Disaplining kids under one?

Question

my son is 10 months n understands the word no when he wants to.. he throw tantroms or refuses to listen at times.. i refuse to spank! but i need a way to teach him im boss.. removing him dont work he will throw a tantrom n crawl right back to where i just pulled him from.. this will last as long as i have him in teh same level of the hosue i litterally have to take him upstairs or outside n then there is another tantrom.. whats best punishment for when he refuses to listen.. he is a 10 month old thinking he is 10 years at times.. i am dreading teen years...

Answer 1

First, congratulations on refusing to spank!

Second, there isn't really a way to "discipline" a baby.  Their brains aren't mature enough to figure out that they shouldn't do something because of some particular consequence that happened the last time.

So, you shouldn't really do a lot of talking.  Just remove him from the problem, or put the object in question out of reach.   Stay calm if he throws a tantrum ... it won't hurt him any.  When he calms down you can show him something different to get interested in.

It's not a question of good and bad; you don't need to even think of punishing.  He's too young.  Just look at it like an interesting problem you have to solve, to keep him and your house both in one piece.

Answer 2

I work in the infant room at a daycare - we have age 6 wks to about 15 months in our room at any given time.  right now we have a couple who are already one and some who are about 7-11 months old.  since it is a daycare center we are not allowed to spank/spat/flick/smack hands etc, or bite/kick/"hit" back when the children do.  (my friends' younger siblings, when they bit, would get a controlled bite in return, just enough to teach them that it doesn't feel good NOT enough to hurt them or harm them - one, maybe two times was all it ever took.)     consequently that leaves us with very few options when dealing with inappropriate behaviors.  they DO understand the word no and they also know when they are doing something they are not supposed to do.  most of the time (depending on the action/offense) we begin with re-direction; then if necessary move on to time out.  we have instead of high chairs a table with six baby seats set into the table top which is where we place them for time out.

ex:  "Jim" takes a toy from "Bob".  "Jim" is told no, we don't take toys from other people and the toy is returned to "Bob", "Jim" is turned in the other direction or moved towards other toys.  "Jim" returns to "Bob", takes the toy and proceeds to hit "Bob" with it.  "Jim" is then told no thank you that's not nice, and placed in time out in the table for 1-2 minutes; while being moved he is reminded that we don't hit other people, it's not nice.     Depending on the situation depends on whether or not they get time out right away (99% of the time they don't).    For temper tantrums ignoring them is best, just make sure they can't hurt themselves or others.  if the tantrum goes on for a while or the child is being especially loud they may be removed to their crib to take a nap (usually when the ones we have pitch a fit they are tired) or to at least settle themselves down - once settled they may come back and play but while they are in their crib they are basically ignored (not their safety but no eye contact and turning away from them).

we have one little boy who likes to hit us while his diaper is being changed - it's a deliberate hit too not just swinging his arms and contact made - so when he starts trying to hit me i hold his wrist and lay his arm beside him and tell him 'NO hitting' firmly but not loudly  (not holding his arm tight enough to hurt him either) and then tell him if he wants someones attention he needs to be gentle and show him how gentle is.

so yeah.  the best thing is consistancy.  if you let them get away with it one time they will keep trying it to get that one time.  also keep your cool and don't raise your voice unless they are doing something dangerous.     oh and time-out time, if they are sitting on the floor or whatever, if they move off the time starts over.

Answer 3

Uh, you're dealing with babies here, you might just want to remain gentle for a bit. Babies are fussy, sometimes you have to put them in their crib or take away things from them to get them to cooperate. It's completely different than dealing with older kids and teenagers.

Answer 4

I put my daughter in her crib when she decides to throw a trantrum, she has only had 2 tantrums in her life. She knows that Mommy and Daddy wont put up with them. I do believe in spanking but not at such a young age. Saying No and meaning it EVERYTIME is the best method. If he is crawling toward where he isnt supposed to keep pulling him away and saying no, even if you have to do it for 10 minutes he will eventually get tired of  trying!  Goodluck

Answer 5

I think firstly you need to re direct him when he starts to do what you dont want him to do, if he then gets upset take him to what you dont want him to do - get to his level and say no firmly and then take him back to his redirection, if he goes back keep picking him up and putting him back but dont speak to him, this may need to keep being repeated but dont give up. Use this when he does anything bad but i think its best to redirect him to something fun rather then a naughty step or his cot because he hasnt actually done anything wrong

Answer 6

what i would do with my son (he is now 13 months) is i would redirect him and tell him no thank you please. if he went back i woudl redirect him again and tell him no if he went back again i would smack him lil hand (nothing to hard) and tell him firmly no. that owuld usually get the point across. but if your lil one insists on doing what he wants i would suggest a time out after the third no. sit him in his crib for a few minutes leave the door cracked open and just let him throw his tantrum when you hear the tantrum is almost over go in hold him and explain to him why he was put in time out.

Answer 7

How can you discipline a child which has not yet developed the concept of right and wrong. He is a baby and he only reacts to the word no because of the tone of your voice babies are simply learning about there environment they don't actually do thing to be bad they do them becaue they are discovering how the world works. Leave the displine until he is old enough to understand what you are displining him for.

Answer 8

ok well im used to this take him shopping buy him 2 things he loves but keep em out of his reach explain to him to get them he cant throw a fit and no means no he has to go 1 day without a tantrum to get them once hes got them explain to himm if he throws a tantrum they will be taken away if that dosnt work start praising him for when hes good and tell him youre proud of him and why and when hes bad tell him you dont like what he is doing and that youre dissapointed in him good luck.

Answer 9

mine isnt there yet but my niece was put for a timeout in her crib or playard that always worked as for the tantrums ignore it as long as he is not hurting himself, try diverting his attention before it gets to that point though, pull out a book, or favorite toy, even rotate his toys so he has something new and different every day.

hope this helps

Answer 10

Its hard to discipline a 10 month old,but if you are against spanking then maybe you shoudl try a time out...put him in the corner or a chair away from everything and make him stand or sit there for 2 minutes or so and tell him what he did was bad. If all else fails a spank to the butt is not gonna kill him.

Answer 11

hi,

Good thinking, spanking is not really a disciplining solution.

firstly u MUST understand n remember tt ur son is JUST 10mths old.  He is still at a stage where he wants to explore and experience things using his senses.

why dun u try to observe wat it is tt he really wants to do, and safely let him try out the things tt he wanna try?  of cos, u hve to be ard to supervise him.  

and try to avoid saying 'NO', it cld be used against u wen he begins to speak.  try distracting him (if wat he wants to do is dangerous) by giving him some toys to play with or bringing him out to a play area?

Answer 12

I don't believe at 10 months old they understand wrong doing. The child simply needs to be devereted to another more interesting activity. Too often we don't see the world through a childs eyes... EVERYTHING in this world is a brand new discovery to them, they are very curious.

Answer 13

When I tell my 11 month old "no" I say it in a deep voice so she knows Im serious or she in danger. If she doesn't listen, I put her in her crib for 1 minute. Although Im lucky to say she doesn't throw many tantrums....I started to discipline when she was very young (five months)...and she would cry bc she was so scared of the mean mommy voice. It works and with boys, I would try harder bc i feel they are more likely to have bad behavior.

Answer 14

well what you can do  take him upstairs put him in his cot or bed and leave him. he will fall asleep or maybe learn tht every time he does it he will go in his room . another one you could do it place him in the pram leave him in a safe place where the pram wont tip over and leave him he may have the same reaction

Answer 15

Place him in a highchair for about 1 minute; this will introduce him to the concept of time-out. Time-outs are used in increments of 1 minute per year of age. He may be really needing a nap when he exhibits these "tantrums", so try putting him in his crib for a nap. Try not to punish, but rather nead his developmental cues as he is learning his environment and testing limits as well. Also, institute a regular schedule for him and remain consistent.

Answer 16

I think that you need to let him cry his trantrum out. He is touching something and you tell him NO and he starts throwing a trantrum than move him away from things that he can hurt himself on and leave him be. If he goes back than tell him NO and move him again be consistant and firm, but when it doesn't work I say pop the back of his theigh one time and that will send and much better message!

Answer 17

Redirection works the best. But I popped hands when my son touched something hot or dangerous. At 10 months, he'll understand the hand pop. A tantrum gets him sent to bed.

When he is older, popping on the butt isn't bad in my opinion. Too many kids are running over their parents when they get older because they know they won't get spanked. Saying no all the time doesn't do any good. It becomes repetitive instead of productive.

Answer 18

5 stars for you fo refusing to spank =) hes way to young to understand that. discpline for kids his age could be in the form of quiet time (time-outs if you may).

if you say no, look at him in the eye and tell it to him. dont go all panicky when he throws a tantrum, stay calm and stick to your word---no matter what, appear to be unconcerned while he's going through his tantrums (but be aware as he might hurt himself while throwing a fit).

throwing a fit is his way of saying he knows which button to push when he wants something.

Answer 19

I am no parent, but I've been babysitting my cousins, other people's children, and my siblings for years...whenever they start throwing temper tantrums, the parents have always told me to just place them into their cribs and to ignore it...they say to only intervene when they are doing something that can harm them or anyone else.

Answer 20

You are giving him far more credit than his developing brain deserves. Does he understand no? Maybe, maybe not, but at ten months he simply is not able to control himself. So what you need to do is make sure that he cannot get to what he wants if what he wants is out of bounds. And he's going to have a tantrum. It does help if you have something else that you can distract him with. A different toy or an activity. Don't feel bad, though, if it doesn't always work. My youngest daughter is very distractable, her older sister was much more single minded.

Answer 21

I think you need to read some parenting books, because it does sound like you're headed for trouble.

At this age, you have complete and absolute power over him practically, or at least you should. If he tantrums, ignore it every time. Otherwise, if you give in even once, you are teaching him that sometimes it works and therefore is worth the effort. If you don't want him somewhere, put up a gate or put him in a playpen. Being physical with children of this age is not appropriate.

In short, he is displaying these behaviors because they are working for him...he is getting what he wants this way, otherwise he wouldn't keep doing it.

Answer 22

make somewhere a time out zone make up a name for it for example thinking pound and tell him that this is where he will go if he done something he should'nt do and make him stay there for 5 mins and then she should think about what he has done

this does work it has worked for me and they think about what they have done and they say sorry

Answer 23

Just don't give in to the tantrums and they will stop.  No kid is stupid enough to keep doing something that doesn't work.  At this age, it really is a matter of removing him from the situation--you can still pick him up, right?   And, actually, at this age, they're not really tantrums yet--he's too young for that.  Before children can speak, they have few ways to comunicate what the problem is.  What you see as a "tantrum" might just be crying to show there's a problem.

I suspect you might be a young mom, judging by your spelling and writing skills.

Answer 24

my baby brother will be 1 in August understands what no means but he do sent listen .he also knows what is off limits like the fireplace and the stairs and the toilet but still messes with them so when he heads toward the fireplace we tell him no if he doesn't listen and gets coal out of the fire place we smack his hand(gently )and tell him no it seams to work

Answer 25

It's  never to Early to  start teaching him" Timeout ".  Infants have a very short attention span, so time out should only last less than a minute, put him in his crib, or safe place while he is having his fits, my youngest daughter is 1 1/2, she know 's what time-out is, and so far it's working well...Good Luck

Answer 26

You should tell him no and remove him from the situation.  A time out in a crib or playpen can work, but keep the time out about a minute long because they have very short attention spans at this age.  As for tantrums-make sure he can't hurt himself on anything and ignore him.  It is hard to discipline one so young, but there are ways to let him know that this is not ok.  Good luck.

Answer 27

At 10 months old , your son is too young to correlate any type of punishment with his behaviour. Spanking and/ or timeouts at 10 months of age are inneffective and even abusive.  He does not yet understand right from wrong. Babies cry or act out for many reasons, they are usually trying to tell us that something is wrong, they are uncomfortable, etc. Your son is not deliberately trying to disobey you to be "bad" or test you. He is a baby, he is full of curiousity and learning about his environment. So redirect  him when necessary by removing him from the situation. A firm "No" is okay if he is doing something that may harm him. Babies often cry for attention, maybe he just wants to be picked up and hugged.

Save the punishments and timeouts for when he gets older.

Answer 28

At this age redirection & consistancy is the only things that will work. Their attention span is so short that by the time they have maneuvered back to the item in question they have forgotten the NO.

A firm No with facial expression of disapproval & redirection. He will get it eventually. In the future w time outs will work but at that age it will have to be in a playpen or other confined area.

I think if you start now you will be fine & safe to assume he will be minding before he is a teen.

Answer 29

There is something about the NO word that just burns us all. Try distracting him with a song or a book instead of saying no.  The other thing that you could do is if you do say no & he does throw a tantrum walk away. When my son was about to get into something I used to sneak myself infrot of him & pick him up & sing a song & dance with him...Good Luck!!!

Answer 30

He is completely normal!

I have twins who are 13 months old and they were a lot like that when they were that age.

The very best advice I can give you to save your sanity and stop him from constantly having tantrums (because they are normal when babies are frustrated) is to baby proof your home and remove anything that he isn't allowed to play with.  Pick a couple of rooms that are safe for him, and gate them off.

I did this when my girls were that age and it has saved my sanity because I can't literally run in two directions and constantly pull them away from anything dangerous, know what I mean?

He shouldn't have access to anything he isn't allowed to play with.

Discipline at this age is a joke, in my opinion.

Answer 31

The best method of discipline for children is "time out."  First, you need to establish a time out place in the house.  For instance, it could be a chair in the dining room, sitting in the bathroom, or whatever place in the house you choose (never the bedroom though).  Then when your son is misbehaving, you warn him first that he's going to have to sit in time out.  If he continues to misbehave, do not threaten anymore.  Simply take him to his time out chair.  He should remain in time out for as many minutes as his age.  Until he's two years old, he should only sit in time out for 1 minute.  When he's two it should be two, when he's three then three minutes, etc.  Make sure he knows that if he crawls away then the time starts again and he will go back to time out.  You must be consistant and you must discipline him as soon as he misbehaves, never a moment later or he won't understand why he's being punished.  This is key.