Dilemma regarding work, love and travel!?

Question

Ok well,

I've just been employed in a job I was DYING to get for ages, got picked out of a huge group so I feel really great about it :) It's pretty much a once in a lifetime job opportunity and I am really glad I've got it in the bag..

Then comes the fact that I've promised my boyfriend we'd go to America to visit his family at the end of the year. I am really keen to go and we've been looking forward to it for a while, but the problem is that he wants to go for about 3 months, and while I never had a problem about that before, the fact that I have this job now puts me in a bit of a tough spot. I don't want to lose this job because of being away for so long, and of course I don't want to ask the company right when they've hired me if I can take that much time off..

But then AGAIN, I don't want to ask my boyfriend because (and here comes the tricky part) because he ALSO tried out for the same job and I got it instead, which of course upset him. He's justifying the loss of the job position with "oh, it's only temporary, once we go to America you can find another one".. And of course I don't want to add in that I really don't want to lose the job but if I said that it would mean I was being kinda insensitive towards him because I'm picking a job over happiness between us...

Argh! I'm in a pickle. Should I work the compromising angle and ask if we can shorten the trip so I have more chance with keeping the job or what? HELP!

Answer 1

I'm sorry to your boyfriend, but the job has priory not the vacation. It doesn't matter if he was in line for the job, he wants you to come for 3 month or will be upset. You need to have a talk with him and let him know that you want this job, can't take all of the time out and you will have to maybe go for a weekend and a couple of days. He will be upset and mope around, but the sooner you tell him the more time he has to get used to it. Good luck.