Discipline for adhd, conduct disorder child?

Question

What types of discipline do you recommend for a 7th grader with ADHD, mood/conduct disorder and depression at school? He is constantly being sent to ISS, in school suspension, and it has no thelped. He does things like not taking materials to class, not staying on task, being direspectful to teachers. The direspect is usually not severe..things like saying I don't want to, leave me alone, etc. Please help I am out of answers. We have grounded him at home, taken away the xbox, not let hiim watch tv, etc. It doesn't help with his behavior at school. He always says he didn't do it and it is not his fault. Then he says everyone hates him. He is in special education but goes to his normal classes.

Answer 1

I have worked with special ED for many years. My first suggestion is to have a talk with his teacher about his materials being brought to class, I strongly suggest that the teacher allow him to keep his materials in class at least his binder and his writing materials. Many issues can be going on at school, like stress. I think it could be part of his disability that he is forgeting his materials. This battle does not have to be fought . With your son point out the positive and as long as his work is getting done ,bringing his materials should not cause such an issue. When a teacher starts off mad at the student for not bringing his materials she is already shutting down your child and embarrassing him in front of the other students, that is why he is disrespectful off the bat, tell the teacher not to make such a big deal of it and your child will be less stressed and preform much better.It is extremely difficult these days for children with ADHD especially if there is not a proper aide in the class to help him.Frustration and tuning out is what most kids do when the task is over whelming.Keep a positive mind and try not to get mad at him rather than ask if he needs help understanding his homework,You sound like a great parent. This will work out but you need to take control and demand that your child has two sets of materials one for school and one at home.Most schools require the kids to have their materials but with Special ED they  do make exceptions.Hang in there. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 2

Ok. First i would suggest a positive contract from your son.  Pick one behavior for him to work on, say bringing materials to class.  IF he can go 3/5 days with bringing materials then let him earn a token and so many tokens can buy a privelege from home or school.  Then a contract that he has to have so many tokens or he loses a privilege.  I would suggest one behavior at a time so it is not overwhelming.  The teacher should reinforce that "forgetting his materials" will not get him out of class.  (she or he should be prepared to give him materials.)

A child with add needs to improve the amount of time on task, we know he isn't going to be on task, that's like asking a kid in a wheelchair to walk.  (it isn't going to happen)  The sped teacher should be monitoring and reinforcing time on task.  There should be a program where he has worked all he can on task (10-15 minutes) and then go into a small group where he should be able to focus better.  (resource room or case manager room)

He is acting out, most likely out of frustration, or he sees ISS or suspension as an avoidance technique.  (choosing not to bring books, being disrespectful etc.)  His teachers need to figure out what he can do. (how many minutes he can work) and then make mods. from the IEP.  Some kids with add work well with music or chewing gum, perhaps these are some accomodations that can be made for your child.

Another thing to think about, he is telling you it is not his fault, perhaps the teacher and he could have a checklist and she could just come to his desk when he is not on task and tell him to put a check.  This way he can visually see when he is not doing what is expected of him.

Answer 3

i have a buddy who's child was ADD diagnosed (I personally do not believe in it). and she essentially righted the problem with a proper diet much to the doctors chagrin, he wasnt able to push any pills on them !!!! There could be a lot of reasons why but i am guessing that its been lack of discipline up til this point. Discipline must start very early and unf a lot of folks your age with children your age are in this boat. sorry i couldnt really help but at least look into the diet part of it

Answer 4

Okay so what i'm getting is that he has ADHD, is mainstreamed and feels isolated from his peers, feels alone, feels like everyone "hates him" and is repsonding negatively because he often forgets materials (which is a big componant of ADD).

and the school and you respond by adding more negative reinforcement?

as someone that has ADD and went through much of what your son is going through now; i can't stress this enough: he needs positive reenforcement, and lot's of it. he needs praise for when is does act appropriately, he needs to be told he's doing a good job and rewarded for it.  He needs his teacher's to acknowledge when he does something good.

Also he needs to know that home is a good, supportive, SAFE place--- in otherwords no groundings, no taking stuff away from him (unless his behavior really is unjustified)--- allow him to be himself and express who he is.

As for school:

His teachers need to be more active in reminding him about what materials he needs; maybe he needs a check list of what materials he needs.

Get some of his teachers to let him keep some materials in the classroom so he doesn't have to remember everything.

You need to talk to his teachers about communicating with him effectively; yelling at him, telling him he's being bad won't work--- they need to be stern but positive, remind him of his expectactions and be supportive.

It's also possible that his placement (which classes he's in, what level class etc) is not the appopriate one. When i was mainstreamed they didn't really put much effort into putting me in an appropriate level class--- they put me in whatever class was available at the time my special ed class met---and didn't think about what the APPORIATE level is. Sometimes they push for "grade level" when the student needs a different class.

you need to advocate for him, demand better service---if you have to threaten to sue, threaten to take him out of district (and remind them they have to pay if they can't provide services for him)...

I would also suggest he be allowed to see a resource teacher and speak with the school psychologist who will be able to help him come up with more apporpriate behavioral responses and work on his isolation and lonlieness. It sounds like your son is depressed, lonely and feels like there is no support--- this is not a good combonation. he needs someone to talk to that isn't you or his teachers. the school psychologist is a great choice.

Answer 5

Everything you said is "negative".  That is you take things away or suspended him  from class.  Your child needs positive reinforcement.   Try rewarding your child for behavior that is appropiate.  "Show a little kindness".  Give him a hug, a pat on the back, a wink, a nod etc.  Tell him how proud you are of his good behavior. Say things like, "I like it when you complete your task."   However, don't forget that he has ADHD, and expect some unacceptable behavior.  When this happens, just say, "I don't like it when you do that," and don't make a big issue of it.

Always remember that your child needs attention but don't give him attention for wrong doings or miss behavior.  Teach him that if he performs favorably, he will get attention. (You don't have to tell him that, just do it)

As a teacher for 30 years, I had several ADHD children in my class but they were never given a suspension.  I did, ocasionally, take then to oneside and talk to them (in private) about the kind of behavior I expected.  And, YES, I do know that an ADHD child is very demanding and challenging.

ADHD children do not fit in. They are different. As a result they receive a lot of negativity from those around them. These negative reactions from others- from teachers, from neighbors, from relatives, and from other children – eat away at their feelings of self-esteem.

Go to this website to get more info and maybe help.

http://addadhdadvances.com/cylt1.html

Good Luck.

Answer 6

Has this child ever been seen by a professional who can diagnose the exact cause of his problems?

This child is acting out in this way for a REASON, not just for the h**l of it.

Could he have learning problems? LOTS of kids who have learning problems 'act out' in this way because they are frustrated. THey are frustrated because they are not getting the help they need for the learning problems.

What is he in special ed for? Is it for the behavior, or  learning problems?  What did the schools testing show when they first allowed him to be in special ed? Did the testing show he has learning problems?

Since he's in special ed, the school is suppose to be doing (BY LAW) a  'behavior intervention plan' with POSITIVE discliplines.

This childs parent should write to the district special ed director requesting a 'functional behavioral assesment' to see what the exact problems are. And from this assesment,  the whole IEP team (this is the team that he has for special ed, and this includes the parent) gets together and decides the discliplines that should be done on a 'behavior intervention plan'  which is to be POSITIVE not NEGATIVE.

But good luck with it, because schools all over USA do NOT want to help kids in special ed.  You have just proven the case here by the child not ALREADY having a behavior plan like this.

THis plan is mandated by FEDERAL law and the school KNOWS this.