Did your husband or boyfriend stay at the hospital with you or leave after the baby was born?

Question

SO i was talking with my 2 sister in laws and my sister about my bag and what i have ready. I said i had pants for my husband and one of my sister in-laws and my sister asked why i needed them. My sister in law said that she made her husband go home after each birth. Which i found out was a lie. He stayed with the first one and was willing to with the 2nd but no one would wacth there other son. I found that out from my husband. MY sister i know her husband WOULD NOT stay no matter what not cuz he couldn't or had to work but because he would rather play video games. My other sister in law didn't say anything. This made me feel bad and so i talked to my husband who pointed out that about his sister in law also that her mom works at the hospital and she lives in that town. I'm going to the same hospital but i know NO ONE there and i'm from 45 miles away i just moved up here to a town about 20 miles away. This is my third kid and his first other 2 are from my ex but does that really matter. If he's willing to stay and wants to should i still feel bad that i'm have'in him. By the way my mom is going to wacht my other 2 and he hates staying sleeping in our bed with out me. I want to know what you think about this and if yours stayed with you or not. and was it cuz he had to work you didn't want him to or what

Answer 1

I never heard of a husband NOT staying, unless of course they have to watch the other kids. I like to have my husband there. If he wanted to leave (just because he wanted to) I would be upset.

Answer 2

My hubby stayed the whole time, I had to make him leave to go pick up dinner (because I did NOT want hospital food) We were there for 3 days and he wouldn't even go home to shower, he used the one in the room lol:)

Answer 3

When I had my kids, my now ex-hubby, didn't stay overnight with our first baby because i was bottle feeding and back then the nurses would take your baby to the nursery for you, i got pain meds and got lots of wonderful sleep, there was no need for him to stay and i think he needed to sleep as much as i did.  With our 2nd child he did stay because that hospital did not do the whole nursery at night thing and i was exhausted and felt like c**p, so he stayed so he could take care of the baby thru the night so i could rest, with my 3rd baby he again did not stay because he had to go home and take care of our other 2 children.  with this baby(i am about 17wks) my new dh and i aren't sure what we will do yet, if i really need him he will stay since my mom and aunt have said they will watch the kids, but i am also fine with being alone, it might be nice to have that special bonding time alone with the baby.

don't worry about what anyone else in the family has done, do what you and your hubby want to do and what makes you both happy, this is your special time.

best of luck!

Answer 4

don't worry about what other people do.  if you want him to stay have him stay.  its nobodys business. i think its great for him to stay with you.  you guys are equal partners, might as well start bonding asap.

i think i would want my husband to spend the night.  i used to work on the maternity floor and they have pull out beds for dads/partners to sleep in.

EDIT: i can't believe how different hospitals can be.  isabel said that she had to share a room.  at the hospital i used to work at,  the maternity floor all had private rooms.  the birthing room was the private room you was assigned to.  if you end up wiht a c section they of course move you.

you also get choices. you can keep the baby as long as you want. if you needed to rest they will take care of the baby for you.  you can have overnight visitors mostly dads/partners.

Answer 5

My husband was with me from the minute I went in until the minute baby and I left.

He did everything for me--helped me to the bathroom, changed my sheets, got me clean pads when I ran out, refilled my water pitcher, changed the baby if I was sleeping, and went to the cafeteria to get me snacks...as a matter of fact, the only time I saw the nurse was when she came in to do her assessment.

Answer 6

My husband stayed, but also went home to do things etc...  

Answer 7

My husband stayed and I would've been sad if he didn't.  I also had two other kids from my ex and no that doesn't matter.  We live in the same town as our hosptial and its a small town so my hubby did leave to go home and take a shower/ get something to eat, but he came right back and stayed the night with us.  He took off work for 2 days but on my last day the hospital he had to go back, but he left work to come pick us up.

  

Answer 8

I had massive problems with getting my 3 month old son to sleep.  He would just lie awake and cry for hours, then when he finally went to sleep he would wake every hour or two hours through the night and cry again!  Talk about pulling our hair out .... we were absolutely desperate for sleep!

It was a baby sleep audio program recommended by a friend that finally saved us. We followed the advice and began by creating a baby sleep routine which included bathtime, dimming of the lights, putting Paul into his crib, final nappy change and then lullabies. We also made recommended changes to his naps during the day and used some of the other recommended techniques. Within two weeks he was sleeping through the night most nights with just the odd night where he would just wake once!

Definitely start by creating a good baby sleep routine though and you could find that solves most of your baby sleep problems.

Good luck!

If you want to take a look, the audio program is at http://www.babysleepsolution.com

Answer 9

My boyfriend plans on staying the first night but then he'll unfortunately have to go back to work so he may not be able to the rest.

Answer 10

Have him stay if he wants to stay. If he doesn't sleep or gets cranky or anything send him home.

Answer 11

For all 3 births of our kids he stayed with me until I got out. I personally loved it since he was there to help me. I sent him to get me food or something to drink if I didn't like what the hospital gave me. Plus he would  call and talk to everyone after the baby was born which was also great 'cause I really didn't feel like doing it. I just loved having my husband there.

I think you should do whatever you feel is right for you!

Answer 12

My hubby will stay with me as he has been saving all his vacation days for the big arrival. He also will assist me at home with everything. I wanted my to stay ...so he should stay if he wants to! Good luck!

Answer 13

All my pack your bag emails had said to pack a change of clothes for your partner.  We like 20 miles away and my man is going to stay too.  What you want is what you guys should do, don't do it because you feel bad about other's who's men didn't stay.

PS My dad stayed with my mom with all three of us and that was over 30 years ago.

Answer 14

Whatever works best for you is what you should do.  My husband never stayed the night at the hospital.  With our first son, he was there most of the day, but with all of the others, this just wasn't possible.  He needed to spend more time with them to give them some normalcy.  He would bring them to the hospital to see the baby, but we kept these visits fairly short.  It can get rather hectic.  You need to do what you and your husband decide is best for the 2 of you.  Whether he stays or does not is not an indication of his love and devotion to you or your baby.  It's more a matter of what is more comfortable to him.  I would prefer my husband to go home for the night, but that's just me.

Answer 15

My husband has been there with me, through all three of my deliveries, and hospital stays, and he'll do the same for this last one... It's a little uncomfortable for him (those dang recliners!), but he won't dare complain: he knows I just went through far worse! ;) It's nice having him there, and even our kids stay. After all, it's always been for only 24 hours, after birth. (This time, I'm getting a maternity suite; much larger, and more comfortable!)

Answer 16

My husband was there and only went home to shower and get a little rest.

Answer 17

You need a private room for the hubby to stay, I didn't have one so my hubby had to go home. If I ever have another kid though, I am getting private and having him stay, just because the first night was awful I was sooooooo tired and you get no sleep (They don't have nurseries anymore here, so you take care of this newborn right after delivery). >.>

Answer 18

With my first child, my husband took a few sick days and stayed with me in the hospital, but after I went home, he had to go back to work. With this child, I'm expecting the same thing. I think my mom is going to watch my other one for me.

Answer 19

I would def. wan tmy husband to be there with me, and he did. and i also think that a man should want to be there for his wife and birth of his child. tell him to be with you, he may be a lil bored, but when the time comes he will cherish it always.

Answer 20

My husband stayed with me the whole time I was in the hospital which was a total of 4 days because my son was in the NICU. It really depends on the hospitals rules and whether he wants to stay or not.

Answer 21

If you want him to stay and he wants to then by all means. Who cares what the SIL's say or did. My 1st he stayed in the hospital. My last one hubby couldn't stay because he had to take my daughter to school and I had c-sections so was there 3-5 days.  

Answer 22

My husband stayed with me all 3 nights. We live an hour away from the hospital but he never once said anything about going home. We will be having #2 soon and he will be staying with me again. We wouldn't have it any other way. It's a time for mom and dad to bond with the baby. Good Luck!!

Answer 23

Let him stay with you if he wants to, my husband stayed almost the whole with me when  i had  are 2 boys, he spent the night they had a coach for him to sleep on in my room.   it was very nice having  his help.

Answer 24

I don't have any children (yet...) but if I did, I would want my husband to stay with me at the hospital unless he really couldn't (e.g. had to work, couldn't get any time off, etc. which is probably unlikely because I'm sure his company would allow him to take time off since his wife (that would be me) just had a baby).  but i digress... Regardless of what your SIL's husband or your sister's husband did, the very fact that your own husband  WANTS to stay with you is so GREAT!!!  You truly have a keeper who loves you and cares for you.  If he wants to stay with you, then let him.  Don't push him away.  This is his first child and I'm sure he is ecstatic and wants to relish the experience and bond with mother and child.  So don't feel bad at all. Feel good that your husband wants to be with you.