Did you take back your spouse after they lived with someone else?

Question

Just curious to know if anyone has been in my shoes. My husband had an affair and I ended up kicking him out. He ended up living by himself for awhile and then with his girlfriend for a year. We were separated for 2 years total. During this time he was telling me what a mistake she was and how much he wanted to come home. She moved out and their relationship fizzled. His lease was up 5 months later and he moved home. We are trying to move forward now and are making some progress.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation. Where you were separated from your spouse, they lived with someone else and then moved home. I believe in marriage and want to see if we can work it out. I need to see if we stil have things in common besides our marriage and our daughter. If you have been in this situation, did you work things out? How long did it take? Was it worth the fight in the end?

Answer 1

h**l NO!!!!!!!!!!!! I would never take trash back in my home.

Answer 2

i don't think i could get past this - thinking about their 2 years together when they lived together. i believe in marriage too, but only if both parties can try to make it work.  

Answer 3

Most affairs end just as you described.  Putting the pieces back together is tough.  In my case, it didnt work out and we happily divorced.  I cannot tell you if she regrets the divorce.  I suspect maybe sometimes a little.  However, I don't regret the split. I am very happy living with my kids alone.

My two cents:  life is a learning experince.  It's about progress not perfection.  Give it a year.  Work on communication.  Perhaps trust will find you once again if you are both sincere.  Best of luck.  

    

Answer 4

he only came back because all was not well in paradise, she dumped him.if he loved her enough to be with her, he made a choice, and totally disrespected u. i would have let him stay gone because u never get over this,maybe a one night stand, could be an error in judgment but not where they physically moved out and left u hanging,to be with someone else.he moved home because he doesn't like living alone.i took back my first ex, kept believing he loved me, but the cheating continued. and it only prolonged the heartbreak.

Answer 5

It's hard to say what anyone would do in your situation.  I am going through a situation where my wife will be moving out on her own and will probably have to go through it as well.  I don't know if she is seeing anyone else and my gut feeling tells me yes.  The only thing that I can say is that people can forgive but not forget and if you really love your partner, than the both of you will try to work things out not just for the kids but as well as yourselves.  Keep in mind that if you are going to try to make this work, than neither you or him can bring up stuff that happened in the past.  I'm not saying not to talk about it and share what you felt now, but if you want this to work, you have to learn to let go.  

Answer 6

My wife moved out… to be with her boyfriend… while my heart would love for her to come home... I couldn’t do it to her. I would never be able to trust her again… always suspicious of phone calls, emails, text messages, why was she out longer today than yesterday… Without the trust, there could never really be a good relationship.

Answer 7

I was never in this situation but my brother was. His wife took him back and after a couple of years they slit up again and are still not together. What you and your husband need to do is work on what caused the affair in the first place. He also needs to make restitution to you. He needs to earn your trust and not expect you to simply take him back. I for one could not take my husband back, but we all are different and I am sure there have been couples that were able to overcome it. IF you and your husband find you can then good for you and I do wish you all the best.  

Answer 8

Im going through it right now...my wife left after she cheated...started about a year ago but she lkeft the home completely 6 months ago. I am not at the part where she comes back though...I dont know how I am going to react to it if it ever happens