the only therapy unit available....

and i thought i might get dbt or individual psychotherapy.

i really battle with my disorder and rage and feeling alienated from society and just want to move ahead with my life........ive already missed out a great deal in life..

so what do i do, do i take their therapy if they offer it me ?

i exist alone, living in a one bedroom flat on disability benefits in england- i feel ostracised and alienated from society.

i have no one except an aging mother whos always stood by me and done her best for me, shes 58 now and cant get up to see me like she once did.

i have alot of aggression problems that ive improved with all by myself over the years.....i used to have rage outbursts in public that i didnt plan, but comes from years of severe bullying.

ive basically had a horrifically hard life, missed out on forming ' any ' relationships with anyone........ missed out on ever being employed or gaining any qualifications.........missed out on an education..

im extremely lonely, abandoned....forgotten about by society......i sit in my apartment every night and no one seeks me out, tells me im worth something........its like i dont matter to anyone in society.

i feel people are aloof and standoffish to me like they were to me in the past , like no one wants to know me..

i feel stigmatised as somebody to avoid because of my criminal mental past and rage problems....

no one to phone....no one to phone me.....no one to turn to....a tormented, disadvantaged past..

im 30 now, i own nothing....live on disability.....have a dusty old pathetic computer........no carpets on the floor.....have borderline personality disorder and ptsd.

wait for therapy........have torn ankle ligaments an injured ankle.....was told it will take a while to heal.

ive aged prematurly in my face..

have physical imperfections : 2 missing teeth - front bottom row- saving for dental treatment- cant afford anything right now.

this happened after i headbutted a wall years ago through anger.

my only goals in life is to attain a good paying computer job....to live a peaceful life near the coast........to leave england.......to find a loving partner....to eventually live in spain or another part of europe.

ive been waiting all this time for therapy and it has entered my head have they given me the ' run around ' ?

Answer 1

Maybe group therapy would be able to help. I don't believe they were lying to you when they told you they had lack of funding. That's a problem throughout the world for mental illness. Underfunding. So, if they told you the truth and you feel it's not fair, is that being "given the runaround"? It may be unfair, but one thing that definitely will not help is you not leaving your apartment.

You are only 30, I've seen people in universities around America that are in their 60s, going to school. It's never too late to begin again. You need people even if you don't think you do. Try the group therapy. If you don't want to talk at it the first time, let the therapist know ahead of time so you can at least see how it works. I hope life becomes better for you.

A good idea for a job if you don't want to be around a lot of people is night-shift work. The pay is usually a little better than days too.

Answer 2

I am a very tolerant person, but this is starting to get to me.

I want to help you, i do. But i have given you the best advice anyone could give previously, referred you to places you can gain qualifications for free.

I am starting to think you would rather wallow in self pity for the rest of your life rather than do what people are telling you to do.

All you do is ask the same questions every day, always assuming people are conspiring against you.

Before you ask another question tomorrow, think about the fact that your life is in YOUR hands.

No one will do it for you.

And yes, you've had a hard life, but so have a lot of people.

There are people starving to death every day of the week on the other side of this world, people who have nothing, who don't have the benefit of being in a country which offers them the option of living on disability for the rest of their life, people who have to work very hard to get even half the water and food their family needs - yet you sit here every day complaining about your life, as if it is the worst it could ever be.

I understand you have problems, and i do sympathise, but you shouldn't want peoples pity.

Instead of wallowing in what a hard life you've had, why not change it. This is up to you. You can sit on your backside the rest of your life, vegitating,or you can get out there and face the world as you should.

You have the ambition,but no drive. The courses are there, on your doorstep, but maybe you don't want to actually do anything pro active towards achieving a goal because that would mean you couldn't sit on your backside every day complaining to a load of complete strangers who could have had a worse life than you, might i add, about how bad your life is.

All you do is list your ailments, your disorders, your thoughts about rejection and the way people have treated you. But what about the way you treat people?

Take our advice, do something with your life, stop posting the same questions every day and then come back and tell us you did it.

You won't get anywhere asking us lot what to do if you aren't willing to take any of the good decent advise on offer.

And as for the group therapy, if you really wanted your quality of life to improve, and to feel better, you would accept any therapy or help that was on offer - not question it in case it doesn't work for you. You won't know until you give it a good shot. And you have nothing to lose.

You havent considered the fact that the psychotherapist probably prescribed group therapy BECAUSE you have people problems.

They want you to interact with other people, other people who have similar or the same problems to tackle as you. Group therapy offers people somewhere they feel they fit in, because you will be in group with people who have also had a hard life, and who suffer the same disorders.

So take the bloomin therapy, take whatevers offered to you, and stop complaining - because compared to some peoples lives, your's is rather kushty.  

Answer 3

i would go for the group therapy. take the offer, because any kind of help is good. it may cause you problems at first, if you have difficulties with people, but in the end i think being with people that have similar problems will actually be very helpful to you - when people are in the same boat, i think they are more likely to get along, as they are more understanding of each other. the group therapy will give you the chance to try socialising, whilst being in an environment where you can also be given help to do so. i really do think the group therapy will be of benefit.

if that's the only thing they have, then go for it. you never know, different therapies may be offered in the future.

EDIT: and don't listen to people like Wise Old Bird below who try to put you down.

Answer 4

this is the US we don't have socialized medicine here, you might wanna scroll down to the Brit flag and ask there..

Answer 5

I don't think you are being given the run around here I just think it takes a while to get these things set up etc

Don't think anyone has conspired against you. I don't know anything about group therapy I'm afraid so I can't comment on that.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you - things will improve :-)

Answer 6

Has anyone else noticed that the same details in this question were asked by solitary woodland fox?

How dumb do you think we are? It's so obvious you've changed your name - go do something constructive with your time.

If you have a genuine question we dont mind giving an answer - STOP WASTING OUR TIME!

Answer 7

look you said your mum had looked after you. your life infront of you

is what you make of it. get what you can out of the therapy. educate

yourself,think of what you have - you do have a roof over your

head and you are young. you have  a lot of issues but the person

to sort this out is you. ask for an anger management course.

read - go to the library - you also have a computer-

life is there - take it