Did you have unrealistic expectations about babies/kids/parenting in general before you had kids?

Question

What did you specifically expect that was SO different in reality?

**For me it was how drastically my children affected my sleep and for how many years. I really just don't sleep the same any more.

Answer 1

No, I have always worked with kids and practically raised my two younger brothers...the thing that did catch me off guard was that I honestly did not know there was still pain after birth...I had to episiotomy after my first and I could not walk, sit, lay stand for like 2 weeks and I cried everyday cause I had no help and because I NEVER in a million years thought it would hurt that bad after I came home from having a baby...that was my biggest thing that I didn't not know about.

Answer 2

the only thing i didn't expect before i had kids was to love someone as much as love my parents but i do there my life and sole

i did quite a bit of babysitting before i had my little lot so i new about no sleep how to make bottles and how 2 change bums

Answer 3

I think I was pretty well prepared in general, for parenting, but I was definitely unprepared for how different and individual every child really is. I can't even parent each of my kids the exact same way, although they're so similar in some ways they're so different in others.  So I would say I've definitely learnt that one size doesn't fit all when it comes to raising children..

I was also unprepared for an extremely high needs baby, which my eldest daughter was.  I couldn't believe that the human body really can survive on less than 3 hours sleep a day lol!

Answer 4

no, I'd done enough babysitting to have a good idea of what I was in for.  I'd also been a teacher for several years and knew about how kids think and act.

Answer 5

lol... oh, yah. I realize how unrealistic now, when I talk to one of our friends who has no children, but has some very strong opinions about what other parents are doing "wrong" (I truly cannot wait until she has children :) )

I hadn't spent much time at all with little kids before having my daughter... my unrealistic expectations started from pregnancy... I REALLY wanted to enjoy being pregnant (be a great earth mama, all that). I hated most of being pregnant, and I felt terrible about that... until I realized that it didn't make me a bad parent... just sick of being sick :)

My other biggies were underestimating how smart kids are... little kid logic is incredible... kids are incredibly smart; and underestimating the impact of 100% unconditional love on how you make decisions about everything from bedtime to breakfast to discipline to employment. I fully expected to love my daughter more than air... but, until you do it, it's like having a concrete understanding of "infinity," right? You can't know what unconditional and unlimited love means until you feel it.

Ooh, and before I had kids, I used to assume that the parents of children who pitch temper tantrums in places like shopping malls must be HORRIBLE parents... Yah. Right. :) (I know better now :) )

Answer 6

Yes! I believe everyone does. What I found hilarious was the imaginary idea that I would have complete control all the time, and my kids would never act out in public. After three kids we all realize that there is no ideal grocery trip, and even the person with the utmost patience wants to pull their hair at times. The number one thing I found out about myself was that all my dreams of this "perfect parenting" mantra just flew out the window when I had kids. Each one is different in his/her own way, and therefore, must be parented in a different fashion. Not that I treat my children drastically different from each other, but each has their own way that I can go about disciplining them due to their personalities. I found this website very helpful after reading it! Thought I would share it :)

http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/05...

This website focuses on how sleep patterns affect our health. Keeping your children on a strict schedule will allow you to achieve that good nights rest you had before you had kids.

http://altmedangel.com/melaton.htm

Answer 7

When I had my first baby I actually thought it would have been HARDER.  She was SO easy.  Sleeping through the night at 2 weeks, not a crier at all.  She's 14 now and just starting to give me trouble, but nothing at all like what I put my mother through, it just seems so bad because I've had it so good until now.

My daughter spoiled me and I decided to have another baby soon after.  She was 18 months when I had my son.  I was planning for 4 total.  Well, my son was a colicky baby and I decided after him I was done, lol.  Couldn't do that again.  He's 12 and still won't let me out of his sight for an hour.  I go somewhere and he calls to ask when I'm coming home, he goes to my sisters and has a great time for a few hours and then as soon as someone mentions my name, he misses me and wants to come home.  Told me that he'll live with me until he buys a house, and then I'll have to move in with him!  THAT...I didn't expect.  lol

Answer 8

Yes.

I had 17 nieces when my elder boys were born, and nothing prepared me. Then my younger twins (5months old) are completely different again.

I didn't expect all these little things to happen. Each one of my sons is special in their own way, and getting used to that special someone is hard work.

My youngest is an incredibly high care baby. He is on a 30 minute day time feeding routine, and a 1 hour night feeding routine. I don't sleep much, or have much of a life, but I am a happy mummy all the same.  

Answer 9

Before I got pregnant, I never really thought about the idea of having children and what being a parent would be like.  After all my husband and I were wild and free we went on motorcycle journeys sometimes for hours at a time.  We were never home always out doing something eat out, making light trips where we would spend the night at a hotel or something.  Then when I did get pregnant reality sank in and I realized that we were both about to become parents but it still didn't sink in the lack of sleep, the money raising a child took, the extreme emotional and mental fatigue.  When our son was born, he was very delightful although he had colic and I knew exactly what to do at every turn and stage.  Now he is two years old and I sleep less now than when he was a newborn.  I am always at stress because of all the bad behavior he has lately.  He's a really sweet boy just a two year old.  And now it's even more difficult for me because i use to know what to do, but now I don't. So parenting has definitely sunk in now.