Did you ever love someone so much but knew you can't be with her?

Question

while I was separated I fell in love with this co-worker. We did have s*x but when I decided I wanted to work it out with my wife I stopped with her. My wife changed her wicked ways and we have kids together and I just didn't want to leave her. Also my kids have a medical condition and the change would have been devistating for them. I do love my wife and things are great at home. No fighting we go out a lot and I am trying to get this girl out of my mind. But sometimes I stop and think about her and just the feeling with her I never experianced with anyone. The fact is I do love her but I know she does not love me like I love her. Would time heal this? Do I have to stop seeing her for this feeling to go away. I think most of all it is the feelinf of what if.

Answer 1

That happened to me...well...I was the wife I guess. My husband came back and stopped seeing this other woman-and well...things have never been the same and I wonder if he goes through the 'what if'. You can't deny love. Even if it hurts to hurt someone else, you can't deny love, to deny it, is denying yourself. I care for my husband a great deal, but if he loves someone else while he lies next to me at night, I am punishing him. He feels guilty for what he done with her, he feels guilty for loving her, but trying to do the right thing by me and the kids, just isn't going to work, not as long as he is in love with her.

Answer 2

The timing was not right for the 2 of you. Because your wife changed and your kids need you, I think you made a wise decision to stay with your family. I loved someone like that when I was single. She was separated from her husband, and I realized she could never give me back the love because of her attachment to her husband and child. Put your energy into your marriage and children. You actually do need to stop seeing her and concentrate on what is. Pray that your lady friend can find someone new and move on with her life.

Answer 3

The "what if" is not reality it is your idea of a life with this woman.  You are stuck in the newness of this other woman.  Try to bring back that feeling of newness you had for your wife when you first met.

Answer 4

I agree focus on ur family

Answer 5

Yes time will heal you.  Focus on your family and forget this woman.

Answer 6

don't ever cheat your wife again

Answer 7

All i can say is keep trying good luck

Answer 8

I know how you feel, I also get on well with my husband now after a hard time and an affair by me and counselling.   We don't fight but I am not attracted to him.  I am in love with my ex lover but I know it is wrong so in answer to your question yes you do need to stop seeing her and try and involve yourself more with your family and eventually it will feel better.  but i know that pain in your heart you must be feeling when you think of never seeing her again, it will go away  TIME IS A HEALER , the family is the most important thing to keep together at all costs

Answer 9

Yes, it will fade with time.  I think it's natural to feel "what if" but that's not what you've chosen.  Focus on yourself, your family and that which you can control.  You should feel as if you made the right decision and not dwell on the past, for your sake and your family's sake.