Disabled Children?

Question

My wife and I are about to have another baby. We currently have a 3 year old daughter who is disabled (Partially Blind, Partially Deaf, Impaired motor skills)

My question: are there resourses or a website that can advise us on how to raise two children who are so different?

We are afriad that we will neglect one child in some way, because we will inevitably relate to each child differently.

Answer 1

Unfortunetely I don't think that any reading material will ever prepare you for this journey....My mother gave birth to twin which one had cerebral palsy...growing up it was tough...I was the only child until the age of 7 when my sisters were born...it was hard I will say because my parents were always caring for my sister (she needed constant attention) I often cried or got upset because I didn't get to do the things the other kids were doing like going on vacation or going to disney or a whole lot of time with my parents just by myself....but I knew my parents loved my and they did their best to ensure that I had everything I needed and that they gave me as much of their devoted time that they could! My sister passed when she was 4 and it was a hard time.....My mother always felt guilty because she thinks she never did enough (I'm 26 now) and I tell her all the time she did the best job she could for me! It's hard to deal with....a good friend of ours has 3 kids...1 with down syndrome 1 with very severe autism and 1 that has no disability at all....and this family is absolutely amazing I am just in awe of the job they do with the diversity of their family....God will never give you something you can't handle....you will do a fine job it will just come naturally to you....And you children will never think you didn't do enough.  Good Luck I hope my story brought you some help....!

Answer 2

I have 5 boys (4months - 4yo)

Each one special in their own unique way. And I can tell you, every book I have ever read about Parenting was a complete load of hogwash.

My eldest son came to us, from an abusive background and has a few little problems, as well as some massive mountains to climb. We looked for a book to try and make his life and our other son's lives easier. Apparently they don't have *how-to-books* on this matter.

My second eldest was born with hearing problems. He has been labelled as legally deaf, but has under gone 2 surgeries to try and repair his hearing. He is also a twin. He will have to undergo many more surgeries to try and help him.

My youngest of the 5, has extreme colic, and bowel problems. So he also takes up a lot of time, because also of the fact he is 4 months old.

I say take each day as it comes. Honestly it's all you can do. I make sure every day I spend AT LEAST 1 hour with each boy 1 on 1. We are all trying to be more vocal (or signing) with each other.

There are no 2 children who are both the same. You just need to jump in and try and smooth our the creases as you go.

Good Luck

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Answer 3

As a child I was perfectly normal but a had a younger sister with severe autism, I was quite often feeling left out because she was getting all the attention with everyone trying to calm her down from a tantrum she was throwing and not paying any attention to me.

Coming from the situation you are asking about I can tell you from first hand experience that you make both children feeling as if they are being treated equally. If your disabled girl needs something try to make sure if possible that only you or your wife deals with it - not both of you, this way your other child won't feel left out.

http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild...

this website might help you if you follow some of the links, but if you are really having trouble then see a social worker, this is actually one of the most common problems they have to deal with. Good luck