Disabled mum wants grown up abusive son to leave?

Question

advice needed please.... my brother is 30, and a complete waste of space, never had a job, acts like a teenager,sleeps all day ,shouts, screams etc my mum is scared to even have her carers do the cleaning because he kicks off. my kids are scared to visit because he frightens them.i think he has some kind of psychiatric or personality disorder, but he doesnt think he has a problem. in the past ive helped him find work and get flats but he always messes it up and he has ended up scrounging off my mum for the last few years.

I am the eldest child but he wont listen to me or anyone else, I will stand up to him but he just kicks off and it upsets my mum so i rarely even speak to him except to say hello. my mum was very upset tonight and said she wants him to go but she cant make him. she says she has tried to get the police to make him go etc but they either cant or he just comes back. my opinion is she is too soft and just lets him back. ive said i will look into it for her , ways to get him out, but im not sure where to start..any advice or info is appreciated.

Answer 1

At the end of the day your mothers health/safety must come first not your brother if your mums carers have witnessed his behaviour or been at the receiving end of it they by rights should have reported it to there superiors, I am guessing you are from the UK he does not have to have notice to leave your mums place she is allowing him to stay out of kindness as a favour so to speak if things are bad enough for your mum to want or needs a restraining order/injunction against him she must get one with POWERS OF ARREST with out it they are not worth the paper they are written on (advised this from a police officer and a solicitor) because your mum will be on benefits she will get  lot if not all the costs paid for DO NOT WORRY please E-mail me my wife and myself have or are going through something very similar ourselves there are lots I can tell you from my experience, you have expressed a concern over your brothers personality sorry to ask this but is there any chance drugs could be involved along the line somewhere? not trying to cast a shadow just looking for another avenue to look at but please contact me can help you in more detail no problem.

Answer 2

I think you can apply for a court order.

Does he pay rent ?  If not - tell the court.

Good luck

Answer 3

Citizens advice bureau, first thing Monday morning. this is your best bet. unless you want to go deep into your pocket.

Answer 4

this is a diffecult situation for you and your mum and i hope someone can help you,it does not sound as if he will go willingly and im not sure where you would stand legally,i would suggest police removal and restraining order on grounds of unreasonable and abusive behavior,visit your local citizens advice,its free and they have the legal knowledge to help you.also speak with your gp about his instability the doctor should be able to help with getting his mental health assessed.

Answer 5

Social  services Have a word with them.

Answer 6

Go with her to talk to a lawyer, she doesn't want this to go for the rest of her life, and it will unless she takes action.  Laws are different in different places, but she should be able to get a restraining order against him.  If he has mental problems, the police may be able to get him a 72 hour hold in a facility to assess his mental state.

She needs your support, obviously, as she can't bring herself to turn him down when he needs help.

Answer 7

Your mum has carers so I imagine at some stage she has been assessed by someone for her needs which would suggest she is 'in the system'. If this is the case the carers should be reporting your brother for abuse for this is what he is doing to your mum. If she is in the system get in touch with CSCI (commission for Social Care Inspection) for some advice. Or make an anonymous phone call to  adult protection. You must do something about him for  your mothers sake.

Answer 8

the best way is to sit down with him with your mother and tell him that he has to find his own place to live.

then give it him in writing say a two month notice to get out.

if he is not out get the police to put him out and don't let him back in.

its that simple you just have to mean what you say

Answer 9

anthony M and taxed till i die are right

If he does have a mental health prob;em you should eat your words for saying he is a total waste of space

are you perfect?

he needs help not that kind of harsh needless criticism