Discipline for 2 1/2 yr old who doesn't listen...

Question

My 2 1/2 year old boy is normally incredibly well-mannered. When he decides to be disobedient he goes on and on being defiant with one thing after another. What do you do when your usual stern voice and disapproving look in the eye doesn't do the job? Most of the time this is all it takes for him, but when he gets on a roll some days, he doesn't stop. We've used time outs, no real threat to him. We recently started taking away his favorite tv show before bedtime when he has had a particularly rough day. Any other advice would be great!

Thanks!

Answer 1

When my 3 year old gets bad i give her warnings and if she carries on ... when we are at home i give her a time out in her crib and leave her in there with no toys and i leave her in there for  5 minutes and every time she yells or screams i add another minute. if we are out and she doesnt listen i tell her that there will be no story time or no cartoons or i take away her favorite toy when we get home so that way she understands. it works for me... but everyone is different.

Answer 2

At this age, kids dont register "NO" very well. And they dont register long term concepts. Sometimes simply providing alternative works well. As in You cant have this, but you can have that.  Sometimes he says to me: This is - no, this is- yes. So he gets the concept. On ocasion, I use time out, but only for a very short period of time.

Read a great book: "How to make terrible twos terrific" Its an excellent read and has helped me a lot.  

Answer 3

Have you tried the 1, 2, 3 method. If he doesn't listen by 3 you need to spank him. If you are in public than you pinch him. When he calms down explain why he needed to listen and why you spanked him.

Answer 4

As a mom, family therapist and a previous school social worker, I find that rewarding good behavior has the greatest impact on securing further positive behavior. When your child is doing what he is supposed to be doing, praise him like crazy and allow him to put a sticker on his "good boy" chart.  It is important to understand the cause of the behavior. If I am on the phone or checking email, my daughter sometimes starts to act up. I use that as a clear indicator that she needs me in that moment. If I need a few minutes to finish what I am doing, I simply tell her, " I know you want mommy to sit and play with you right now and I will come and sit with you in just a few minutes." If you are with your child and the acting out is still occurring,  you can use a firm "No" (sometimes followed by "that is not safe, you could hurt yourself or someone else") and redirect him to something he can do. If he is trying to get a rise out of you by threatening to color on the wall, redirect him to paper. If he is threatening to use a toy hammer on a sibling or pet, use a clear "no", and redirect him to the carpet or other safe place. In response to your attempt at taking away the tv show, your son might not link the loss of the tv show with his behavior. Too much time may have elapsed between the two. My daughter is obsessed with Caillou and sometimes needs it to calm down when she is having a terrible two sort of day. Although I do not suggest hours of tv, a few minutes here and there to ward off a tantrum is not a bad thing. Lastly, it is sometimes necessary for a child to "take a break" (aka time out) when the behavior is out of control. I use the language of "winding down" or "calming down" with my daughter and I pull her aside and we talk. She is only 2 (almost 2 1/2) and only understands simple concepts. Safety is one of them. Her wanting my attention is another. I then tell her what I expect her to do and remind her if she is able to do it, she can get stickers...

Good luck! This is a difficult age...

Answer 5

A tactic I like to use is the time out shelf. Find a place out of reach then when your child misbehaves take their favorite toy and place it on that shelf. Make sure they know it doesn't come down until they stop or it stays there. The key is keep to your word and don't give in. It is going to take a few tries before it works. The first time I heard this from a friend I laughed, but it truly does work. I've used it for all three of the kids I nanny (ages: 6, 5, and 2). Good luck!

If you have any future concerns maybe my site can help you in the future.

Answer 6

spank his bottom

Answer 7

Are you being short and specific about his actions. Hes still young and possibly a low vocabulary understanding. Just look him in the eyes and say simply, " No more__________" Say it a few more times for clarity. The say "No stop, No__________." (place something imediate, like no more couch if he jumping on it. If he jumps on the couch again quiclky place him on the floor. Say no more jump. We sit on the couch. Jump on the floor. Make your demands with explanations and take care of it immediatly. Waiting too long, like bed time, dosent give him an alternative  for needed change.He cant make the needed changes with no alternatives.

We use this tenique with my son and he can tell you what he did wrong at age three. I just simply ask him, Are you going to run when we get in the store? He quickly responds, No. The I say good lets go shoping. If he starts to run. I take him by the hand and say well I guess we are done shopping. He usually gets mad and i remind him he was running. The he seems to stop and we finish the trip.

Another example, today at school he got very mad when he didnt get his popscicle. I said Ms Theresa said she would give you one if you cleaned up. Did you clean up? He said No. Then i told him that is why he cant have one. So the next time Ms Theresa ask you to clean up, What are you going to do? He said, clean up. I said, I hope so.

Children need reasons for rules, not just rules.

Sometimes I ask him to look around, "Is anyone else running in the store?" This gives him a referance and a reason.