Difference between tantrum and meltdown

Question

I'm asking this because I hear two terms being used right now for behavior of children. One refers to as meltdown and tantrum.

My daughter has autism and somedays she does well with transitions but other days she throws these massive fits over changes like telling her to go inside after playing outside that can last for 20 minutes and she's screaming and crying out of control.

I try to pick her up and she runs from me but when I manage to pick her up she goes stiff and continues.

I've managed to get her out of it until recently. It seems all the coping mechanisms we've worked on aren't working anymore.

She will do this in public as well and I'll take her to another room to calm her down.

What is the difference between tantrum and meltdown?

Answer 1

Well a meltdown i think is like a breakdown where you hold everything in and then finally let it all go.

and a tantrum is just where just throwing a fit becuase you dont like or want to do something.

Answer 2

Tantrum-the child is in control and can turn it off at will.  These are short in duration, can last several minutes

meltdown-lasting more than 20 minutes, is not in control, and child is overstimulated, and emotions boil over.  A meltdown can be cut shorter by doing some sensory intervention like removing overstimulation by going to another room.  A meltdown the sensory system is disorganized.  What helps is any organizer like bubbles, lollipop, deep pressure like jumping, inversion, vibration, etc.  With a tantrum there would be no change in the child's behavior from switching rooms.  

transitions

What you can do, is give her a warning that her time is up in 5 minutes.  Then again at 1 minute.  Then ring a bell.  She will adjust better and get used to this after a few times.  When going places if you give her a picture of it first, helps alot.

Answer 3

We have a 2 year old son. He will often have a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants, but these stop after a few minutes when he realises that he isn't getting it. However he will also have melt downs where he doesn't calm down, wants to be held but when we hold him he wants to be let go, any slight touch he says it hurts. These can last a long time (ususlly about 30 min but sometimes longer). They usually occur when things don't go right or when he doesn't understand why something is different.  

Answer 4

there is a difference to us, eg 'no you cant have jelly beans for breakfast' que in screaming toddler, or what ever, but both of these (normal tantys and distress tantrums) are the same in the childs head, when we say no or take something away they have all these emotions that their immature brains can not handle and that is why they scream and howl because it is a physical pain to them, that is the way their brains interperate it.

There is an amazing book on this and many other issues called science of parenting by margot sunderland, and I cant reccommend it highly enough. It will explain the difference to you and I think there is a section on autism too. Good luck

Answer 5

I find that my 12 month old daughter has a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants sometimes, but then she gets upset and it shifts to a meltdown. Or she knocks herself during the tantrum and then gets more upset and it becomes a meltdown. So they are different but they kind of blur into each other somewhat. (she's young so I generally try to distract her and comfort her)

A tantrum is more like frustration. She cries and kicks and lies on the floor. But it's like she's annoyed with me and wants something. Sometimes I can call her attention to something else.

A meltdown is when she's really lost control emotionally. She cries and cries and she's really upset. She can't calm herself, she needs help. Holding her sometimes is enough, or breastfeeding. Other times she's so worked up that I have to surprise her somehow like with a change in scene or swinging her around or upside down (gently and safely). That gets her out of her state so she can be comforted.

I find that going with my intuitive instinct helps me judge the difference and what to do at the time. My daughter can get really worked up too and it takes her a while to calm once she's really upset. I'm a bit the same - we're both intense emotionally.

Sorry I don't know specifically about how this would play out for a child with autism.

Answer 6

In my mind a tantrum is a result of the child not getting his or her way. They know what is wrong and what is right but also know that if they tantrum they will get what they want.

A meltdown is when things don't go the child's way but instead of misbehaving to get their own way, they meltdown because they just can't cope with things not fitting into their world. As you know, children with Autism cope best with strict routines and may suffer anxiety when things don't go as expected. That is when a meltdown occurs as they struggle to communicate their anxiety

Hope that makes sense