Did you and your spouse discuss having children or not, and how many, before marriage?

Question

My husband and I knew we both wanted children and how many we'd like before we got married. It always surprises me that some people don't discuss these things until after marriage.

Answer 1

Yep to kids, but no particular number...

Answer 2

we decided on the amount (3) and names after a month of being together but our first wasnt born until afeter 5 years. We planned but we didnt rush in to it.

Answer 3

My sister in law married at 18 and told her husband at the time that she would wait until 28 (ten years) before having kids. Now she is 20, she homeschooled so she is done with college, and she wants to start a family. She wants to make babies and teach music lessons (her major) But he won't let her change their "deal"-- Even though she was still a baby herself when they made it. (He was 26). So now they are on the brink of divorce.

Answer 4

Why? Yes, my husband and I discussed it before marriage, but the hard work of a child changes most couples' opinion of HOW MANY. They can say 3 kids before marriage, but many couples change their mind after having their first child........many change that number. They face the reality like if they have 3 kids they'll live in a shack or be on welfare or retire at like 80 if you're still alive you get to retire. LOL.

Answer 5

My husband and i discussed it before we got married. I always said 3 he said 2 lol.. we have a 4 yr old so far.. and working on the #2.... just taking a couple years AGAIN.. :) I guess ill have whatever God intends to give us!

Answer 6

Yep. We discussed this before we even got engaged, and we also talked about it in marriage counseling with our pastor.

Answer 7

My husband and I got married yesterday. Before we got married we discussed children and we decided that we would wait 3 or so years.. I also wanted 3 he wanted 2. But now that we are married, things changed a little. We decided that we want children "One Day". We are on the Pill but if children come 9 months from now or 3 years from now, we will love him/her and be happy with what the lord gave us. Right now, our focus in on our marriage and making sure God is in the center.

Answer 8

ha yeah it always suprises me too, thats why people end up getting divorced =)

....wisdom from us smart girls

Answer 9

yes, my hubby and i discused it before we got married.  he wants 5 but i only want 2.  since it's difficult for us to conceive, even 1 child is enough for me!

Answer 10

We never had time. I got pregnant right before we were to be married. The first baby was born 10 months after we got married. The second one was born 11 months later. I think we had done it once after the first baby. The third one was born a year later and then he had  a vasectomy.  I'm glad we had them and love them all very much. They are all grown and gone now. But, we never talked about kids.  

Answer 11

We did. I didn't want more than one, he wanted 3. He insisted on having a child right away... I finally accepted, got pregnant, and he wanted me to have an abortion!!! So he eventually left, and got his mistress pregnant, so he's close to having his 3 children already, while I have my one child that I love with all my heart;)

Answer 12

i was 17 and my wife was 16 when she got pregnant with our son. we got married 6 years later. then when she fell pregnant with our daughter it was unexpected. neither of our kids were planned. in all honesty, i prefer the ways things have turned out. i never imagined the family life would suit me, but it does and i love it.

Answer 13

We discussed it before we were married. We had one before we got married and  two more after we got married.