Did your father leave, and you never got to know him?

Question

My hubby's father is not in his life. He was not really in his life when he was little either. He saw him when he was one, eight and then his mom got her kids taken away from her when he was 14 and was forced to go and live with his father.

He has very mixed emotions towards him.

So I guess my question is how do you feel towards your father/mother for leaving and never having anything to do with you?

What were your emotions, thoughts all that good stuff?????

Answer 1

My mother and I moved away from my father when I was 3yrs old. My father, from what i've heard, was abusive towards my mother although I can't remember this. I visited my father a few times during my young childhood, but nothing more as i've gotten older. My father is (now) a drug user and I shouldn't have to put up with him doing that while i'm in his house.

When I was young I never really cared about growing up without a father. I always had my mother, grandma and other family members around me. Now though, I can see the impact it's had on me. My mother got married a few days ago to a man she's known for 1 year and even though i've known him for that length of time as well, I really have no idea how to interact with a father figure. I don't know how a father-daughter relationship is ment to be like. I really resent my biological father for making it unsafe for my mother and I to stay living with him, and I resent the fact that he no longer keeps in contact with me. However, I have to get on with life and forget about him. He's never been a part of my life and never will be if he continues to live how he's living now.

Answer 2

well...honestly, it scars you for life. being a female, i have no idea how to even start talking with a guy i like because i never had a male figure in my life. i also don't think i could hold a healthy relationship because i've never seen one. my father was around after the divorce...but i never really saw him. i only saw him every once in a while and i felt guilty because i went over to his house to watch tv because he had cable (my mom refused to get cable then). i never felt like i got to know him well and if he were to die, i would feel like there were lose ends i never got to tie. and the other thing that always hurts to think about is that he didn't even give enough of a d**n to keep a lot of contact with his children. my mother always used to yell at my sister and i and tell us that no one loved us, and an example of that is our father (but that's a whole different story with my psycho mother...and making us feel guilty for the split and just about anything else that went wrong in her life, even though we had nothing to do with it all). i always looked at kids with that had both of their parents and wished they could see that they were actually really lucky. i never had a dad's lap to sit in and wish a "happy father's day" or anything like that. but, it messes a person up not to have both parents and it stings worse when they don't care about you unless they absolutely have to.