Discipline ideas for three year old?

Question

My daughter is going through the "terrible threes" she is a fun loving little girl as long as she gets what she wants! She doesn't listen, runs and hides when I call her to clean up messes. She loves to tell me no or that she doesn't want to do this or that. I know that kids go through these stages, but I do not want her to become a monster if I do not do something. Any ideas on this? We usually do a time out after a warning she whines a lot and screams if she has to go in timeout. I then make her apologize and make sure she knows what she did wrong. Any ideas on how to get her to stay in her bed at night without getting up a hundred times for water or to potty? Any advice or stories would help greatly.

Answer 1

I make mine sit in a chair for time out for 3 minutes. Teach her the clean up song. My kids taught my youngest that and she cleans just to sing it. I love it! It goes something like this  "Clean up ....... everybody clean up..." She has to sing it at least 3 times a day.Don't let her get up for those things. My oldest daughter used to do that until she knew i had caught on so she switched to i'm hungry, knowing I wouldn't let her go to bed hungry. It got so bad she was eating a full package of lunch meat to keep from going to bed every night. I put a stop to it and it was hard! But once we made it past a week or two things were great until my husband slipped and let he stay up to eat one night and then we had to start all over again so do not let it slip. As long as you let her get by with it she will continue to do so, they know how to pull our strings and soemtimes we let them.

Answer 2

My son is also in his terrible threes but we have relatively few problems at bedtime. Mainly because we don't tolerate any monkey business after we have put him in bed. He is not allowed to have a drink or anything else (there is plenty of opportunity before bed) and he knows this. When you put her in bed just be very clear. Make sure she has a drink of water or goes to the toilet before bed and once she is in it, do not allow her to get out or give her a drink. If she does get out, you put her calmly back in again without speaking or giving eye contact, then you leave the room. You may have to do this a hundred times to start off with, but eventually she will realise that nothing will be gained by getting out of bed and she will stop doing it.

Time outs haven't been amazingly successful for us, either, but we have recently started trying a reward system - when he is good he gets a little blue bead and when he has ten he can go to the toy shop and pick what he wants. If he is naughty, we take one away from him. It works very well so far - he doesn't like losing his beads!

Answer 3

Don't give in.  It may be hard. You may have to endure a lot of screaming and crying, but don't give in.  To me, not learning how to behave appropriately is not a stage.  Throwing tantrums is a stage.  But being out right defiant and saying no to the parent, is not tolerated nor allowed. With both, you'll need to either start doing time outs and/or spanking.  Our child is 2 1/2 and if he throws a fit, it's time out in the playpen for 2 minutes.  If he directly tells us no, we tell him sternly, "You don't tell Mommy/Daddy No." He gets a swat and gets put in time out. I know some don't like spanking/swatting a child, so you should at least tell her in a very stern voice that she's not allowed to say no to you and give her time out.

If she whines, say something like "Sorry, honey, Mommy/Daddy can't understand you when your whining."  

The bed thing is a battle that you'll have to put your foot down on.  Let her get her drink a small amount before bed and go to the bathroom, then say to her no more drinks, it's time to go to bed.  If she gets up, then say no and send her straight back to bed.

I know all this works, because now at times he won't want to do something and start to point and scrunch up his face just as he is about to say no, but then he stops, looks at us (as we have stern looks back) and sighs heavily, sometimes throwing up his hands and continues to do what he knows he has to do.  And when it's bed time we do the routine of drink, potty, hugs and kisses, and he goes to bed.

Answer 4

ive been raising my baby sister who will be 5 in july and ive been through that stage. if she screams just let her and dont be afraid to spank her if she mouths back. thats how she'll learn. if she keeps getting up to get a drink then take away toys and/or t.v for the next day if she wont sleep. do the same thing when you do the time out. sit her away from any toys or tv for 5 minutes and if she keeps screaming and whining then leave her there longer. in time she will learn...trust me. it wont be easy but she'll learn. at night try closing all the bathroom doors so that she knows she cant go in....your the parent and you need to keep in charge. like i said, its ok to spank her becaue then you are showing her that she does not run the house and should not always get her way. i now it sounds a little mean...i thought the same thing at first, but its better then her turning into a major brat....im 16 and raising a kid thats not mine, if i can do it, im pretty sure you can. good luck!!

Answer 5

I just went through the terrible threes and dont expect it will stop once these fun loving little girls will turn four.  Toddlers these age usually try to assert themselves and not listening to mom and dad is one of them.  When it comes to cleaning up messes, try cleaning it up together and making it as fun as possible by "asking" and letting her decide if this toy goes to the blue basket or the red basket.  The "NO"  that comes out from them are usually the "no" that they hear from us.  I usually tell the reason behind the yes and no and they do respond to it rationally in their own way.  I do not use time outs because of these.  If they did something wrong i try to explain on their level why it is wrong.  You'll be amazed how quickly they realize they did something wrong and saying sorry wouldn't feel like it's being forced on them.  On getting up late at night for water? They tend to get thirsty, so that's one thing you might have to put up with.  It's better than risking dehydration.  Potty at night?  Have you tried letting her pee before bed? Usually when they ask for water at night they tend to pee once they wake up for breakfast and you smell their morning breath.  My 11 year old girl grew up on these kind of discipline and she's done very well, that is why my husband and i are still enforcing it on our just turned 4 yr old girl.  So far it is fun watching her grow and impose herself.  Let loose on some of her baby antics.  That's personality and character growing in front of you.

Answer 6

What I do with my little one who is also three, I will always sleep with her next to her and tell her story or just talk to her softly. Usually she will settle down for bed after 15 minutes.At this age, I think what they're looking for is closeness with you. Tell her that if she sleeps early now , she'll be able to weak up fresh to spent more quality time with you the next morning. My daughter always look forward for tomorrow, because she is sure that more challenge and fun is awaiting her.( I always keep my promise)

Answer 7

do not give in and give her what she wants.... if she is misbehaving take away privileges.  giving her what she wants most of the time is why she would act like that, you need to make it clear to her who is in charge, keep a waterbottle by her bed at night, but as far as potty, sorry i have nothing to help with that. good luck with her

Answer 8

I think you should get rid of the water an hour and a half before bedtime, and that reduces her need to go potty. Tell her drinking makes her go potty. Then if she still gets up, put her back in bed, as soon as you hear her get up, I tell her it night-night time and goodnight. Then if she gets up again I put her back, I had this problem when I changed her to her toddler bed, I had to put her back 9 times but now she usally stays there. Another thind that works if the above doesnt work, is sometimes I tell her that grandma will be sad if she doesnt stay in bed. I say if you stay, she'll be happy. And that will work if the putting her back in bed doesnt. As far as whining and screaming in time out, my daughter doesnt get out of time out untill she is quiet and acting like a good little girl, and she has to stay that way or 1 minute. then i go the same I ask her what she did whong, and if it is good or bad. If she doesnt know I tell her and make her repeat so she understands. If it involves hitting, like her littlle brother, I make her tell him sorry. I know what its like, my daughter is awesome if she is having fun, but as soon as she has to do something she doesnt like, it is a screaming fit. It is getting better now though, if she is screaming I say, stop doing ___ or you're going in the corner(her time out place) and normally she stops if not, that's where she goes. You have to be consistant though or it will never work.

Answer 9

I would strongly advise you to watch the tv show SuperNanny. She deals with children and behavior like this every week on the show.  

You must realize that not everything she does is shown...not enough time.

She also has a website that you could visit.

That being said, I would add ( as a mum, gram, greatgram)

that you find an appropriate method to nip these naughty behaviors in the bud before you have some really big problems to deal with.  Especially with a strong willed child.

No child arrives with a "How To" book....thats what mums and grams were for ...way back when extended family was up the street and around the corner.

Harder on you mums now, with family scattered all over the globe.

So, is up to you to learn an effective way to correct this before it gets huge, or you start throwing her against the walls.