Discipline for children what do you do?

Question

hi everyone.

this morning i posted a question about smacking children and how i did not, but wanted opinions etc from parents who felt smacking was right.

Alot of parents seem too smack there children as a form of discipline.

I myself have 2 sons, now my 3 yr old has never been smacked in his life, in fact i have never even thought about it till now. He is a great kid and well mannered and people comment everywhere we go how well mannered and polite he is.

i use the time out seat, for 3 Min's, then after 3 Min's return explain why he was put there, he says sorry and then that's it.

When he was younger, i ignored bad behaviour and praised good.

I just feel inflicting pain on a child is cruel, and i personally would feel so guilty i would/could never do that.

whats your way too discipline?

Answer 1

I am a smacker, but I also use other methods like ignoring or putting her in her room and closing the door until she says she is going to be good. I really haven't found the perfect way to discipline yet, just getting through day by day, we don't have a naughty corner or a naughty chair as i don't think she would actually stay in one. She will especially get a smack if she does something dangerous i.e. running out on the road.

Sure sometimes I feel guilty, but then I get over it, my parents smacked me and I don't resent them for it at all and my daughter gets over it really fast, she knows I love her

I don't think anybody deserves thumbs down for their parenting style. Everybody is different and people should respect others ways, as long as they arent abusive of course

Answer 2

1st IN theory I do agree hitting is not usually helpful. In reality it is often helpful. All kids do learn in different ways. What works on super nanny or advice from Dr. Phil may not be helpful at all with one child where is works awesome with another child. I think everyone agrees that beating is never a answer, should never be accepted. I also feel it's not right to judge other parents on how they choice to run their homes and children. My daughters mental health doctor has told me spanking is not effective over the age of like 7-9 years old. Time outs are not effective when a child has ADD ADHD. You won't get a hyper over active child to sit 3 mins. My 11 year old can not sit 5mins without it leading to her biting herself kicking the walls in. Taking away privileges has worked best in my home. When my child is out of control she is sent to her room not time out because she can't do a time out sitting. ALL kids learn in their own way. If a parent choices to spank i don't feel i have a right to say it's not right that's their child their home their buissness. Even at school my daughter is allowed to stand sitting is hard for her, in her case a time out chair is a joke.

Answer 3

Exactly the same as you :) Have you been watching Supernanny also? I also would not smack my kids, and they are also very well mannered. Smacking just gives them negative attention, time out gives no attention, therefore more effective :)

Good job :)

Answer 4

well for my one year old i use a hand slap and removing him from the situation... say he's playing in the dog's water, i would say NO, slap his hand and move him a few feet away, if he returns to the bowl immediately the scenario is repeated but he is moved into the living room, which is basically a large play pen as he can't leave it... some times upon hearing me say NO he stops going for the water so that's where things end

Answer 5

i send them to there rooms for a little bit

Answer 6

I don't use spanking, never have, never will. It's just not necessesary. I have 4 boys 13, 13, 11 and 8 and they are all 4 well behaved kids.

My thing is that I don't focus on punishment to begin with. I focus on parenting, setting limits, sticking to them, being consistent, having good communication, a strong relationship and creative methods to teach my kids right from wrong and why. I believe that when someone has a good parenting style then the need for punishment is much much less because children learn self discipline. They learn to make their own good choices rather than making choices controled by the threat of punishment. They want to do the right thing because it's the right thing, not to avoid punishment. This is the foundation for them to grow into well adjusted adults. If a parent has to constantly control their child's behavior with harsh punishments then they will be in for a shock when their kid hits teen years and starts rebelling. Or when as an adult they don't know how to make their own good choices because they've never been taught, they've only been controlled by punishment.

that's MY take on it from my own experiences....let my thumbs down begin LOL I know I'll get plenty simply because I said I don't spank...People would rather thumb down than actually take a minute to think about what someone is saying. Either way I'm the one who sees the proof of what  am saying in my own 4 kids.

Answer 7

I have hit my 3yo...  More or less out of desperation or "OMG YOU COULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF RUNNING OUT TO THE PARKING LOT LIKE THAT" LoL!!  Not funny but you get it.

But...  This summer I took a required course, General Psych, and did my final research paper on Corpral Punishment used on children...  Everything I could find, only pointed to a child being physically and emotionally hurt, develop fear for the parent, possible move one to be a violent person, HUGE contrast in self image/esteem among children who are hit, and who aren't..  The list goes on...  It especially effects girls, ESPECIALLY when a man hits them, it actually puts them at a higher risk of being in an abusive relationship themselves when they are older... They are also at higher risk to become sexually active at a young age..  Other things I read I just can't post here, but the answers are out there...  It upsets me too much...  I was always a fan of there is nothing wrong w/ a good slap on the butt if need be, but after my report, and taking that particular course this summer, I will do my best and be sure that I will never EVER hit my children again...  I have found so many other ways that work anyhow...  Oh yeah, kids who are spanked tend to b/c numb to discipline anyhow.