Different ideas about homeschooling?

Question

My family situation is very complicated, so I won't bother to explain that in full detail. The reason why I am asking for advice, however, is that some of the options for the coming year (which may possibly be mandatory), include homeschooling. Both my mom and younger sister are willing and happy to homeschool, and I think that it will work out very well.

The problem is that I think my mom has different ideas for me about homeschooling than I have for myself. She would "school" me (and my sister) in a structured environment, and although we would not spend 1 hour per day on English, 1 hour on math, 1 hour on science, etc., I would hope for something a little more relaxed.

My mom wanted to organize it like the public schools; completing their standards, going by their yearly organization, etc. I wanted to be able to learn about things when I am interested in them through reading historical fiction and biographies, watching educational TV programs and videos, etc.

Answer 1

If your mum wants structure, it's structure you are going to get :) However, you may be able to negotiate a little. I'd recommend you try and get your hands on a copy of "The Well Trained Mind." Your mum will like the structure of it, and once she's happy with the structure, you can start to negotiate. I'd also suggest you check out this site: http://www.amblesideonline.org/

Both the Classical method (as in The Well Trained Mind) and the Charlotte Mason approach focus a lot on literature, which sounds like it would suit you. Once you've found out what subjects your mum expects you to learn, you can start doing your research into different curriculums and other resources. For example, your mum insists you learn science. Fair enough. You hate physics and can't do it for the life of you, but are more than willing to learn biology, re-enforce this by extra reading on nutrition, by growing a garden and using this knowledge to cook dinner each night, and by reading biographies of famous scientists (Marie Curie is my favourite :). Chances are, Mum will be happy with that. She'll insist on English, but the books you read are probably negotiable. Being able to quote a source she respects will always help your case :) "'The Well Trained Mind' (or whoever) suggested this and this as reading for my age group," is a good way to approach mothers. She may want to set specific times for each subject, but perhaps she will be willing to assign subjects for each day, but allow you to complete them in whichever order you prefer.

I personally wouldn't allow you to read historical fiction as part of your schoolwork. That's for your own private reading. I would allow you to write it, however, if you footnoted carefully.

Good luck finding a system to keep everyone happy enough :)

Answer 2

First: I strongly encourage you to wait until this evening before you decide that you have an answer...many people who are very informed about homeschooling don't seem to be around right now and you should definitely hear their ideas.

Next, I encourage you to look up 'deschooling' and 'unschooling'. What you are describing is 'unschooling', which is unstructured learning that typically is started after a period of 'deschooling', which is when kids who have been in the schools adjust to being in a new learning environment.

Your mom is probably worried that you won't learn what you need to know. Based on the data, she doesn't need to worry. Get the studies and articles that show what students are able to accomplish with unschooling (or only slightly structured schooling), and show it to her so she feels better. You can look through previous answers for good websites, or else wait until later (or even ask it again this evening).

You need to look up the legal requirements in your state, to make sure you get what you are legally required to learn, but try to reassure your mom that you are not trying to get out of learning: that, in fact, you want to learn. Then, see if she will agree to a deal: for one month you are on your own for history and English and she will teach you on her schedule for math and science. Then, after the month, reevaluate. If you make good progress on your own, I bet she will reconsider her position.

Answer 3

What your mom is considering is, honestly, what most first-year moms consider when they start homeschooling.  Because we grew up in a highly structured school environment, we often know nothing else.

This is what I did to my son when we first started homeschooling, and the first 6 months or so were full of tears and groans.  I was constantly making sure that all pages were done (in first grade, no less), all i's dotted and t's crossed, so that I could show "them" that I was doing my job as a homeschool mom...whoever "they" are.  Wow, if I could only take back those actions.

About halfway through the year, I started to look at what some experienced homeschool families did - in some of them, each kid was on a separate curriculum and excelling; in others, they did multi-level unit studies that were amazing.  In still others, the high schoolers were pretty much independent and worked directly with their parents to set up their coursework.  And in others, kids were heavily involved in outside classes.

I realized that homeschooling means that I don't teach a curriculum - I teach my child.  I also realized that up through about 6th grade or so, that means that I don't teach according to state standards, I teach according to what he needs to learn.  For example:

*He learns history well in a chronological order, so that's how we do it - approximately one year on each section (Ancient world, Middle Ages, early modern, and modern), and then start over again and go through each time period at a deeper level.

*He is well above me already in math, so I have DVD-based and online resources ready for him.  A good friend of mine is a math professor and steps in whenever I need help.  I, in turn, teach her children foreign languages (I majored in linguistics).

*He loves science and enjoys researching it at a fairly deep level.  Most curriculum choices for anything lower than jr. high are built on a "sampler" level - spend a few weeks on each of a dozen topics or so - and don't work well for him.  So, I put together extended units that may take him several months, and he loves it.  I also have several audio, online, and DVD/video resources for him to take advantage of at any time.

*He's dyslexic, so he needs a different approach when it comes to language arts.  He has a writing program (IEW) that makes complete sense to him, and I use a variety of resources in teaching him spelling.  His reading is easily at grade level, but he wants to read complete works instead of excerpts, so I use complete books instead of reading textbooks.  I have a grammar curriculum that he enjoys and he also learns grammar through his writing and through foreign languages that he studies.

I also make units for him based on his Scout badges, which he really enjoys and digs into; he participates in plays, which help both his public speaking and reading comprehension; he has a job delivering flyers for a local businessperson, and he's starting a business selling baked goods to various people in town.  Through this he's learning math and chemistry (each recipe has its own chemstry, and if that chemistry is off, the results show it), computer skills (making flyers and spreadsheets), prioritizing and scheduling, and responsibility.

None of the above would be taught in a public school classroom, and if he were to enter one right now, there are likely things that he would be "behind" in.  There are also classroom practices that wouldn't make a l**k of sense to him.  I do have his studies scheduled out so that by the end of 6th grade, he will have the same body of knowledge that a public school would teach, as well as much, much more.

The public school teacher above brought up that point - if my son had entered school in 4th grade, he would have been behind in some things, and he would have struggled.  However, if he were to enter school in 7th or 8th grade, he would be likely to be at the head of his class.

I don't teach to the curriculum or the test - I teach to my child's needs.  I don't give a rat's patoot if a skill shows up on a grade level standardized test - if he's not ready to learn it until the next year, that's when it will be introduced.  In the long run, he will easily have the required skills and knowledge, and he'll  also have a lot more.  He'll be prepared for whatever he takes on in life because I teach to him, not to the test.

I would really recommend to have your mom talk with some veteran homeschoolers in your area, just to pick their brains about how to best set things up for you and your sister.  Check some books out from the library, go to your state or regional homeschooling convention, and come up with a structure - as a family - that works for each of you.

Good luck - and I hope this helps!

Edit - you and your mom may want to look into TRISMS as a curriculum, at least for you.  There is also a volume that is made for middle school that your sis may be able to use.  It is literature and research based, and includes credits for literally everything except for lab science and math.  It is on grade level and includes nearly everything you could want (outside of those two subjects).  It is also a lot more reasonably priced than an entire grade-level curriculum.  Here's the site: http://trisms.com/  It just sounded like what you're looking for, and the structure of it may be something that your mom would like.

Answer 4

You are not going to like this answer but I think your mum is right.  I understand what you suggest and it is a wonderful notion but in practice it probably wouldn't work.  From my experience of talking with Mum's who home school they can get through the curriculum quicker because there is not so many distractions as in a whole class but there is also not as much social interaction.  Social interaction can be combatted slightly by joining clubs for sport and arts as hobbies that can take care of that part of schooling.

If you manage to get through everything your mum wants in the morning then you will be free to spend some time in the afternoons learning the way you wish and achieve the levels you are required to achieve as well as higher with you learning what you 'want' to learn.

When situations lead to home schooling it is important that standards are reached but even with a structured environment you should have time to do both and increase extra curricular interests to give you a more rounded education.  Just make sure that you get the test results you will need in later life and enjoy your education as much as you can.

Answer 5

Homeschooling is the best way to fall behind in what you should be learning each year!!!

Doesn't every ninth grader in the world want to learn something when "they so choose"?!?!

Step up...go to public school, and get the education you need.  If you want to go to college, which is pretty much a necessity these days, DO NOT DO HOME SCHOOLING!!!

I teach fourth grade, and I have had two students, this year and last, that came from a home schooling situation.  They do nothing but struggle academically AND socially.  Forget about them passing state tests, and meeting state standards.  It is tough enough just to get them to pass to the next grade.

Do yourself, and your sister a favor...GO TO PUBLIC SCHOOL!!

Answer 6

You've gotten some good answers here already.  IF you are a motivated learner, then what you are wanting would work to some extent.

Someone pointed out that you'd have most afternoons to pursue your own learning, and that is an opinion I'd second.

Schooling, and homeschooling, gets more serious in high school.  I can see why your mom would want to be structured.  She wants to make sure that all the bases are covered.  There would be the chance that if you were left to choose the topics of learning that  you'd choose to learn only about a few topics.

Answer 7

I think your mom is a great "teacher" if she is willing to spend her day with you guys. It is very rare to see a person that homeschools that the why you described. You can sit down with your mom and tell her some of your ideas about you being homeschooled (if you dont like some of her ideas.) Just dont go overboard and tell her to change everything. Mayb convince her to watch some educated tv (TV is the best way to educate, mainly because it entertains as it teachs.) A child learns more from topics and school activities that interests them. Their are many school actities and experiments that are posted on the internet as well as in books.

(Oh and P.S. just because a person is home schooled doesnt mean that they are stupid, it really depends on the way they are taught by their home school teacher)

Answer 8

I think your mom is on the right path with wanting you to have structure and organization....  both will only make learning easier for you.  Ninth graders usually want to do everything on their own terms, but the reality is that life doesn't let you choose.  You do need to keep up with all curriculum... I think that if you are going to drag your feet about doing this then it isn't going to work for you, school would be your best option.

Answer 9

i think ur mom is a great teacher, trust me, once u start homeschooling, it will be different than both u imagined

Answer 10

You already have a bunch of great answers up above and a few not so great.

So, mostly, I'm going to relate our personal experience.

My son is currently in 9th by the way.

We started homeschooling later than many (middle school).  The first year, having formerly been a teacher, I was bound and determined to do at least as well as any public school could.

So... I went so far as to go to our State Dept. of Ed. and download the Standards of Learning for my son's grade level. I used it as a checklist.  I made darn sure he mastered every single thing on the SOLs (yep, that is the acronym) plus some.

Now... as a teacher, I know that teachers do not cover all of the standards of learning for every single subject and I know that students don't master all of them.  But, like I said, I felt that we had something to prove - even if just to ourselves.

We were structured!  We started and ended on a schedule.  Everything on a schedule.

By the end of that first year, we were quite burned out.  

We have relaxed a lot since then and the actual learning and accomplishment has sky-rocketed.  The enjoyment of learning is back.

Bottom-line, at least for us, the rigid structure actually dampened the learning and most certainly the enthusiasm and pure joy of discovery and learning that everyone has until it is suppressed.

My advice: follow your mom's lead for now.  I say this for several reasons: 1) she is in charge and responsible; 2) she is taking this approach because she wants to do a great job for you; 3) she sounds like a very smart person and she will come around!

Don't listen to the "you'll never get into college" comments.  That is simply untrue.

Answer 11

My advice would be to talk to her, find out if she'd be willing to work with you on creating a plan. That's the only way to possibly move things more in the direction you'd like them to.

If that fails, then you'll have to follow your own interests when you're done the other work.

Answer 12

Well, you and your mom have to negotiate. Tell her about your ideas and give her examples of what you'd like to study, how and when. As your mom, she may feel a pressure to quantify what you are learning. She is responsible for your education, after all. Give her time and support her. It may take her time to loosen up and let natural learning take place. Since you sound like the more laid back of you family, it may be on you to make sure Mom does not burn out while she makes sure you stay on task. You sound like a great team. Good luck!

EDIT: Please consider that the teacher's opinions of homeschool are based entirely on her experience with only two children. I have met far more public school students who struggle socially and academically and cannot pass state tests.

EDIT: The teacher above wrote me an email stating that she really just thinks the asker is lazy and she cannot imagine staying home with her kids. She disabled her email before I could ask her if she really even had dysfunctional homeschoolers in her class or if she was disingenuous about that too. I am speachless................

EDIT: Thumbs down for stating the truth? Nice.

Answer 13

You write well and think clearly for a 9th grader.  

I'm tempted to ask for a trade and you can come to my house and I'll send my son to your house for the structured learning.  He is a reluctant learner and would probably drive your mom crazy in a few days.

Anyway, now to answer your question.

If your mom will do some investigation, she will find that part of the success of homeschooling is the freedom.

Have her look at the following links and see if you can convince her to use some of this for curriculum rather than the books.  It will take a load off of her.

http://www.learner.org/

http://www.learner.org/channel/courses/d...

This is the best way for me to learn.  The interactives and discussion topics help me to 'dig'  for more information from other sources.

Answer 14

I was homeschooled from 6-12 grades. I went to a Co-op which means that I went to school once a week and then I just did all of the other like home work you could say. I am VERY motivated when it comes to that kind of stuff, however my sister and brother are NOT!!!! I think that it just depends on that. So people can do it very easily, and others can not. My brother ended up dropping out, because he wasn't motivated. But if you stick to it, then you can do anything!!!! There are MANY things that you can get credits for that are different than public schools. Just go to your states department of education website and you can see it there. But I do encourage you to choose classes similar to public schools that way you have learned some what of the same things once you get in college... Good Luck with your education!!!! =)

Answer 15

I'll give you a bit of information on the difference between home schooling, unschooling and doing school @home.

This may help in negotiating with your mom as to how to approach your studies, and what learning/teaching method may be best for you all.

You and your sister may not even like to learn in the same manner, this often comes to light after you have started, and found what works best for each one of you.

Home/unschooling is teaching your children at home instead of using a conventional school, private, public, or charter to do it for you.

Home/unschooling gives the parent complete control over what is taught, as well as the time, place, and method used to do the teaching.

Both home schooling, and unschooling gives the parent the choice to go year round, or simply set their own schedule that is best for their families.

Children quickly gain the understanding that learning is not confined to a school, certain hours, or pre-selected books, but is a life long process, and has only those limitations that we ourselves place upon it, or allow others to place upon it.

Home/unschooling is not, at least not for us without guidance.

Children need guidance, and direction throughout their young lives to be able to learn, and develop character, and integrity.

home/unschooling is a natural continuation of basic parenting, we simply add academics when they are ready.

Home/unschooling simply means learning in a natural setting, and using non-traditional means to teach.

Non-traditional meaning without an artificial school setting, either in a conventional school, or at home.

Home/unschooling uses many media, and some, but rarely traditional school text books, much of the learning is hands on, by working along side the adults, through 4H, and other organizations that have hands on training.

We use 4H for all our electives, as well as speech and debate. (Toast Masters).

Home/unschooling is learning by doing, not just reading about it.

We learn math, reading, and writing in a more structured (traditional) setting.

We use a lot of games, board games, computer software, or outdoor games.

See this web site what is available for games, and you will see learning does not have to be confined to a textbook.

http://www.educationallearninggames.com/...

Home/unschooling can be completely, or to some extend be child directed, and this; at least for us; means that when our children come to a particular subject that they want to learn about, we do not put a time limit on them as to how long they can learn about it, we simply try to provide every opportunity they need to learn as much as they want too.

Most often when children are allowed to learn in a natural way, in the form of unschooling, relaxed, Montessori, or self directed learning, they understand the concepts better, and score high on any (academic) test they are given.

Hands on teaching, instructors who are experienced in their field, from a car mechanic, pilot, store clerk, to a doctor; if these are willing to answer childrens questions and children would be incouraged to ask questions freely; can teach more in 15 minutes than textbooks, and hours in classrooms could accomplish.

For some other sources to research the many faces of unschooling see:

Click on the little purple box to view the video for free.

http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/...

Click on home school methods, and than unschooling.

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/...

http://www.homeschoolinganswers.info/

http://www.unschooling.com/

http://ulfaq.home.comcast.net/~ulfaq/ULf...

http://sandradodd.com/unschooling