Did you regret your decision to go with joint custody over full custody?

Question

Did you regret your decision to go with joint custody over full custody?

Answer 1

Absolutely.

It only works if the bitterness can be dealt with, or two people who can only see the kids needs. Unfortunately, it ends up becoming a weapon far too often. I would never do it again willingly.

Answer 2

I've heard that joint custody never really works out as well as full as far as your wishes go for your child, but joint is easier to negotiate in your divorce settlement and probably less stressful on the kid (depending who the parents are).

Answer 3

i would if i was a mother

Answer 4

No --- because I have full custody.

I really wanted us to get along, and to have joint custody, but unfortunately, my ex-husband is a deadbeat dad who doesn't believe he needs to provide for his child.

Also, he is unstable mentally, and cannot take a decision to save his life (moves from job to job, appartment to appartment, girl to girl), and firmly believes it's the man's job to take all the decisions. He tried to tell me how I should raise my son in MY home after we were separated, when my son should sleep, he'd call me to yell at me... so there was no way joint custody would be the best interest for my son, his father simply made that impossible.

However, one of my friends separated from her boyfriend when her son was barely two. They had joint custody, 1 week on 1 week off, and I think they did an awesome job. They had remained friendly, he and his family (his parents, brother, etc) all came to the child's second birthday to her house, so that the child knew he was loved by everyone. They are an example of a successful joint custody situation: They put their child's needs above their own anger at each other. (Ok, so they actually got back together after like 8 months apart, which is great for them!). Joint custody allows (often) equal access to the parents, which children often need. It also prevents the financial burden from being on only 1 parent: What they did is, whoever had the kid that week, paid for daycare and other expenses. They bought the clothes together and were traveling it back and forth.

Anyways... I wish that could of happened with my ex and I, but it's out of the question: The guy left me, cheated on me, beat me, yet HE can't be in the same room as me with our child... I don't love him anymore, but I do believe if we got along better, it would be beneficial for our child.. At least, I'm doing all I can to ensure the best decisions are made about our son...

Answer 5

No, I haven't regretted it for a second.  My ex and I have been divorced for almost 7 years and I'm thrilled that he plays such an integral part in their lives.  Children need the stability of knowing that they have two parents who love them and want to be with them.  Regardless of what some people believe, it does make a difference.  My children are definitely well adjusted and self-confident kids.  I believe that having us both as a presence in their lives and the fact that we put them first has ensured this for them.  I've been around several of their friends whose parents are divorced and not sharing custody and there is a definite difference in them.  I think that sharing custody is the best gift divorced parents can offer their children in an already jacked up situation.

Answer 6

I wouldnt want my ex to have joint custody, but that ends up in the judges hands.....