Did your parents use the cry it out method with you? Are you emotionally "scarred"?

Question

Ok... first of all please note this is NOT a debate about whether or not we should use the cry it out (CIO) method. I understand that is great for some and not for others.

The theory that it should not be used is based on the belief that the child will believe his or parents will not be there when they are needed and they also feel "unimportant".... (e.g... I am not important enough for mum to come running when I cry).

I am trying to do a bit of simple research and find out whether this is true... so I'd love for as many people as possible to answer the following questions

1. Did your parents use CIO on you as a baby/child

2. On a scale of 1-10 what would you rate your self-esteem/self-worth. (with 1 being.... no self-esteem (why would people like me) and 10 being completely confident (everybody loves me...and of course they should lol)

Oh and just for an added question maybe also tell me if your parents co-slept with you.

Thanks

Answer 1

My parents did use that method on me...and no, i'm not emotionally scarred

I think I have a pretty average self-esteem, same as any woman really...never 100% but i'm happy with myself

The theory of leaving your baby to cry it out may sound mean but it works in the long run, its hard to understand until you have a baby of your own

the problem is that babies are smarter than people give them credit for, and once they realize that every time they cry their parents come rushing to them, they will use this not just for emergencies but for EVERYTHING

they will cry for everything and anything...you have to be the judge of when to comfort and when to leave them to cry. Don't be weak because that is the biggest mistake any parent can make

and for the co-sleeping, my parents didnt do it with me, but I did with my baby and I would not recommend it...at all, they get really clingy and become afraid to do things on their own

Answer 2

d

Answer 3

1.  No, may parents always used modified attachment parenting techniques on all of us (I have 5 siblings)

2.  I have very low self esteem (about a 3), but that's due to a rape in my past, it has nothing to do with my parents.  I had very high self esteem (I would guess about an 8) before it happened.

I slept in my parent's room, sometimes in their bed sometimes not for about the first 2 or 3 years of my life.  After that I knew that their bed was always open (unless there was a baby in it, in which case we could set up out pillow and blanket on the floor next to their bed, we had carpeted floors).  

Answer 4

No. I was and still am a very overly protected overly spoild child. :/

Answer 5

well i was, and am a very spoiled little girlie so i was subjected to the CIO method a few times. i am very confident, though now when i get upset i want to be alone and cry, i dont really like to sit with someone holding me while i cry; but does anyone really want to be around anyone when theyre upset?

Answer 6

no and no

Answer 7

1. My parents did not use the CIO method on me as a baby nor did they co-sleep with me.

2. I had a baby 10 weeks ago and I am having a hard time losing the baby weight, so right now my self esteem is about a 5.  But, generally speaking I am a very happy person and my self esteem is usually at a 8.

Answer 8

Hi!

My parents did the CIO method.

1) 1 (i have worked very hard to obtain self-esteem, and managed to finally love myself - age 30....!!)

I used the same method on my daughter (when I was 23, I didn't know better and listened to health personnel).

she has low self-esteem.

Now with my baby born this year, we have practiced the continuum-concept, have the babt carried close to our bodies at all times and co-sleep with him, now also my daughter.

it has resulted in;

my daughters self-esteem has increased, drastically- she does not take everything personal anymore. Also she sleeps STILL (earlier she tossed around in bed, legs outstretched in our face, hands slapping me in the head and so on.. lol).

As for our son.. wow.

He is VERY happy all the time, never cries (unless he has a stomach-ache, or is VERY hungry when he wakes up;)), he is really in harmony with himself!

So my exp. with co-sleeping / carrying children all the time is GREAT!

It makes the child content, happy, great self-esteem (why wouldn't anyone love ME? lol;))!!

CIO traumatizes you... :)

hope this answers your question properly! ;)

Answer 9

As a psychology major and a "neo-erikson" (search for "Erik Erikson" if you're curious), I've questioned my parents' upbringing on me many times.

1. I was never allowed to just wait it out. It was usually my father who came to comfort me.

2. I'd say an 8. I'm very confident on my personality, but see improvements in my body that I'm working on. With that you can't out rule culture -  "If I'm not super skinny, I'm not beautiful". (American upbringing) I'd like to think I'm not overruled by culture, but that could be jaded seeing as how I'm "normal" by BMI (in the middle) but I'm still not happy with my body.

As for co-sleeping - my father did that when I happened to fall asleep on him, my mother made a habit of it; I consider my father my best friend, while I have almost no relationship with my mother.

Answer 10

My parents used the CIO method most of the time.  It was really hard for my mom because my brother and I are 14 Months apart and it is difficult to be in two places at once.  If we were sick or something odvesiouly she didn't used the CIO method.

I never felt like I was unimportant.  I remember my mom talking to me about working things out by myself.  She explained it for my age; and whenever I did "cry it out" she did acknowledge it and tell me she was proud of me.  my mom is a very loving and supporting person.  both of those factors has made me a very independant person; with the self confidence to follow what I believe in, no matter what other people say.

Oh, and my parents NEVER slept in bed w/ us.  I remember on Friday nights my mom and dad would let us watch a movie in their bed, but once it was over, or we fell asleep, they put us in our own beds.  that is one thing i am DEFENITLY thankful for.

hope I helped!

Answer 11

if CIO is what i think it is they did use it on me as a child (they put me outside in a pram once to stop me crying lol), as for my self esteem, its VERY low, but trust me when i say this, its not due to that lol, i cant even remember it (most people cant remember anything before they were 4, and those who can are liars), i would say my dad leaving and being bullied at school realy contributed the most, so yea, do it, if you dont like it, dont worry, he wont remember lol

Answer 12

When I was really young they did. They would just ingnore me until I stopped and then we would do something fun. It is hard to rate my self confidence and self worth back then. Where they really messed up was when I got older. I would cry and they would just ignore me. This was when I was 7-10, somewhere around there. This made me feel worthless like they didn't care if I was sad. The CIO method can be good but there is a point where you need to stop using it and start actually talking to your kid. And no on the co-sleeping.

Answer 13

1. no they didn't 2. about 7  3.no they didn't

Answer 14

I am guessing most people can't remember if their parents used the CIO method, unless they go ask them.  

1. I don't think they used the CIO method

2. 10

Didn't co-sleep