Did you have it hard growing up? Do you have children?

Question

Do you use your experiences in your parenting style? Does it make you a strict, lient, or understanding parent?

Answer 1

No, I have the best parents.  I had a great growing up experience.  Now my parenting style is a lot more relaxed that what I experienced as  a child.  I do not sweat the small things.    my parents did not sweat the small things, but alot more things are smaller with me.

Answer 2

My childhood was not the best, my dad was violent and abusive my mum was a drunk and my brother died when i was almost 7.

I hated every moment of it!

I now have my own child of 3 and a half and the way i parent him is due to the way i was parented, im no where near as strict with him as perhaps i should be. I try not to live my childhood through him if that makes sense, i just want him to have a better life than i did.

My childhood messed up my teenage life and i dont want the same thing to happen to him, kids have it hard enough as it is without being screwed up from an early age

Answer 3

i think i had a great childhood.  we were dirt poor but we always had fun.  my parents taught me about what is really important in life and i try to do the same for my kids.  

my parents divorced when i was 7 and instead of being bitter about it i just take it as a learning experience.  i didnt get married till i was sure that i had found my soul mate.  

i would say i have taken some from my parents ideas about parenting and incorporated my own also.  i just do what works and kinda play it by ear. i think thats all you can do.

Answer 4

you could say i had a hard childhood. but i dont remember ever being a child. i remember being an adult in a childs body. my parents where to busy with their own lives to raise me as  a normal child, they treated me as another adult. at 8 i was basicly raising my little sisters and brother. and at 19 with 2 children of my own, i will make sure  to have my kids have a normal childhood. at 19 i feel 40. and thats sad.

Answer 5

I grew up in a rough environment, so I pretty much had a awful childhood. I don't have kids and I really doupt that I will have any children in my life.

Answer 6

I had a great childhood up until my mother died and my step mother came along. She was abusive. I won't go into detail though.

I am a mother of two girls and trying to be the best mother for them and show them lots of love just like my own mother. I am not strict but I do set boundaries and rules and expect them to be followed

Answer 7

I was abused emotionally, mentally and physically by my parents.  I grew up in a horrible home with neglect and guilt.  I left home at 17 and never looked back.  I don't talk to my parents very often now.  My father is married and has a whole new family, my mother is chasing dreams with a married man who lied about his identity.  I forgave them long ago and I hope they are happy and have what they wanted all along.  My 18 year old sister lives with my father and his new family.  I talk to him maybe once every 3 months and my mother maybe once a month.  

I have a 20 month old and a son due in Sept.  I took 8 years of heavy therapy and even some anti deppresants at times to get over my past and when I felt ready parenting classes.  I'm a good Mom to my daughter and she's very advanced and intellegent and very happy.  I think it's because I was prepared to have children and did what I needed to do.  The most important thing a person can give their children is a happy, healthy and positive environment with exploration and limits with a consistant and positive attitude.  We all have the right and the capabilities.

Answer 8

I learned from my parents' mistakes and tried my hardest not to repeat them.  My parents also have a few good qualities (nobody is all bad) that I try to emulate.  I'm stricter on some things and more lenient on others, and definitely more understanding and in touch with my kids than my parents ever dreamed of.

Answer 9

My childhood was hard because I was very neglected. Not to the point of having no food or clothes, but just a complete lack of love, affection or even attention. Needless to say, this has caused me mental problems that I will probably never overcome.

It has affected my parenting in several ways- first, I decided to be a stay-at-home mom so that my child would know I was NOT ignoring him. I spend alot of time with him and if he ever comes up to me for anything, I pay attention to him. The only downside of this is that I probably go overboard because he thinks the whole world revolves around him. Or maybe that is just because he is four.

Answer 10

I didn't have a hard childhood at all. Even though both my parents worked their a$$es off day and night to provide for us(5 kids) we didn't get everything we wanted but they did as best they could,and I have children now and the way I was raised is how I raise my children. They do not get everything they want but we do what we can(seeing as we,my husband and I,are in the same boat as my parents were) they know that whining doesn't get them whatever they want. And I,like my parents,will be strict with my children in certain aspects because it made me into the person I am today and I would very much like my children to grow up knowing right from wrong and not being spoiled.

Sorry to offend anyone if I did

Answer 11

I don't have a kid, but I'm 47 so I've been around the block.  I was in a dysfunctional family (we all are from dysfunctional families really) and was raised with lots of yelling and negative reinforcement among other things that I've had to climb out of as influences on my life as an adult.  

I think how you are raised will definitely influence your parenting methods.  However, I think it's important that you have an awareness of how your experience is influencing your parenting methods.  If you think your natural instincts are steering you wrong, surf the web and look for advice on a particular issue you are having.  Talk with friends that have kids.  Even ask your parents, they may have matured a great deal more since you were a kid.  Seek counseling.  Then take the best of the best of your findings and work hard to implement your new improved parenting findings so your kids will have an advantage where you did not.  I think it is fair to kids that a parent to try to achieve a kind of balance in how they raise their kids, not an easy thing to do.  There will be some good and some bad things that will happen, just try to do the right thing, and don't leave it to fate or to chance.  If you do, then you will repeat the mistakes of your parents and hand those negatives on to another generation to hand on to their children.  If you just work at it, a very difficult thing to do on a day-to-day basis, then your kids will have a fighting chance to grow up with their heads on straight and a set of positive parenting skills to pass on to their children.

Answer 12

I had a very crappy childhood. I have learned that I am for sure raising my babies alot better life then what I ever had. No I don't use any experiences in parenting my children as to what my parents did with me. Since my childhood was so crappy I think that I baby my kids a little bit more then what I should.

Answer 13

Yes, I had a very crappy childhood.

I think it makes me kind of strict.  My parents let us do whatever we wanted most of the time, we were home alone all day, every day.  

I think I will keep a much closer eye on my kids.