Did my boyfriend abuse me?

Question

I know that sounds like a stupid question but I honestly don't know.

So, the story is my boyfriend and I were having a fight and while he was talking I said, whatever, and tried to walk away but then he grabbed my arm really hard and jerked me around and said "don't f*cking walk away from me". I was really shocked and he apologized right away (sort of). I know he didn't really mean to hurt me but he really scared the h**l out of me. I thought he was going to hit me.

I already told him that if he ever did that again, I was through with him but do you think this kind of behavior would eventually become abusive or do you think it was just a one time lapse in anger? Cause he doesn't really have a temper. This is the first time we ever had such a huge fight.

I don't know how I'm supposed to feel right now =/

Answer 1

He was very angry and frustrated and he didn't want you walking away. That doesn't make it right. He seems to be genuinely sorry and surprised by his own behavior. Once is a mistake. I would forgive him but if it ever happens again...walk away and walk away fast. I do know at least 3 men who have done this at one point in their lives (not with me) and never did it again.  

Answer 2

I feel that anything that makes you uncomfortable when it comes to someone putting their hands on you is wrong. Maybe you wouldn't call it abuse, but he certainly got in your space. It's up to you to decide if it was enough to give you reason to believe he might become abusive in the future. If you have any doubts about his self control then you have reason to find a new boyfriend.  

Answer 3

You are just getting a peek into the window of future behavior and it will get more intense.  Don't go down that road and show up with a split lip or wear sunglasses to cover a black eye.  Ribs that are cracked and eventually you become his punching bag while he says....I'm sorry...you got me mad.Leave now and don't look back.

Answer 4

technically yes he did but. according to peoples standard these days no. but like you said it could get bad depending on the situation. just be careful and know when to leave.

Answer 5

looks like your a nurse according to the pic?

you then would be an educated person right?

i am a radiology tech, and educated as well. my experience... well, i have a no contact order on my sons father for pinning me to a wall, placing a gun to my head and holding me against my will, also dragging me down a flight of stairs.

we know whats right and whats wrong. as you read above, several things happened to me. this means obviously that i stuck around for a while (4 yrs). i still have my life thank the Lord, but many women never get to see the rest of tere life. i left him finally february of 2007. 6 weeks later to find out i was pregnant!! but you know what?!

leaving was the best thing i ever did. if it wasn't for the life of my son, i would honestly prob be back with the jerk. but i want the best for my son. i am his defender!!

good luck

Answer 6

You did the right thing.

2strikes and he is out lol

My last gf cheated and I never layed a hand on her

Answer 7

He should never have to grab you in that manner to communicate with you. His temper got the best of him in a first time fight. It could be worse the next time.

Answer 8

That's a boundary that you should establish right away.  You keep your hands to yourself especially when we are angry at one another.You demand the respect that you deserve and don't settle for anything less.  good Luck

Answer 9

If you had brains, he would be your ex-boyfriend by now.

Answer 10

If he grabs you in anger, this is considered violent behavior. If he says he sorry...well...you wont know if he is until the next time he gets at that point of anger. Be sure if you decide to stay with him that you understand...violence and women's shelters go hand in hand...don't end up there one day

Answer 11

Yes it can get worse. No man should ever lay a hand on a woman in anger.

Linda

Answer 12

if you think/feel that he is treating you badly then he probably is

Answer 13

Sweetie, a word of warning - if that was the first time that you two got into a "huge fight" and that's how he reacted, you have no way of knowing if that's the way he will always react when in a big fight. You simply don't know.

Make it very clear to him, if you want to try and continue this relationship at all, that that was the first and last time he lays his hands on you with violence, or not only are you out of there, but you will involve the police. And if he ever does - end it there and then, no excuses.

You have had a warning. Its up to you to heed it.  

Answer 14

I'm afraid if he did it once, he'd do it again.  Sorry.  I wouldn't trust him, and yes, he might just become am abuser later on.  Just make sure he doesn't do it again, and if he does, dump him like right away.  Trust me.  No one talks to me that way.  He should have respect for you as a human being.

Answer 15

It was an act of violence.

Make sure you stand by your argument and that you do leave him if it happens again.